CHAPTER XVIII
TWO EXPLANATIONS
Accordingly, at a quarter past one on the following day the Colonel
arrived at Seaview, went in to lunch with Mary, and made himself very
amusing and agreeable about the domestic complications of his old
friend, Lady Rawlins and her objectionable husband, and other kindred
topics. Then, adroitly enough, he changed the conversation to the
subject of the great gale, and when he talked of it awhile, said
suddenly:
"I suppose that you have heard of the dreadful thing that happened
here?"
"What dreadful thing?" asked Mary. "I have heard nothing; you must
remember that I have been in a convent where one does not see the
English papers."
"The death of Stella Fregelius," said the Colonel sadly.
"What! the daughter of the new rector--the young lady whom Morris took
off the wreck, and whom I have been longing to ask him about, only I
forgot last night? Do you mean to say that she is dead?"
"Dead as the sea can make her. She was in the old church yonder when
it was swept away, and now lies beneath its ruins in four fathoms of
water."
"How awful!" said Mary. "Tell me about it; how did it happen?"
"Well, through Morris, poor fellow, so far as I can make out, and that
is why he is so dreadfully cut up. You see she helped him to carry on
his experiments with that machine, she sitting in the church and he at
home in the Abbey, with a couple of miles of coast and water between
them. Well, you are a woman of the world, my dear, and you must know
that all this sort of thing means a great deal more intimacy than is
desirable. How far that intimacy went I do not know, and I do not care
to inquire, though for my part I believe that it was a very little way
indeed. Still, Eliza Layard got hold of some cock and bull tale, and
you can guess the rest."
"Perfectly," said Mary in a quiet voice, "if Eliza was concerned in
it; but please go on with the story."
"Well, the gossip came to my ears----"
"Through Eliza?" queried Mary.
"Through Eliza--who said----" and he told her about the incident of
the ulster and the dog-cart, adding that he believed it to be entirely
untrue.
As Mary made no comment he went on: "I forgot to say that Miss
Fregelius seems to have refused to marry Stephen Layard, who fell
violently in love with her, which, to my mind, accounts for some of
this gossip. Still, I thought it my duty, and the best thing I could
do, to give a friendly hint to the old clergyman, Stella's father, a
funny, withered-up old boy by the way. He seems to have spoken to his
daughter rather indiscreetly, whereon she waylaid me as I was walking
on the sands and informed me that she had made up her mind to leave
this place for London, where she intended to earn her own living by
singing and playing on the violin. I must tell you that she played
splendidly, and, in my opinion, had one of the most glorious contralto
voices that I ever heard."
"She seems to have been a very attractive young woman," said Mary, in
the same quiet, contemplative voice.
"I think," went on the Colonel, "take her all in all, she was about
the most attractive young woman that ever I saw, poor thing. Upon my
word, dear, old as I am, I fell half in love with her myself, and so
would you if you had seen those eyes of hers."
"I remember," broke in Mary, "that old Mr. Tomley, after he returned
from inspecting the Northumberland living, spoke about Miss
Fregelius's wonderful eyes--at the dinner-party, you know, on the
night when Morris proposed to me," and she shivered a little as though
she had turned suddenly cold.
"Well, let me go on with my story. After she had told me this, and I
had promised to help her with introductions--exactly why or how I
forget--but I asked her flat out if she was in love with Morris.
Thereon--I assure you, my dear Mary, it was the most painful scene in
all my long experience--the poor thing turned white as a sheet, and
would have fallen if I had not caught hold of her. When she came to
herself a little, she admitted frankly that this was her case, but
added--of which, of course, one may believe as much as one likes, that
she had never known it until I asked the question."
"I think that quite possible," said Mary; "and really, uncle, to me
your cross-examination seems to have been slightly indiscreet."
"Possibly, my dear, very possibly; even Solomon might be excused for
occasionally making a mistake where the mysterious articles which
young ladies call their hearts are concerned. I tell what happened,
that is all. Shall I go on?"
"If you please."
"Well, after this she announced that she meant to see Morris once to
say good-bye to him before she went to London, and left me.
