CHAPTER XXXV
NURSE ROSEMARY HAS HER REWARD
"Mr. Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary, with patient insistence, "I
really do want you to sit down, and give your mind to the tea-table.
How can you remember where each thing is placed, if you keep jumping
up, and moving your chair into different positions? And last time
you pounded the table to attract my attention, which was already
anxiously fixed upon you, you nearly knocked over your own tea, and
sent floods of mine into the saucer. If you cannot behave better, I
shall ask Margery for a pinafore, and sit you up on a high chair!"
Garth stretched his legs in front of him, and his arms over his
head; and lay back in his chair, laughing joyously.
"Then I should have to say: 'Please, Nurse, may I get down?' What a
cheeky little thing you are becoming! And you used to be quite
oppressively polite. I suppose you would answer: 'If you say your
grace nicely, Master Garth, you may.' Do you know the story of
'Tommy, you should say Your Grace'?"
"You have told it to me twice in the last forty-eight hours," said
Nurse Rosemary, patiently.
"Oh, what a pity! I felt so like telling it now. If you had really
been the sort of sympathetic person Sir Deryck described, you would
have said: 'No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!'"
"No; and I should so LOVE to hear it!" said Nurse Rosemary.
"Too late! That sort of thing, to have any value should be
spontaneous. It need not be true; but it MUST be spontaneous. But,
talking of a high chair,--when you say those chaffy things in a
voice like Jane's, and just as Jane would have said them--oh, my
wig!--Do you know, that is the duchess's only original little swear.
All the rest are quotations. And when she says: 'My wig!' we all try
not to look at it. It is usually slightly awry. The toucan tweaks
it. He is so very LOVING, dear bird!"
"Now hand me the buttered toast," said Nurse Rosemary; "and don't
tell me any more naughty stories about the duchess. No! That is the
thin bread-and-butter. I told you you would lose your bearings. The
toast is in a warm plate on your right. Now let us make believe I am
Miss Champion, and hand it to me, as nicely as you will be handing
it to her, this time to-morrow."
"It is easy to make believe you are Jane, with that voice," said
Garth; "and yet--I don't know. I have never really associated you
with her. One little sentence of old Rob's made all the difference
to me. He said you had fluffy floss-silk sort of hair. No one could
ever imagine Jane with fluffy floss-silk sort of hair! And I believe
that one sentence saved the situation. Otherwise, your voice would
have driven me mad, those first days. As it was, I used to wonder
sometimes if I could possibly bear it. You understand why, now;
don't you? And yet, in a way, it is NOT like hers. Hers is deeper;
and she often speaks with a delicious kind of drawl, and uses heaps
of slang; and you are such a very proper little person; and possess
what the primers call 'perfectly correct diction.' What fun it would
be to hear you and Jane talk together! And yet--I don't know. I
should be on thorns, all the time."
"Why?"
"I should be so awfully afraid lest you should not like one another.
You see, YOU have really, in a way, been more to me than any one
else in the world; and SHE--well, she IS my world," said Garth,
simply. "And I should be so afraid lest she should not fully
appreciate you; and you should not quite understand her. She has a
sort of way of standing and looking people up and down, and, women
hate it; especially pretty fluffy little women. They feel she spots
all the things that come off."
"Nothing of mine comes off," murmured Nurse Rosemary, "excepting my
patient, when he will not stay on his chair."
"Once," continued Garth, with the gleeful enjoyment in his voice
which always presaged a story in which Jane figured, "there was a
fearfully silly little woman staying at Overdene, when a lot of us
were there. We never could make out why she was included in one of
the duchess's 'best parties,' except that the dear duchess vastly
enjoyed taking her off, and telling stories about her; and we could
not appreciate the cleverness of the impersonation, unless we had
seen the original. She was rather pretty, in a fussy, curling-tongs,
wax-doll sort of way; but she never could let her appearance alone,
or allow people to forget it. Almost every sentence she spoke, drew
attention to it. We got very sick of it, and asked Jane to make her
shut up. But Jane said: 'It doesn't hurt you, boys; and it pleases
her. Let her be.' Jane was always extra nice to people, if she
suspected they were asked down in order to make sport for the
duchess afterwards. Jane hated that sort of thing. She couldn't say
much to her aunt; but we had to be very careful how we egged the
duchess on, if Jane was within hearing. Well--one evening, after
tea, a little group of us were waiting around the fire in the lower
hall, to talk to Jane. It was Christmas time. The logs looked so
jolly on the hearth. The red velvet curtains were drawn right
across, covering the terrace door and the windows on either side.
