CHAPTER XIX
THE VOICE IN THE DARKNESS
Just the dark head upon the pillow. That was all Jane saw at first,
and she saw it in sunshine. Somehow she had always pictured a
darkened room, forgetting that to him darkness and light were both
alike, and that there was no need to keep out the sunlight, with its
healing, purifying, invigorating powers.
He had requested to have his bed moved into a corner--the corner
farthest from door, fireplace, and windows--with its left side
against the wall, so that he could feel the blank wall with his hand
and, turning close to it, know himself shut away from all possible
prying of unseen eyes. This was how he now lay, and he did not turn
as they entered.
Just the dear dark head upon the pillow. It was all Jane saw at
first. Then his right arm in the sleeve of a blue silk sleeping-
suit, stretched slightly behind him as he lay on his left side, the
thin white hand limp and helpless on the coverlet.
Jane put her hands behind her. The impulse was so strong to fall on
her knees beside the bed, take that poor hand in both her strong
ones, and cover it with kisses. Ah surely, surely then, the dark
head would turn to her, and instead of seeking refuge in the hard,
blank wall, he would hide that sightless face in the boundless
tenderness of her arms. But Deryck's warning voice sounded, grave
and persistent: "If you value your own eventual happiness and his--"
So Jane put her hands behind her back.
Dr. Mackenzie advanced to the side of the bed and laid his hand upon
Garth's shoulder. Then, with an incredible softening of his rather
strident voice, he spoke so slowly and quietly, that Jane could
hardly believe this to be the man who had jerked out questions,
comments, and orders to her, during the last half-hour.
"Good morning, Mr. Dalmain. Simpson tells me it has been an
excellent night, the best you have yet had. Now that is good. No
doubt you were relieved to be rid of Johnson, capable though he was,
and to be back in the hands of your own man again. These trained
attendants are never content with doing enough; they always want to
do just a little more, and that little more is a weariness to the
patient.--Now I have brought you to-day one who is prepared to do
all you need, and yet who, I feel sure, will never annoy you by
attempting more than you desire. Sir Deryck Brand's prescription,
Nurse Rosemary Gray, is here; and I believe she is prepared to be
companion, secretary, reader, anything you want, in fact a new pair
of eyes for you, Mr. Dalmain, with a clever brain behind them, and a
kind, sympathetic, womanly heart directing and controlling that
brain. Nurse Gray arrived this morning, Mr. Dalmain."
No response from the bed. But Garth's hand groped for the wall;
touched it, then dropped listlessly back.
Jane could not realise that SHE was "Nurse Gray." She only longed
that her poor boy need not be bothered with the woman! It all
seemed, at this moment, a thing apart from herself and him.
Dr. Mackenzie spoke again. "Nurse Rosemary Gray is in the room, Mr.
Dalmain."
Then Garth's instinctive chivalry struggled up through the
blackness. He did not turn his head, but his right hand made a
little courteous sign of greeting, and he said in a low, distinct
voice: "How do you do? I am sure it is most kind of you to come so
far. I hope you had an easy journey."
Jane's lips moved, but no sound would pass them.
Dr. Rob made answer quickly, without looking at her: "Miss Gray had
a very good journey, and looks as fresh this morning as if she had
spent the night in bed. I can see she is a cold-water young lady."
"I hope my housekeeper will make her comfortable. Please give
orders," said the tired voice; and Garth turned even closer to the
wall, as if to end the conversation.
Dr. Rob attacked his moustache, and stood looking down at the blue
silk shoulder for a minute, silently.
Then he turned and spoke to Jane. "Come over to the window, Nurse
Gray. I want to show you a special chair we have obtained for Mr.
Dalmain, in which he will be most comfortable as soon as he feels
inclined to sit up. You see? Here is an adjustable support for the
head, if necessary; and these various trays and stands and movable
tables can be swung round into any position by a touch. I consider
it excellent, and Sir Deryck approved it. Have you seen one of this
kind before, Nurse Gray?"
"We had one at the hospital, but not quite so complete as this,"
said Jane.
In the stillness of that sunlit chamber, the voice from the bed
broke upon them with startling suddenness; and in it was the cry of
one lost in an abyss of darkness, but appealing to them with a
frantic demand for instant enlightenment.
"WHO is in the room?" cried Garth Dalmain.
His face was still turned to the wall; but he had raised himself on
his left elbow, in an attitude which betokened intent listening.
Dr. Mackenzie answered. "No one is in the room, Mr. Dalmain, but
myself and Nurse Gray."
"There IS some one else in the room!" said Garth violently. "How
dare you lie to me! Who was speaking?"
Then Jane came quickly to the side of the bed. Her hands were
trembling, but her voice was perfectly under control.