Practically the next thing I heard about her was that she was dead."
"Did she commit suicide?" asked Mary.
"It is said not; it is suggested that after Morris's interview with
her in the Dead Church--for I gather there was an interview though
nobody knows about it, and that's where they met--she fell asleep,
which sounds an odd thing to do in the midst of such a gale as was
raging on Christmas Eve, and so was overwhelmed. But who can say?
Impressionable and unhappy women have done such deeds before now,
especially if they imagine themselves to have become the object of
gossip. Of course, also, the mere possibility of such a thing having
happened on his account would be, and indeed has been, enough to drive
a man like Morris crazy with grief and remorse."
"What had he to be remorseful for?" asked Mary. "If a young woman
chanced to fall in love with him, why should he be blamed, or blame
himself for that? After all, people's affections are in their own
keeping."
"I imagine--very little, if anything. At least, I know this, that when
I spoke to him about the matter after my talk with her, I gathered
from what he said that there was absolutely nothing between them. To
be quite frank, however, as I have tried to be with you, my dear,
throughout this conversation, I also gathered that this young lady had
produced a certain effect upon his mind, or at least that the
knowledge that she had avowed herself to be attached to him--which I
am afraid I let out, for I was in a great rage--produced some such
effect. Well, afterwards I believe, although I have asked no questions
and am not sure of it, he went and said good-bye to her in this
church, at her request. Then this dreadful tragedy happened, and there
is an end of her and her story."
"Have you any object in telling it to me, uncle?"
"Yes, my dear, I have. I wished you to know the real facts before they
reached you in whatever distorted version Morris's fancy or
imagination, or exaggerated candour, may induce him to present them to
you. Also, my dear, even if you find, or think you find that you have
cause of complaint against him, I hope that you will see your way to
being lenient and shutting your eyes a little."
"Severity was never my strong point," interrupted Mary.
"For this reason," went on the Colonel; "the young woman concerned was
a very remarkable person; if you could have heard her sing, for
instance, you would have said so yourself. It is a humiliating
confession, but I doubt whether one young man out of a hundred,
single, engaged, or married, could have resisted being attracted by
her to just such an extent as she pleased, especially if he were
flattered by the knowledge that she was genuinely attracted by
himself."
Mary made no answer.
"Didn't you say you had some documents you wanted me to sign?" she
asked presently.
"Oh, yes; here is the thing," and he pulled a paper out of his pocket;
"the lawyers write that it need not be witnessed."
Mary glanced at it. "Couldn't Morris have brought this?--he is your
co-executor, isn't he?--and saved you the trouble?"
"Undoubtedly he could; but----"
"But what?"
"Well, if you want to know, my dear," said the Colonel, with a grave
countenance, "just now Morris is in a state in which I do not care to
leave more of this important business in his hands than is necessary."
"What am I to understand by that, uncle?" she said, looking at him
shrewdly. "Do you mean that he is--not quite well?"
"Yes, Mary, I mean that--he is not quite well; that is, if my
observation goes for anything. I mean," he went on with quiet
vehemence, "I mean that--just at present, of course, he has been so
upset by this miserable affair that for my part I wouldn't put any
confidence in what he says about it, or about anything else. The thing
has got upon his nerves and rendered him temporarily unfit for the
business of ordinary life. You know that at the best of times he is a
very peculiar man and not quite like other people.
"Well, have you signed that? Thank you, my dear. By Jove! I must be
off; I shall be late as it is. I may rely upon your discretion as to
what we have been talking about, may I not? but I thought it as well
to let you know how the land lay."
"Yes, uncle; and thank you for taking so much trouble."
When the door had closed behind him Mary reflected awhile. Then she
said to herself:
"He thinks Morris is a little off his head, and has come here to warn
me. I should not be surprised, and I daresay that he is right. Any
way, a new trouble has risen up between us, the shadow of another
woman, poor thing. Well, shadows melt, and the dead do not come back.
