CORDIAL RELATIONS
The other day I paid a call on Miss Dolly Foster for the purpose
of presenting to her my small offering on the occasion of her
marriage to Lord Mickleham. It was a pretty little bit of
jewelry--a pearl heart, broken (rubies played the part of blood)
and held together by a gold pin, set with diamonds, the whole
surmounted by an earl's coronet. I had taken some trouble about
it, and was grateful when Miss Dolly asked me to explain the
symbolism.
"It is my heart," I observed. "The fracture is your making; the
pin--"
Here Miss Dolly interrupted; to tell the truth I was not sorry,
for I was fairly graveled for the meaning of the pin.
"What nonsense, Mr. Carter!" she said; "but it's awfully pretty.
Thanks so very very much. Aren't relations funny people?"
"If you wish to change the subject, pray do," said I. "I'll
change anything except my affections."
"Look here," she pursued, holding out a bundle of letters. "Here
are the congratulatory epistles from relations. Shall I read you
a few?"
"It will be a most agreeable mode of passing the time," said I.
"This is from Aunt Georgiana--she's a widow--lives at Cheltenham.
'My dearest Dorothea--'"
"Who?"
"Dorothea's my name, Mr. Carter. It means the gift of heaven,
you know."
" 'My dearest Dorothea, I have heard the news of your engagement
to Lord Mickleham with deep thankfulness. To obtain the love of
an honest man is a great prize. I hope you will prove worthy of
it. Marriage is a trial and an opportunity--'"
"Hear, hear!" said I. "A trial for the husband and--"
"Be quiet, Mr. Carter. 'A trial and an opportunity. It searches
the heart and affords a sphere of usefulness which--' So she goes
on, you know. I don't see why I need be lectured just because
I'm going to be married, do you, Mr. Carter?"
"Let's try another," said I. "Who's that on pink paper?"
"Oh, that's Georgy Vane. She's awful fun. 'Dear old Dolly,--So
you've brought it off. Hearty congrats. I thought you were
going to be silly and throw away--' There's nothing else there,
Mr. Carter. Look here. Listen to this. It's from Uncle
William. He's a clergyman, you know. 'My dear Niece,--I have
heard with great gratification of your engagement. Your aunt and
I unite in all good wishes. I recollect Lord Mickleham's father
when I had a curacy near Worcester. He was a regular attendant
at church and a supporter of all good works in the diocese. If
only his son takes after him (fancy Archie!) You have secured a
prize. I hope you have a proper sense of the responsibilities
you are undertaking. Marriage affords no small opportunities, it
also entails certain trials--'"
"Why, you're reading Aunt Georgiana again."
"Am I? No, it's Uncle William."
"Then let's try a fresh cast--unless you'll finish Georgy Vane's."
"Well, here's Cousin Susan's. She's an old maid, you know. It's
very long. Here's a bit: 'Woman has it in her power to exercise
a sacred influence. I have not the pleasure of knowing Lord
Mickleham, but I hope, my dear, that you will use your power over
him for good. It is useless for me to deny that when you stayed
with me, I thought you were addicted to frivolity. Doubtless
marriage will sober you. Try to make a good use of its lessons
I am sending you a biscuit tin'--and so on."
"A very proper letter," said I.
Miss Dolly indulged in a slight grimace, and took up another
letter.
"This," she said, "is from my sister-in-law, Mrs. Algernon Foster."
"A daughter of Lord Doldrums, wasn't she?"
"Yes. 'My dear Dorothea,--I have heard your news. I do hope it
will turn out happily. I believe that any woman who
conscientiously does her duty can find happiness in married life.
Her husband and children occupy all her time and all her
thoughts, and if she can look for few of the lighter pleasures of
life, she has at least the knowledge that she is of use in the
world. Please accept the accompanying volumes (it's Browning) as
a small--' I say, Mr. Carter, do you think it's really like
that?"
"There is still time to draw back," I observed.