"It was I who spoke, sir," she said; "Nurse Rosemary Gray. And I
feel sure I know why my voice startled you. Dr. Brand warned me it
might do so. He said I must not be surprised if you detected a
remarkable similarity between my voice and that of a mutual friend
of yours and his. He said he had often noticed it."
Garth, in his blindness, remained quite still; listening and
considering. At length he asked slowly: "Did he say whose voice?"
"Yes, for I asked him. He said it was Miss Champion's."
Garth's head dropped back upon the pillow. Then without turning he
said in a tone which Jane knew meant a smile on that dear hidden
face: "You must forgive me, Miss Gray, for being so startled and so
stupidly, unpardonably agitated. But, you know, being blind is still
such a new experience, and every fresh voice which breaks through
the black curtain of perpetual night, means so infinitely more than
the speaker realises. The resemblance in your voice to that of the
lady Sir Deryck mentioned is so remarkable that, although I know her
to be at this moment in Egypt, I could scarcely believe she was not
in the room. And yet the most unlikely thing in the world would be
that she should have been in this room. So I owe you and Dr.
Mackenzie most humble apologies for my agitation and unbelief."
He stretched out his right hand, palm upwards, towards Jane.
Jane clasped her shaking hands behind her.
"Now, Nurse, if you please," broke in Dr. Mackenzie's rasping voice
from the window, "I have a few more details to explain to you over
here."
They talked together for a while without interruption, until Dr. Rob
remarked: "I suppose I will have to be going."
Then Garth said: "I wish to speak to you alone, doctor, for a few
minutes."
"I will wait for you downstairs, Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane, and was
moving towards the door, when an imperious gesture from Dr. Rob
stopped her, and she turned silently to the fireplace. She could not
see any need now for this subterfuge, and it annoyed her. But the
freckled little Napoleon of the moors was not a man to be lightly
disobeyed. He walked to the door, opened and closed it; then
returned to the bedside, drew up a chair, and sat down.
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," he said.
Garth sat up and turned towards him eagerly.
Then, for the first time, Jane saw his face.
"Doctor," he said, "tell me about this nurse. Describe her to me."
The tension in tone and attitude was extreme. His hands were clasped
in front of him, as if imploring sight through the eyes of another.
His thin white face, worn with suffering, looked so eager and yet so
blank.
"Describe her to me, doctor," he said; "this Nurse Rosemary Gray, as
you call her."
"But it is not a pet name of mine, my dear sir," said Dr. Rob
deliberately. "It is the young lady's own name, and a pretty one,
too. 'Rosemary for remembrance.' Is not that Shakespeare?"
"Describe her to me," insisted Garth, for the third time.
Dr. Mackenzie glanced at Jane. But she had turned her back, to hide
the tears which were streaming down her cheeks. Oh, Garth! Oh,
beautiful Garth of the shining eyes!
Dr. Rob drew Deryck's letter from his pocket and studied it.
"Well," he said slowly, "she is a pretty, dainty little thing; just
the sort of elegant young woman you would like to have about you,
could you see her."
"Dark or fair?" asked Garth.
The doctor glanced at what he could see of Jane's cheek, and at the
brown hands holding on to the mantelpiece.
"Fair," said Dr. Rob, without a moment's hesitation.
Jane started and glanced round. Why should this little man be lying
on his own account?
"Hair?" queried the strained voice from the bed.
"Well," said Dr. Rob deliberately, "it is mostly tucked away under a
modest little cap; but, were it not for that wise restraint, I
should say it might be that kind of fluffy, fly-away floss-silk,
which puts the finishing touch to a dainty, pretty woman."
Garth lay back, panting, and pressed his hands over his sightless
face.
"Doctor," he said, "I know I have given you heaps of trouble, and
to-day you must think me a fool. But if you do not wish me to go mad
in my blindness, send that girl away. Do not let her enter my room
again."
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," said Dr. Mackenzie patiently; "let us consider
this thing. We may take it you have nothing against this young lady
excepting a chance resemblance in her voice to that of a friend of
yours now far away. Was not this other lady a pleasant person?"
Garth laughed suddenly, bitterly; a laugh like a hard, sob. "Oh,
yes," he said, "she was quite a pleasant person."
"'Rosemary for remembrance,'" quoted Dr. Rob. "Then why should not
Nurse Rosemary call up a pleasant remembrance? Also it seems to me
to be a kind, sweet, womanly voice, which is something to be
thankful for nowadays, when so many women talk, fit to scare the
crows; cackle, cackle, cackle--like stones rattling in a tin
canister."
"But can't you understand, doctor," said Garth wearily, "that it is
just the remembrance and the resemblance which, in my blindness, I
cannot bear? I have nothing against her voice, Heaven knows! But I
tell you, when I heard it first I thought it was--it was she--the
other--come to me--here--and--" Garth's voice ceased suddenly.
"The pleasant lady?" suggested Dr. Rob. "I see. Well now, Mr.