She seems to have been very charming and clever, and I daresay that
she fascinated him for a while, but with kindness and patience it will
all come right. Only I do hope that he will not insist upon making me
too many confidences."
So thought Mary, who by nature was forgiving, gentle, and an optimist;
not guessing how sorely her patience as an affianced wife, and her
charity as a woman of the world, would be tried within the hour.
From all of which it will be seen that for once the diplomacy of the
Colonel had prospered somewhat beyond its deserts. The departed cannot
explain or defend themselves, and Morris's possible indiscretions
already stood discounted in the only quarter where they might do harm.
Half an hour later Mary, sitting beside the fire with her toes upon
the grate and her face to the window, perceived Morris on the gravel
drive, wearing a preoccupied and rather wretched air. She noted,
moreover, that before he rang the bell he paused for a moment as
though to shake himself together.
"Here you are at last," she said, cheerfully, as he bent down to kiss
her, "seven whole minutes before your time, which is very nice of you.
Now, sit down there and get warm, and we will have a good, long talk."
Morris obeyed. "My father has been lunching with you, has he not?" he
said somewhat nervously.
"Yes, dear, and telling me all the news, and a sad budget it seems to
be; about the dreadful disasters of the great gale and the death of
that poor girl who was staying with you, Miss Fregelius."
At the mention of this name Morris's face contorted itself, as the
face of a man might do who was seized with a sudden pang of sharp and
unexpected agony.
"Mary," he said, in a hoarse and broken voice, "I have a confession to
make to you, and I must make it--about this dead woman, I mean. I will
not sail under false colours; you must know all the truth, and then
judge."
"Dear me," she answered; "this sounds dreadfully tragic. But I may as
well tell you at once that I have already heard some gossip."
"I daresay; but you cannot have heard all the truth, for it was known
only to me and her."
Now, do what she would to prevent it, her alarm showed itself in
Mary's eyes.
"What am I to understand?" she said in a low voice--and she looked a
question.
"Oh, no!" he answered with a faint smile; "nothing at all----"
"Not that you have been embracing her, for instance? That, I
understand, is Eliza Layard's story."
"No, no; I never did such a thing in my life."
A little sigh of relief broke from Mary's lips. At the worst this was
but an affair of sentiment.
"I think, dear" she said in her ordinary slow voice, "that you had
better set out the trouble in your own words, with as few details as
possible, or none at all. Such things are painful, are they not--
especially where the dead are concerned?"
Morris bowed his head and began: "You know I found her on the ship,
singing as she only could sing, and she was a very strange and
beautiful woman--perhaps beautiful is not the word--"
"It will do," interrupted Mary; "at any rate, you thought her
beautiful."
"Then afterwards we grew intimate, very intimate, without knowing it,
almost--indeed, I am not sure that we should ever have known it had it
not been for the mischief-making of Eliza Layard----"
"May she be rewarded," ejaculated Mary.
"Well, and after she--that is, Eliza Layard--had spoken to my father,
he attacked Mr. Fregelius, his daughter, and myself, and it seems that
she confessed to my father that she was--was----"
"In love with you--not altogether unnatural, perhaps, from my point of
view; though, of course, she oughtn't to have been so."
"Yes, and said that she was going away and--on Christmas Eve we met
there in the Dead Church. Then somehow--for I had no intention of such
a thing--all the truth came out, and I found that I was no longer
master of myself, and--God forgive me! and you, Mary, forgive me, too
--that I loved her also."
"And afterwards?" said Mary, moving her skirts a little.
"And afterwards--oh! it will sound strange to you--we made some kind
of compact for the next world, a sort of spiritual marriage; I can
call it nothing else. Then I shook hands with her and went away, and
in a few hours she was dead--dead. But the compact stands, Mary; yes,
that compact stands for ever."
"A compact of a spiritual marriage in a place where there is no
marriage. Do you mean, Morris, that you wish this strange proceeding
to destroy your physical and earthly engagement to myself?"
"No, no; nor did she wish it; she said so. But you must judge. I feel
that I have done you a dreadful wrong, and I was determined that you
should know the worst."