"Oh, don't be silly. Here, this is my brother Tom's. 'Dear
Dol,--I thought Mickleham rather an ass when I met him, but I
dare say you know best. What's his place like? Does he take a
moor? I thought I read that he kept a yacht. Does he? Give him
my love and a kiss. Good luck, old girl. Tom. P.S.--I'm glad
it's not me, you know.'"
"A disgusting letter," I observed.
"Not at all," said Miss Dolly, dimpling. "It's just like dear
old Tom. Listen to grandpapa's. 'My dear Granddaughter,--The
alliance' (I rather like it's being called an alliance, Mr.
Carter. It sounds like the Royal Family, doesn't it?) 'you are
about to contract is in all respects a suitable one. I send you
my blessing and a small check to help towards your
trousseau.--Yours affectionately, Jno. Wm. Foster.'"
"That," said I, "is the best up to now."
"Yes, it's 500," said she, smiling. "Here's old Lady M.'s."
"Whose?" I exclaimed.
"Archie's mother's, you know. 'My dear Dorothea (as I suppose I
must call you now)--Archibald has informed us of his engagement,
and I and the girls (there are five girls, Mr. Carter) hasten to
welcome his bride. I am sure Archie will make his wife very
happy. He is rather particular (like his dear father), but he
has a good heart, and is not fidgety about his meals. Of course
we shall be delighted to move out of The Towers at once. I hope
we shall see a great deal of you soon. Archie is full of your
praises, and we thoroughly trust his taste. Archie--' It's all
about Archie, you see."
"Naturally," said I.
"Well, I don't know. I suppose I count a little, too. Oh, look
here. Here's Cousin Fred's, but he's always so silly. I shan't
read you his."
"O, just a bit of it," I pleaded.
"Well, here's one bit. 'I suppose I can't murder him, so I must
wish him joy. All I can say is, Dolly, that he's the luckiest
(something I can't read--either fellow or--devil) I ever heard
of. I wonder if you've forgotten that evening--'"
"Well, go on." For she stopped.
"Oh, there's nothing else."
"In fact, you have forgotten the evening?"
"Entirely," said Miss Dolly, tossing her head.
"But he sends me a love of a bracelet. He can't possibly pay for
it, poor boy."
"Young knave!" said I severely. (I had paid for my pearl heart.)
"Then comes a lot from girls. Oh, there's one from Maud
Tottenham--she's a second cousin, you know--it's rather amusing.
'I used to know your FIANCE slightly. He seemed very nice, but
it's a long while ago, and I never saw much of him. I hope he is
really fond of you, and that it is not a mere fancy. Since you
love him so much, it would be a pity if he did not care deeply
for you.'"
"Interpret, Miss Dolly," said I.
"She tried to catch him herself," said Miss Dolly.
"Ah, I see. Is that all?"
"The others aren't very interesting."
"Then let's finish Georgy Vane's."
"Really?" she asked, smiling.
"Yes. Really."
"Oh, if you don;'t mind, I don't," said she, laughing, and she
hunted out the pink note and spread it before her.
"Let me see. Where was I? Oh, here. 'I thought you were going
to be silly and throw away your chances on some of the men who
used to flirt with you. Archie Mickleham may not be a genius,
but he's a good fellow and a swell and rich; and he's not a
pauper, like Phil Meadows, or a snob like Charlie Dawson,
or--' shall I go on, Mr. Carter? No, I won't. I didn't see what
it was."
"Yes, you shall go on."
"O, no, I can't," and she folded up the letter. "Then I will,"
and I'm ashamed to say I snatched the letter. Miss Dolly jumped
to her feet. I fled behind the table. She ran round. I dodged.
"'Or'" I began to read.
"Stop!" cried she.
" 'Or a young spendthrift like that man--I forget his name--who
you used to go on with at such a pace at Monte Carlo last
winter.'"
"Stop!" she cried. "You must stop, Mr. Carter."
So then I stopped. I folded the letter and handed it back to
her. Her cheeks flushed red as she took it.
"I thought you were a gentleman," said she, biting her lip.
"I was at Monte Carlo last winter myself," said I.
"Lord Mickleham," said the butler, throwing open the door.
