THE CAIRENE YOUTH, THE BARBER, AND THE
CAPTAIN.
It is related that in Misr there was a Youth, a Shalabí,[FN#343]
sans peer for semblance and excellence, and he had to friend a
lovely woman whose husband was a Yúzbáshí[FN#344] or captain. Now
whenever that young man or his playmate would fain conjoin, each
with other, union proved almost impossible and yet his heart was
always hanging to her love and she was in similar state and even
more enamoured for that he was passing fair of form and feature.
One day of the days the Captain returned home and said to his
wife, "I am invited to such a place this afternoon, therefore an
thou require aught ask it of me ere I go." Cried they,[FN#345]
"We want nothing save thy safety;" yet were they delighted
therewith, and the youth's friend said, "Alhamdolillah--Glory to
God--this day we will send to a certain person and bring him
hither and we will make merry he and I." As soon as the husband
fared forth his home in order to visit the gardens according to
his invitation, the wife said to a small boy which was an eunuch
beside her, "Ho boy, hie thee to Such-an-one (the Shalabi) and
seek him till thou forgather with him and say to him, 'My lady
salameth to thee and saith, Come to her house at this moment.' "
So the little slave went from his mistress and ceased not wending
to seek the Shalabi (her friend) till he found him in a barber's
booth where at that time it was his design to have his head
shaved and he had ordered the shaver so to do. The man said to
him, "O, my lord, may this our day be blessed!" whereupon he
brought out from his budget a clean towel, and going up to the
Shalabi dispread it all about his breast. Then he took his
turband and hung it to a peg[FN#346] and placing a basin before
him washed his pate, and was about to poll it when behold, the
boy slave passed within softly pacing, and inclining to him
whispered in his ear confidentially between them twain so that
none might overhear them, "My lady So-and-so sendeth thee many
salams and biddeth me let thee know that to-day the coast is
clear, the Captain being invited out to a certain place. Do thou
come to her at once and if thou delay but a little thou mayst not
avail to possess her nor may she possess thee, and if thou be
really minded to forgather with her come with all speed." Hearing
these words of the boy the lover's wits were wildered and he
could not keep patience; no, not for a minute; and he cried to
the Barber, "Dry my head this instant and I will return to thee,
for I am in haste to finish a requirement." With these words he
put his hand into his breast pouch and pulling out an ashrafi
gave it to the Barber, who said in himself, "An he have given me
a gold-piece for wetting his poll, how will it be when I shall
have polled him? Doubtless he will then gift me with half a score
of dinars!" Hereupon the youth went forth from the Barber who
followed him saying, "Allah upon thee, O my lord, when thou shalt
have ended thy business, return to me that I may shave thy scalp
and 'twere better that thou come to the shop." "Right well," said
the youth, "we will presently return to thee," and he continued
walking until he drew near the place of his playmate when
suddenly the Barber caught him up a second time--And Shahrazad
was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to
say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet
is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!"
Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate
to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?" Now
when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-fifth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be
other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short
the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love
and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the
director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting
and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the
youth approached the house of his friends, suddenly the Barber
caught him up hard by thereto and placing himself in front said,
"Allah upon thee, O my lord, do not forget me, but be sure of
return to the shop that I may poll thee." Quoth the youth to him
in his folly, " 'Tis well, O Man, I will certainly come back to
thee and will not forget thy shop." So the lover left him and
ganged his gait and presently went up to the home of his friend,
whilst the Barber stayed expecting him and remained standing at
the door; and of the denseness of the tonsorial wits would not
budge from that place and would await the youth that he might
shave him. Such was the case with them; but as regards the
Yuzbashi, when he went forth from his house bent upon seeking his
friend who had invited him, he found that a serious matter of
business[FN#347] would hinder his giving the entertainment, so
the host said to the Captain, "Allah upon thee, O my lord, pardon
me for I have this day a matter which will prevent my going forth
to the garden and Inshallah--God willing--on the morrow we will
there meet and enjoy ourselves, we and thou, free and with hearts
at rest; for a man who hath work in hand may not take his
pleasure and his thoughts will remain ever preoccupied." Hereupon
quoth the Captain, "Sooth thou hast said, O Such-and-such, and
herein there is naught to excuse of harm or hindrance, and the
day's engagement between us if it be not to-morrow will come
after to-morrow." So he farewelled his host and left him and
returned homewards. Now that Yuzbashi was a man of honour and
sagacity and pluck and spunk and by nature a brave. He ceased not
wending until he had reached his home where he found the Barber
standing at the house door and the fellow came up to him and
said, "Allah upon thee, O my lord, when thou goest within do thou
send me down a handsome youth who went upstairs into this
dwelling." The Yuzbashi turned upon him with a face fiery as
ruddy sparks and cried to him, "What, O Man, dost thou say that
one hath gone up to my house, O pimp, O pander?[FN#348] What
manner of man can enter therein and I absent?" Quoth the Barber,
"By Allah, O my lord, one did go up whilst I stood awaiting him
the while he passed out of my sight; so when thou art abovestairs
do thou send him down to me, saying, 'Thine own Barber awaiteth
thee at the entrance below.' " Now when the Yuzbashi heard these
words, he waxed wroth with exceeding wrath and going up into his
house with haste and hurry knocked at the inner door which
defended the Harem. The inmates heard him and knew that it was
he, and the Youth fell to piddling in his bag-trowsers; but the
woman took him and hid him in the shaft of the cistern[FN#349]