"That was very good of you," Mary said, reflectively, "for really
there is no reason why you should have told me this peculiar story.
Morris, you have been working pretty hard lately, have you not?"
"Yes," he replied, absently, "I suppose I have."
"Was this young lady what is called a mystic?"
"Perhaps. Danish people often are. At any rate, she saw things more
clearly than most. I mean that the future was nearer to her mind; and
in a sense, the past also."
"Indeed. You must have found her a congenial companion. I suppose that
you talked a good deal of these things?"
"Sometimes we did."
"And discovered that your views were curiously alike? For when one
mystic meets another mystic, and the other mystic has beautiful eyes
and sings divinely, the spiritual marriage will follow almost as a
matter of course. What else is to be expected? But I am glad that you
were faithful to your principles, both of you, and clung fast to the
ethereal side of things."
Morris writhed beneath this satire, but finding no convenient answer
to it, made none.
"Do you remember, my dear?" went on Mary, "the conversation we had one
day in your workshop before we were engaged--that's years ago, isn't
it--about star-gazing considered as a fine art?"
"I remember something," he said.
"That I told you, for instance, that it might be better if you paid a
little more attention to matters physical, lest otherwise you should
go on praying for vision till you could see, and for power until you
could create?"
Morris nodded.
"Well, and I think I said--didn't I? that if you insisted upon
following these spiritual exercises, the result might be that they
would return upon you in some concrete shape, and take possession of
you, and lead you into company and surroundings which most of us think
it wholesome to avoid."
"Yes, you said something like that."
"It wasn't a bad bit of prophecy, was it?" went on Mary, rubbing her
chin reflectively, "and you see his Satanic Majesty knew very well how
to bring about its fulfilment. Mystical, lovely, and a wonderful
mistress of music, which you adore; really, one would think that the
bait must have been specially selected."
Crushed though he was, Morris's temper began to rise beneath the lash
of Mary's sarcasm. He knew, however, that it was her method of showing
jealousy and displeasure, both of them perfectly natural, and did his
best to restrain himself.
"I do not quite understand you," he said. "Also, you are unjust to
her."
"Not at all. I daresay that in herself she was what you think her, a
perfect angel; indeed, the descriptions that I have heard from your
father and yourself leave no doubt of it in my mind. But even angels
have been put to bad purposes; perhaps their innocence makes it
possible to take advantage of them----"
He opened his lips to speak, but she held up her hand and went on:
"You mustn't think me unsympathetic because I put things as they
appear to my very mundane mind. Look here, Morris, it just comes to
this: If this exceedingly attractive young lady had made love to you,
or had induced you to make love to her, so that you ran away with her,
or anything else, of course you would have behaved badly and cruelly
to me, but at least your conduct would be natural, and to be
explained. We all know that men do this kind of thing, and women too,
for the matter of that, under the influence of passion--and are often
very sorry for it afterwards. But she didn't do this; she took you on
your weak side, which she understood thoroughly--probably because it
was her own weak side--and out-Heroded Herod, or, rather, out-
mysticised the mystic, finishing up with some spiritual marriage,
which, if it is anything at all, is impious. What right have we to
make bargains for the Beyond, about which we know nothing?"
"She did know something," said Morris, with a sullen conviction.
"You think she did because you were reduced to a state of mind in
which, if she had told you that the sun goes round the earth, you
would quite readily have believed her. My dearest Morris, that way
madness lies. Perhaps you understand now what I have been driving at,
and the best proof of the absurdity of the whole thing is that I,
stupid as I am, from my intimate knowledge of your character since
childhood, was able to predict that something of this sort would
certainly happen to you. You will admit that is a little odd, won't
you?"
"Yes, it's odd; or, perhaps, it shows that you have more of the inner
sight than you know. But there were circumstances about the story
which you would find difficult to explain."
"Not in the least. In your own answer lies the explanation--your
tendency to twist things. I prophesy certain developments from my
knowledge of your character, whereupon you at once credit me with
second sight, which is absurd."
"I don't see the analogy," said Morris.