Tommy sat on his perch, in the centre of the group, keeping a keen
lookout for cigarette ends. Outside, the world was deep in snow; and
that wonderful silence reigned; making the talk and laughter within
all the more gay by contrast--you know, that PENETRATING silence;
when trees, and fields, and paths, are covered a foot thick in soft
sparkling whiteness. I always look forward, just as eagerly, each
winter to the first sight--ah, I forgot! . . . Fancy never seeing
snow again! . . . Never mind. It is something to remember HAVING
seen it; and I shall hear the wonderful snow-silence more clearly
than ever. Perhaps before other people pull up the blinds, I shall
be able to say: 'There's been a fall of snow in the night.' What was
I telling you? Yes, I remember. About little Mrs. Fussy. Well--all
the women had gone up to dress for dinner; excepting Jane, who never
needed more than half an hour; and Fussy, who was being sprightly,
in a laboured way; and fancied herself the centre of attraction
which kept us congregated in the hall. As a matter of fact, we were
waiting to tell Jane some private news we had just heard about a
young chap in the guards, who was in fearful hot water for ragging.
His colonel was an old friend of Jane's, and we thought she could
put in a word, and improve matters for Billy. So Mrs. Fussy was very
much de trop, and didn't know it. Jane was sitting with her back to
all of us, her feet on the fender, and her skirt turned up over her
knees. Oh, there was another one, underneath; a handsome silk thing,
with rows of little frills,--which you would think should have gone
on outside. But Jane's best things are never paraded; always hidden.
I don't mean clothes, now; but her splendid self. Well--little Fussy
was 'chatting'--she never talked--about herself and her conquests;
quite unconscious that we all wished her at Jericho. Jane went on
reading the evening paper; but she felt the atmosphere growing
restive. Presently--ah, but I must not tell you the rest. I have
just remembered. Jane made us promise never to repeat it. She
thought it detrimental to the other woman. But we just had time for
our confab; and Jane caught the evening post with the letter which
got Billy off scot-free; and yet came down punctually to dinner,
better dressed than any of them. We felt it rather hard luck to have
to promise; because we had each counted on being the first to tell
the story to the duchess. But, you know, you always have to do as
Jane says."
"Why?"
"Oh, I don't know! I can't explain why. If you knew her, you would
not need to ask. Cake, Miss Gray?"
"Thank you. Right, this time."
"There! That is exactly as Jane would have said: 'Right, this time.'
Is it not strange that after having for weeks thought your voice so
like hers, to-morrow I shall be thinking her voice so like yours?"
"Oh, no, you will not," said Nurse Rosemary. "When she is with you,
you will have no thoughts for other people."
"Indeed, but I shall!" cried Garth. "And, dear little Rosemary, I
shall miss you, horribly. No one--not even she--can take your place.
And, do you know," he leaned forward, and a troubled look clouded
the gladness of his face, "I am beginning to feel anxious about it.
She has not seen me since the accident. I am afraid it will give her
a shock. Do you think she will find me much changed?"
Jane looked at the sightless face turned so anxiously toward her.
She remembered that morning in his room, when he thought himself
alone with Dr. Rob; and, leaving the shelter of the wall, sat up to
speak, and she saw his face for the first time. She remembered
turning to the fireplace, so that Dr. Rob should not see the tears
raining down her cheeks. She looked again at Garth--now growing
conscious, for the first time, of his disfigurement; and then, only
for her sake--and an almost overwhelming tenderness gripped her
heart. She glanced at the clock. She could not hold out much longer.
"Is it very bad?" said Garth; and his voice shook.