and going forth opened the door to her husband. Cried the
Yuzbashi, "Of a truth, hath any right or reason to say that here
in this house is a man?"[FN#350] and she replied, "Oh, the shame
of me! How ever, O my lord, can there be here a man?''[FN#351] So
the Yuzbashi went about seeking and searching but he came not
upon any; then he went down to the Barber wight and cried, "O
Man, I have found none upstairs save the womenkind;" but the
Barber replied, "By Allah, O my lord, he went up before my eyes
and I am still awaiting him." Then the Captain hurried away a
second time and rummaged about, high and low, and left no place
whereinto he did not pry and spy, yet he came upon no one. He was
perplext at his affair and again going down to the Barber said to
him, "O Man, we have found none." Still the fellow said to him
doggedly, "Withal a man did go within, whilst I who am his
familiar here stand expecting him, and thou sayest forsooth he is
not there, albeit he be abovestairs and after he went in he never
came out until this tide." Hereupon the Captain returned to his
Harem a third time and a fourth time unto the seventh time; but
he found no one; so he was dazed and amazed and the going in and
faring out were longsome to him. All this and the youth concealed
in the cistern shaft lay listening to their dialogue and he said,
"Allah ruin this rascal Barber!" but he was sore afraid and he
quaked with fright lest the Yuzbashi slay him and also slay his
wife. Now after the eighth time the Captain came down to the
Barber and said to him, "An thou saw him enter, up along with me
and seek for him." The man did accordingly, but when the two had
examined every site, they came upon no one; so the Barber was
stupefied and said to himself, "Whoso went up before me and I
looking upon him, whither can he have wended?" Then he fell to
pondering and presently said, "By Allah, verily this is a
wondrous matter that we have not discovered him;" but the
Yuzbashi cried fiercely, "By the life of my head and by Him who
created all creatures and numbered the numberings thereof, an I
find not this fellow needs must I do thee die." The Barber of his
exceeding terror fell to rummaging all the places but it fortuned
that he did not look into the shaft of the cistern; however at
last he said, "There remaineth for us only the cistern shaft ;"--
-And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent,
and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister
Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and
how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this
compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an
the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night
and that was
The Seven Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night,
Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be
other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short
the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love
and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the
director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting
and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Barber
wight, after he and the Captain had finished their search without
finding anyone, said, "There remaineth to us only the cistern
shaft;" so he went and peered therein, but he could not use his
sight overwell. Hereat the Yuzbashi came up behind him and cuffed
him with a mighty cuff upon the neck and laid him prostrate and
insensible at the mouth of the shaft. Now when the woman heard
the Barber saying, "Let us explore the door which openeth upon
the cistern shaft," she feared from the Yuzbashi, so coming up to
him she said, "O my lord, how is it that thou art a Captain and
that thy worth and thy length and thy breadth are on such wise;
withal thou obeyest the word of a fellow Jinn-mad[FN#352] and
sayest that there is a man in thine own house. This is indeed a
reproach to thee." So the Yuzbashi of his stupidity believed her,
and approaching the Barber on the edge of the cistern shaft
cuffed him with a cuff whose excess of violence dazed him and he
fell upon the floor retaining naught of his senses. When the
woman saw this she cried to her husband, "Pinion his elbows at
this moment and suffer me take my due of him by a sound drubbing,
and then let him go." "This is the right rede,"quoth he and after
all was done she cried to her husband, "Come with us above that
we enjoy our pleasure, and Alhamdolillah that thou didst not go
to the place of invitation for I should have been desolate by
thine absence this day." So they ascended and sat together, each
beside other, and they sported and were gladdened and rejoiced;
and after that the Captain lay down and was presently drowned in
slumber. Seeing this the wife arose and repaired to the cistern
shaft wherefrom she released her beloved and finding all his
clothes in a filthy state from the excess of what had befallen
him of affright penetrating into his heart by reason of the
Yuzbashi, she doffed his dress and bringing a bundle of clean
clothing garbed him therein, after which his fear was calmed and
his heart comforted and he was set on the right way. Then she led
him to a private stead, wherein they twain, he and she, took
their joyance and had their pleasure and made merry for the space
of three hours, till such time as each had had fullest will of
other. After this he went forth from her and the Veiler veiled
him. On such wise were the wife's doings; but as regards what
befel the Barber-man, he ceased not to remain strown on the
ground and dazed by the stress of the blow and he abode there
pinioned for a while. About mid-afternoon the Yuzbashi's wife
went to her husband and awaking him from sleep made for him
coffee which he drank and felt cheered; and he knew nothing anent
that his spouse had done with her beloved during the while he
slumbered like unto a he goat. So she said to him, "Rise up and
go we to the man and do thou drub him with the soundest drubbing
and turn him out." Quoth he, "Yes indeed, by Allah, verily he
deserveth this, the pimp! the pander! the procurer!" Accordingly
he went to him and finding him lying upon the ground raised him
and said to him, "Up with thee and let us seek the man whereof
thou spakest." Hereupon the Barber arose and went down into the
cistern shaft where he found none and therewith the Captain laid
the fellow upon his back; and, baring his arms to his elbows,
seized a Nabbút[FN#353] and beat him till he made water in his
bag-trowsers; after which he let him go. So the Barber arose and
he in doleful dumps, and went off from the house and ceased not
wending until he reached his shop about sunset, hardly believing
in his own safety.
