HOW ABU HASAN BRAKE WIND.
They recount that in the City Kaukabán of Al-Yaman there was a
man of the Fazlí tribe who had left Badawi life, and become a
townsman for many years and was a merchant of the most opulent
merchants. His wife had deceased when both were young; and his
friends were instant with him to marry again, ever quoting to him
the words of the poet,
"Go, gossip! re-wed thee, for Prime draweth near:
A wife is an almanac--good for the year."
So being weary of contention, Abu Hasan entered into negotiations
with the old women who procure matches, and married a maid like
Canopus when he hangeth over the seas of Al-Hind. He made high
festival therefor, bidding to the wedding banquet kith and kin,
Olema and Fakirs; friends and foes and all his acquaintances of
that countryside. The whole house was thrown open to feasting:
there were rices of five several colours, and sherbets of as many
more; and kids stuffed with walnuts and almonds and pistachios
and a camel colt[FN#192] roasted whole. So they ate and drank and
made mirth and merriment; and the bride was displayed in her
seven dresses and one more, to the women, who could not take
their eyes off her. At last, the bridegroom was summoned to the
chamber where she sat enthroned; and he rose slowly and with
dignity from his divan; but in so doing, for that he was over
full of meat and drink, lo and behold! he let fly a fart, great
and terrible. Thereupon each guest turned to his neighbour and
talked aloud and made as though he had heard nothing, fearing for
his life. But a consuming fire was lit in Abu Hasan's heart; so
he pretended a call of nature; and, in lieu of seeking the bride
chamber, he went down to the house court and saddled his mare and
rode off, weeping bitterly, through the shadow of the night. In
time he reached Láhej where he found a ship ready to sail for
India; so he shipped on board and made Calicut of Malabar. Here
he met with many Arabs, especially Hazramís[FN#193], who
recommended him to the King; and this King (who was a Kafir)
trusted him and advanced him to the captainship of his body
guard. He remained ten years in all solace and delight of life;
at the end of which time he was seized with home sickness; and
the longing to behold his native land was that of a lover pining
for his beloved; and he came near to die of yearning desire. But
his appointed day had not dawned; so, after taking the first bath
of health, he left the King without leave, and in due course
landed at Makallá of Hazramaut. Here he donned the rags of a
religious; and, keeping his name and case secret, fared for
Kaukaban afoot; enduring a thousand hardships of hunger, thirst
and fatigue; and braving a thousand dangers from the lion, the
snake and the Ghul. But when he drew near his old home, he looked
down upon it from the hills with brimming eyes, and said in
himself, "Haply they might know thee; so I will wander about the
outskirts, and hearken to the folk. Allah grant that my case be
not remembered by them!" He listened carefully for seven nights
and seven days, till it so chanced that, as he was sitting at the
door of a hut, he heard the voice of a young girl saying, "O my
mother, tell me the day when I was born; for such an one of my
companions is about to take an omen[FN#194] for me." And the
mother answered, "Thou was born, O my daughter, on the very night
when Abu Hasan farted." Now the listener no sooner heard these
words than he rose up from the bench, and fled away saying to
himself, "Verily thy fart hath become a date, which shall last
for ever and ever; even as the poet said,
'As long as palms shall shift the flower; *
As long as palms shall sift the flour.'[FN#195]
And he ceased not travelling and voyaging and returned to India;
and there abode in self exile till he died; and the mercy of
Allah be upon him![FN#196] And they tell another story of