Dalmain, Sir Deryck said the best thing that could happen would be
if you came to wish for visitors. It appears you have many friends
ready and anxious to come any distance in order to bring you help or
cheer. Why not let me send for this pleasant lady? I make no doubt
she would come. Then when she herself had sat beside you, and talked
with you, the nurse's voice would trouble you no longer."
Garth sat up again, his face wild with protest. Jane turned on the
hearth-rug, and stood watching it.
"No, doctor," he said. "Oh, my God, no! In the whole world, she is
the last person I would have enter this room!"
Dr. Mackenzie bent forward to examine minutely a microscopic darn in
the sheet. "And why?" he asked very low.
"Because," said Garth, "that pleasant lady, as you rightly call her,
has a noble, generous heart, and it might overflow with pity for my
blindness; and pity from her I could not accept. It would be the
last straw upon my heavy cross. I can bear the cross, doctor; I hope
in time to carry it manfully, until God bids me lay it down. But
that last straw--HER pity--would break me. I should fall in the
dark, to rise no more."
"I see," said Dr. Rob gently. "Poor laddie! The pleasant lady must
not come."
He waited silently a few minutes, then pushed back his chair and
stood up.
"Meanwhile," he said, "I must rely on you, Mr. Dalmain, to be
agreeable to Nurse Rosemary Gray, and not to make her task too
difficult. I dare not send her back. She is Dr. Brand's choice.
Besides--think of the cruel blow to her in her profession. Think of
it, man!--sent off at a moment's notice, after spending five minutes
in her patient's room, because, forsooth, her voice maddened him!
Poor child! What a statement to enter on her report! See her appear
before the matron with it! Can't you be generous and unselfish
enough to face whatever trial there may be for you in this bit of a
coincidence?"
Garth hesitated. "Dr. Mackenzie," he said at last, "will you swear
to me that your description of this young lady was accurate in every
detail?"
"'Swear not at all,'" quoted Dr. Rob unctuously. "I had a pious
mother, laddie. Besides I can do better than that. I will let you
into a secret. I was reading from Sir Deryck's letter. I am no
authority on women myself, having always considered dogs and horses
less ensnaring and more companionable creatures. So I would not
trust my own eyes, but preferred to give you Sir Deryck's
description. You will allow him to be a fine judge of women. You
have seen Lady Brand?"
"Seen her? Yes," said Garth eagerly, a slight flush tinting his thin
cheeks, "and more than that, I've painted her. Ah, such a picture!--
standing at a table, the sunlight in her hair, arranging golden
daffodils in an old Venetian vase. Did you see it, doctor, in the
New Gallery, two years ago?"
"No," said Dr. Rob. "I am not finding myself in galleries, new or
old. But"--he turned a swift look of inquiry on Jane, who nodded--
"Nurse Gray was telling me she had seen it."
"Really?" said Garth, interested. "Somehow one does not connect
nurses with picture galleries."
"I don't know why not," said Dr. Rob. "They must go somewhere for
their outings. They can't be everlastingly nosing shop windows in
all weathers; so why not go in and have a look at your pictures?
Besides, Miss Rosemary is a young lady of parts. Sir Deryck assures
me she is a gentlewoman by birth, well-read and intelligent.--Now,
laddie, what is it to be?"
Garth considered silently.
Jane turned away and gripped the mantelpiece. So much hung in the
balance during that quiet minute.
At length Garth spoke, slowly, hesitatingly. "If only I could quite
disassociate the voice from the--from that other personality. If I
could be quite sure that, though her voice is so extraordinarily
like, she herself is not--" he paused, and Jane's heart stood still.
Was a description of herself coming?--"is not at all like the face
and figure which stand clear in my remembrance as associated with
that voice."
"Well," said Dr. Rob, "I'm thinking we can manage that for you.
These nurses know their patients must be humoured. We will call the
young lady back, and she shall kneel down beside your bed--Bless
you! She won't mind, with me to play old Gooseberry!--and you shall
pass your hands over her face and hair, and round her little waist,
and assure yourself, by touch, what an elegant, dainty little person
it is, in a blue frock and white apron."
Garth burst out laughing, and his voice had a tone it had not yet
held. "Of all the preposterous suggestions!" he said. "Good heavens!
What an ass I must have been making of myself! And I begin to think
I have exaggerated the resemblance. In a day or two, I shall cease
to notice it. And, look here, doctor, if she really was interested
in that portrait--Here, I say--where are you going?"
"All right, sir," said Dr. Rob. "I was merely moving a chair over to
the fireside, and taking the liberty of pouring out a glass of
water. Really you are becoming abnormally quick of hearing. Now I am
all attention. What about the portrait?"