"I cannot answer for another woman," replied Nurse Rosemary; "but I
should think your face, just as it is, will always be her joy."
Garth flushed; pleased and relieved, but slightly surprised. There
was a quality in Nurse Rosemary's voice, for which he could not
altogether account.
"But then, she will not be accustomed to my blind ways," he
continued. "I am afraid I shall seem so helpless and so blundering.
She has not been in Sightless Land, as you and I have been. She does
not know all our plans of cords, and notches, and things. Ah, little
Rosemary! Promise not to leave me to-morrow. I want Her--only God,
knows how I want her; but I begin to be half afraid. It will be so
wonderful, for the great essentials; but, for the little every-day
happenings, which are so magnified by the darkness, oh, my kind
unseen guide, how I shall need you. At first, I thought it lucky you
had settled to go, just when she is coming; but now, just because
she is coming, I cannot let you go. Having her will be wonderful
beyond words; but it will not be the same as having you."
Nurse Rosemary was receiving her reward, and she appeared to find it
rather overwhelming.
As soon as she could speak, she said, gently: "Don't excite yourself
over it, Mr. Dalmain. Believe me, when you have been with her for
five minutes, you will find it just the same as having me. And how
do you know she has not also been in Sightless Land? A nurse would
do that sort of thing, because she was very keen on her profession,
and on making a success of her case. The woman who loves you would
do it for love of you."
"It would be like her," said Garth; and leaned back, a look of deep
contentment gathering on his face. "Oh, Jane! Jane! She is coming!
She is coming!"
Nurse Rosemary looked at the clock.
"Yes; she is coming," she said; and though her voice was steady, her
hands trembled. "And, as it is our last evening together under quite
the same circumstances as during all these weeks, will you agree to
a plan of mine? I must go upstairs now, and do some packing, and
make a few arrangements. But will you dress early? I will do the
same; and if you could be down in the library by half-past six, we
might have some music before dinner."
"Why certainly," said Garth. "It makes no difference to me at what
time I dress; and I am always ready for music. But, I say: I wish
you were not packing, Miss Gray."
"I am not exactly packing up," replied Nurse Rosemary. "I am packing
things away."
"It is all the same, if it means leaving. But you have promised not
to go until she comes?"
"I will not go--until she comes."
"And you will tell her all the things she ought to know?"
"She shall know all I know, which could add to your comfort."
"And you will not leave me, until I am really--well, getting on all
right?"
"I will never leave you, while you need me," said Nurse Rosemary.
And again Garth detected that peculiar quality in her voice. He
rose, and came towards where he heard her to be standing.
"Do you know, you are no end of a brick," he said, with emotion.
Then he held out both hands towards her. "Put your hands in mine
just for once, little Rosemary. I want to try to thank you."
There was a moment of hesitation. Two strong capable hands--strong
and capable, though, just then, they trembled--nearly went home to
his; but were withdrawn just in time. Jane's hour was not yet. This
was Nurse Rosemary's moment of triumph and success. It should not be
taken from her.
"This evening," she said, softly, "after the music, we will--shake
hands. Now be careful, sir. You are stranded. Wait. Here is the
garden-cord, just to your left. Take a little air on the terrace;
and sing again the lovely song I heard under my window this morning.
And now that you know what it is that is 'going to happen,' this
exquisite May-Day evening will fill you with tender expectation.
Good-bye, sir--for an hour."
"What has come to little Rosemary?" mused Garth, as he felt for his
cane, in its corner by the window. "We could not have gone on
indefinitely quite as we have been, since she came in from the post-
office."
He walked on; a troubled look clouding his face: Suddenly it lifted,
and he stood still, and laughed. "Duffer!" he said. "Oh, what a
conceited duffer! She is thinking of her 'young man.' She is going
to him to-morrow; and her mind is full of him; just as mine is full
of Jane. Dear, good, clever, little Rosemary! I hope he is worthy of
her. No; that he cannot be. I hope he knows he is NOT worthy of her.
That is more to the point. I hope he will receive her as she
expects. Somehow, I hate letting her go to him. Oh, hang the
fellow!--as Tommy would say."