"Don't you? I do. All this soul business is just a love affair gone
wrong. If circumstances had been a little different--if, for instance,
there had been no Mary Porson--I doubt whether anybody would have
heard much about spiritual marriages. Somehow I think that things
would have settled down into a more usual groove."
Morris did not attempt to answer. He felt that Mary held all the
cards, and, not unnaturally, was in a mood to play them. Moreover, it
was desecration to him to discuss Stella's most secret beliefs with
any other woman, and especially with Mary. Their points of view were
absolutely and radically different. The conflict was a conflict
between the natural and the spiritual law; or, in other words, between
hard, brutal facts and theories as impalpable as the perfume of a
flower, or the sound waves that stirred his aerophone. Moreover, he
could see clearly that Mary's interpretation of this story was simple;
namely, that he had fallen into temptation, and that the shock of his
parting from the lady concerned, followed by her sudden and violent
death, had bred illusions in his mind. In short, that he was slightly
crazy; therefore, to be well scolded, pitied, and looked after rather
than sincerely blamed. The position was scarcely heroic, or one that
any man would choose to fill; still, he felt that it had its
conveniences; that, at any rate, it must be accepted.
"All these questions are very much a matter of opinion," he said; then
added, unconsciously reflecting one of Stella's sayings, "and I
daresay that the truth is for each of us exactly what each of us
imagines it to be."
"I was always taught that the truth is the truth, quite irrespective
of our vague and often silly imaginings; the difficulty being to find
out exactly what it is."
"Perhaps," answered Morris, declining argument which is always useless
between people are are determined not to sympathise with each other's
views. "I knew that you would think my story foolish. I should never
have troubled you with it, had I not felt it to be my duty, for
naturally the telling of such a tale puts a man in a ridiculous
light."
"I don't think you ridiculous, Morris; I think that you are suffering
slightly from shock, that is all. What I say is that I detest all this
spiritual hocus-pocus to which you have always had a leaning. I fear
and hate it instinctively, as some people hate cats, because I know
that it breeds mischief, and that, as I said before, people who go on
trying to see, do see, or fancy that they do. While we are in the
world let the world and its limitations be enough for us. When we go
out of the world, then the supernatural may become the natural, and
cease to be hurtful and alarming."
"Yes," said Morris, "those are very good rules. Well, Mary, I have
told you the history of this sad adventure of which the book is now
closed by death, and I can only say that I am humiliated. If anybody
had said to me six months ago that I should have to come to you with
such a confession, I should have answered that he was a liar. But now
you see----"
"Yes," repeated Mary, "I see."
"Then will you give me your answer? For you must judge; I have told
you that you must judge."
"Judge not, that ye be not judged," answered Mary. "Who am I that I
should pass sentence on your failings? Goodness knows that I have
plenty of my own; if you don't believe me, go and ask the nuns at that
convent. Whatever were the rights and wrongs of it, the thing is
finished and done with, and nobody can be more sorry for that
unfortunate girl than I am. Also I think that you have behaved very
well in coming to tell me about your trouble; but then that is like
you, Morris, for you couldn't be deceitful, however hard you might
try.
"So, dear, with your leave, we will say no more about Stella Fregelius
and her spiritual views. When I engaged myself to you, as I told you
at the time, I did so with my eyes open, for better or for worse, and
unless you tell me right out that you don't want me, I have no
intention of changing my mind, especially as you need looking after,
and are not likely to come across another Stella.
"There, I haven't talked so much for months; I am quite tired, and
wish to forget about all these disagreeables. I am afraid I have
spoken sharply, but if so you must make allowances, for such stories
are apt to sour the sweetest-tempered women--for half an hour. If I
have seemed bitter and cross, dear, it is because I love you better
than any creature in the world, and can't bear to think---- So you
must forgive me. Do you, Morris?"
"Forgive! /I/ forgive!" he stammered overwhelmed.
"There," she said again, very softly, stretching out her arms, "come
and give me a kiss, and let us change the subject once and for ever. I
want to tell you about my poor father; he left some messages for you,
Morris."
