CHAPTER VI.
If, in the simplicity of his heart and the crudity of his experience,
Lenny Fairfield had conceived it probable that Mr. Stirn would address to
him some words in approbation of his gallantry and in sympathy for his
bruises, he soon found himself wofully mistaken. That truly great man,
worthy prime minister of Hazeldean, might perhaps pardon a dereliction
from his orders, if such dereliction proved advantageous to the interests
of the service, or redounded to the credit of the chief; but he was
inexorable to that worst of diplomatic offences,--an ill-timed, stupid,
over-zealous obedience to orders, which, if it established the devotion
of the employee, got the employer into what is popularly called a scrape!
And though, by those unversed in the intricacies of the human heart, and
unacquainted with the especial hearts of prime ministers and right-hand
men, it might have seemed natural that Mr. Stirn, as he stood still, hat
in hand, in the middle of the road, stung, humbled, and exasperated by
the mortification he had received from the lips of Randal Leslie, would
have felt that that young gentleman was the proper object of his
resentment, yet such a breach of all the etiquette of diplomatic life as
resentment towards a superior power was the last idea that would have
suggested itself to the profound intellect of the premier of Hazeldean.
Still, as rage, like steam, must escape somewhere, Mr. Stirn, on feeling
--as he afterwards expressed it to his wife--that his "buzzom was a
burstin'," turned with the natural instinct of self-preservation to the
safety-valve provided for the explosion; and the vapours within him
rushed into vent upon Lenny Fairfield. He clapped his hat on his head
fiercely, and thus relieved his "buzzom."
"You young willain! you howdaeious wiper! and so all this blessed Sabbath
afternoon, when you ought to have been in church on your marrow-bones, a
praying for your betters, you has been a fitting with a young gentleman,
and a wisiter to your master, on the wery place of the parridge
hinstitution that you was to guard and pertect; and a bloodying it all
over, I declares, with your blaggard little nose!" Thus saying, and as
if to mend the matter, Mr. Stirn aimed an additional stroke at the
offending member; but Lenny mechanically putting up both arms to defend
his face, Mr. Stirn struck his knuckles against the large brass buttons
that adorned the cuff of the boy's coat-sleeve,--an incident which
considerably aggravated his indignation. And Lenny, whose spirit was
fairly roused at what the narrowness of his education conceived to be a
signal injustice, placing the trunk of the tree between Mr. Stirn and
himself, began that task of self-justification which it was equally
impolitic to conceive and imprudent to execute, since, in such a case,
to justify was to recriminate.
"I wonder at you, Master Stirn,--if Mother could hear you! You know it
was you who would not let me go to church; it was you who told me to--"
"Fit a young gentleman, and break the Sabbath," said Mr. Stirn,
interrupting him with a withering sneer. "Oh, yes! I told you to
disgrace his honour the squire, and me, and the parridge, and bring us
all into trouble. But the squire told me to make an example, and I
will!" With those words, quick as lightning flashed upon Mr. Stirn's
mind the luminous idea of setting Lenny in the very stocks which he had
too faithfully guarded. Eureka! the "example" was before him! Here he
could gratify his long grudge against the pattern boy; here, by such a
selection of the very best lad in the parish, he could strike terror into
the worst; here he could appease the offended dignity of Randal Leslie;
here was a practical apology to the squire for the affront put upon his
young visitor; here, too, there was prompt obedience to the squire's own
wish that the stocks should be provided as soon as possible with a
tenant. Suiting the action to the thought, Mr. Stirn made a rapid plunge
at his victim, caught him by the skirt of his jacket; and in a few
seconds more, the jaws of the stocks had opened, and Lenny Fairfield was
thrust therein,--a sad spectacle of the reverses of fortune. This done,
and while the boy was too astounded, too stupefied, by the suddenness of
the calamity, for the resistance he might otherwise have made,--nay, for
more than a few inaudible words,--Mr. Stirn hurried from the spot, but
not without first picking up and pocketing the half-crown designed for
Lenny, and which, so great had been his first emotions, he had hitherto
even almost forgotten. He then made his way towards the church, with the
intention to place himself close by the door, catch the squire as he came
out, whisper to him what had passed, and lead him, with the whole
congregation at his heels, to gaze upon the sacrifice offered up to the
joint powers of Nemesis and Themis.