"I was only going to say, if she the nurse, you know--is really
interested in my portrait of Lady Brand, there are studies of it up
in the studio, which she might care to see. If she brought them here
and described them to me I could explain--But, I say, doctor. I
can't have dainty young ladies in and out of my room while I'm in
bed. Why shouldn't I get up and try that chair of yours? Send
Simpson along; and tell him to look out my brown lounge-suit and
orange tie. Good heavens! what a blessing to have the MEMORY of
colours and of how they blend! Think of the fellows who are BORN
blind. And please ask Miss Gray to go out in the pine wood, or on
the moor, or use the motor, or rest, or do anything she likes. Tell
her to make herself quite at home; but on no account to come up here
until Simpson reports me ready."
"You may rely on Nurse Gray to be most discreet," said Dr. Rob;
whose voice had suddenly become very husky. "And as for getting up,
laddie, don't go too fast. You will not find your strength equal to
much. But I am bound to tell you there is nothing to keep you in bed
if you feel like rising."
"Good-bye, doctor," said Garth, groping for his hand; "and I am
sorry I shall never be able to offer to paint Mrs. Mackenzie!"
"You'd have to paint her with a shaggy head, four paws, and the
softest amber eyes in the world," said Dr. Rob tenderly; "and,
looking out from those eyes, the most faithful, loving dog-heart in
creation. In all the years we've kept house together she has never
failed to meet me with a welcome, never contradicted me or wanted
the last word, and never worried me for so much as the price of a
bonnet. There's a woman for you!--Well, good-bye, lad, and God
Almighty bless you. And be careful how you go. Do not be surprised
if I look in again on my way back from my rounds to see how you like
that chair."
Dr. Mackenzie held open the door. Jane passed noiselessly out before
him. He followed, signing to her to precede him down the stairs.
In the library, Jane turned and faced him. He put her quietly into a
chair and stood before her. The bright blue eyes were moist, beneath
the shaggy brows.
"My dear," he said, "I feel myself somewhat of a blundering old
fool. You must forgive me. I never contemplated putting you through
such an ordeal. I perfectly understand that, while he hesitated, you
must have felt your whole career at stake. I see you have been
weeping; but you must not take it too much to heart that our patient
made so much of your voice resembling this Miss Champion's. He will
forget all about it in a day or two, and you will be worth more to
him than a dozen Miss Champions. See what good you have done him
already. Here he is wanting to get up and explain his pictures to
you. Never you fear. You will soon win your way, and I shall be able
to report to Sir Deryck what a fine success you have made of the
case. Now I must see the valet and give him very full instructions.
And I recommend you to go for a blow on the moor and get an appetite
for lunch. Only put on something warmer than that. You will have no
sick-room work to do; and having duly impressed me with your
washableness and serviceableness, you may as well wear something
comfortable to protect you from our Highland nip. Have you warmer
clothing with you?"
"It is the rule of our guild to wear uniform," said Jane; "but I
have a grey merino."
"Ah, I see. Well, wear the grey merino. I shall return in two hours
to observe how he stands that move. Now, don't let me keep you."
"Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane quietly, "may I ask why you described me
as fair; and my very straight, heavy, plainly coiled hair, as
fluffy, fly-away floss-silk?"
Dr. Rob had already reached the bell, but at her question he stayed
his hand and, turning, met Jane's steadfast eyes with the shrewd
turquoise gleam of his own.
"Why certainly you may ask, Nurse Rosemary Gray," he said, "though I
wonder you think it necessary to do so. It was of course perfectly
evident to me that, for reasons of his own, Sir Deryck wished to
paint an imaginary portrait of you to the patient, most likely
representing some known ideal of his. As the description was so
different from the reality, I concluded that, to make the portrait
complete, the two touches unfortunately left to me to supply, had
better be as unlike what I saw before me as the rest of the picture.
And now, if you will be good enough--" Dr. Rob rang the bell
violently.
"And why did you take the risk of suggesting that he should feel
me?" persisted Jane.
"Because I knew he was a gentleman," shouted Dr. Rob angrily. "Oh,
come in, Simpson--come in, my good fellow--and shut that door! And
God Almighty be praised that He made you and me MEN, and not women!"
A quarter of an hour later, Jane watched him drive away, thinking to
herself: "Deryck was right. But what a queer mixture of shrewdness
and obtuseness, and how marvellously it worked out to the
furtherance of our plans."
But as she watched the dog-cart start off at a smart trot across the
moor, she would have been more than a little surprised could she
have overheard Dr. Rob's muttered remarks to himself, as he gathered
up the reins and cheered on his sturdy cob. He had a habit of
talking over his experiences, half aloud, as he drove from case to
case; the two sides of his rather complex nature apparently
comparing notes with each other. And the present conversation opened
thus:
"Now what has brought the Honourable Jane up here?" said Dr. Rob.
"Dashed if I know," said Dr. Mackenzie.
"You must not swear, laddie," said Dr. Rob; "you had a pious
mother."
