V. The September Chapter
In September the Old Lady looked back on the summer and owned to herself
that it had been a strangely happy one, with Sundays and Sewing Circle
days standing out like golden punctuation marks in a poem of life.
She felt like an utterly different woman; and other people thought
her different also. The Sewing Circle women found her so pleasant,
and even friendly, that they began to think they had misjudged her,
and that perhaps it was eccentricity after all, and not meanness,
which accounted for her peculiar mode of living. Sylvia Gray always
came and talked to her on Circle afternoons now, and the Old Lady
treasured every word she said in her heart and repeated them over
and over to her lonely self in the watches of the night.
Sylvia never talked of herself or her plans, unless asked about them;
and the Old Lady's self-consciousness prevented her from asking any
personal questions: so their conversation kept to the surface of things,
and it was not from Sylvia, but from the minister's wife that the Old Lady
finally discovered what her darling's dearest ambition was.
The minister's wife had dropped in at the old Lloyd place one
evening late in September, when a chilly wind was blowing up
from the northeast and moaning about the eaves of the house,
as if the burden of its lay were "harvest is ended and summer is gone."
The Old Lady had been listening to it, as she plaited a little
basket of sweet grass for Sylvia. She had walked all the way to
Avonlea sand-hills for it the day before, and she was very tired.
And her heart was sad. This summer, which had so enriched her life,
was almost over; and she knew that Sylvia Gray talked of leaving
Spencervale at the end of October. The Old Lady's heart felt
like very lead within her at the thought, and she almost
welcomed the advent of the minister's wife as a distraction,
although she was desperately afraid that the minister's wife
had called to ask for a subscription for the new vestry carpet,
and the Old Lady simply could not afford to give one cent.
But the minister's wife had merely dropped in on her way home
from the Spencers' and she did not make any embarrassing requests.
Instead, she talked about Sylvia Gray, and her words fell on the
Old Lady's ears like separate pearl notes of unutterably sweet music.
The minister's wife had nothing but praise for Sylvia--she was
so sweet and beautiful and winning.
"And with SUCH a voice," said the minister's wife enthusiastically,
adding with a sigh, "It's such a shame she can't have it
properly trained. She would certainly become a great singer--
competent critics have told her so. But she is so poor she
doesn't think she can ever possibly manage it--unless she
can get one of the Cameron scholarships, as they are called;
and she has very little hope of that, although the professor
of music who taught her has sent her name in."
"What are the Cameron scholarships?" asked the Old Lady.
"Well, I suppose you have heard of Andrew Cameron, the millionaire?"
said the minister's wife, serenely unconscious that she was
causing the very bones of the Old Lady's family skeleton to jangle
in their closet.
Into the Old Lady's white face came a sudden faint stain of colour,
as if a rough hand had struck her cheek.
"Yes, I've heard of him," she said.
"Well, it seems that he had a daughter, who was a very
beautiful girl, and whom he idolized. She had a fine voice,
and he was going to send her abroad to have it trained.
And she died. It nearly broke his heart, I understand.
But ever since, he sends one young girl away to Europe every
year for a thorough musical education under the best teachers--
in memory of his daughter. He has sent nine or ten already;
but I fear there isn't much chance for Sylvia Gray, and she
doesn't think there is herself."
"Why not?" asked the Old Lady spiritedly. "I am sure that there
can be few voices equal to Miss Gray's."
"Very true. But you see, these so-called scholarships are
private affairs, dependent solely on the whim and choice of
Andrew Cameron himself. Of course, when a girl has friends who use
their influence with him, he will often send her on their recommendation.
They say he sent a girl last year who hadn't much of a voice at all
just because her father had been an old business crony of his.
But Sylvia doesn't know anyone at all who would, to use a slang term,
have any 'pull' with Andrew Cameron, and she is not acquainted
with him herself. Well, I must be going; we'll see you at the Manse
on Saturday, I hope, Miss Lloyd. The Circle meets there, you know."
"Yes, I know," said the Old Lady absently. When the minister's wife
had gone, she dropped her sweetgrass basket and sat for a long,
long time with her hands lying idly in her lap, and her big black
eyes staring unseeingly at the wall before her.
Old Lady Lloyd, so pitifully poor that she had to eat six crackers
the less a week to pay her fee to the Sewing Circle, knew that it was
in her power--HERS--to send Leslie Gray's daughter to Europe for her
musical education! If she chose to use her "pull" with Andrew Cameron--
if she went to him and asked him to send Sylvia Gray abroad the next year--
she had no doubt whatever that it would be done. It all lay with her--
if--if--IF she could so far crush and conquer her pride as to stoop
to ask a favour of the man who had wronged her and hers so bitterly.
Years ago, her father, acting under the advice and urgency of
Andrew Cameron, had invested all his little fortune in an enterprise
that had turned out a failure. Abraham Lloyd lost every dollar
he possessed, and his family were reduced to utter poverty.
Andrew Cameron might have been forgiven for a mistake;
but there was a strong suspicion, amounting to almost certainty,
that he had been guilty of something far worse than a mistake
in regard to his uncle's investment. Nothing could be
legally proved; but it was certain that Andrew Cameron,
already noted for his "sharp practices," emerged with improved
finances from an entanglement that had ruined many better men;
and old Doctor Lloyd had died brokenhearted, believing that his
nephew had deliberately victimized him.
Andrew Cameron had not quite done this; he had meant well enough
by his uncle at first, and what he had finally done he tried
to justify to himself by the doctrine that a man must look
out for Number One.
Margaret Lloyd made no such excuses for him; she held him responsible,
not only for her lost fortune, but for her father's death,
and never forgave him for it. When Abraham Lloyd had died,
Andrew Cameron, perhaps pricked by his conscience, had come
to her, sleekly and smoothly, to offer her financial aid.
He would see, he told her, that she never suffered want.
Margaret Lloyd flung his offer back in his face after a fashion
that left nothing to be desired in the way of plain speaking.
She would die, she told him passionately, before she would accept
a penny or a favour from him. He had preserved an unbroken
show of good temper, expressed his heartfelt regret that she
should cherish such an unjust opinion of him, and had left
her with an oily assurance that he would always be her friend,
and would always be delighted to render her any assistance
in his power whenever she should choose to ask for it.
The Old Lady had lived for twenty years in the firm conviction
that she would die in the poorhouse--as, indeed, seemed not unlikely--
before she would ask a favour of Andrew Cameron. And so, in truth,
she would have, had it been for herself. But for Sylvia! Could she
so far humble herself for Sylvia's sake?
The question was not easily or speedily settled, as had been
the case in the matters of the grape jug and the book of poems.
For a whole week the Old Lady fought her pride and bitterness.
Sometimes, in the hours of sleepless night, when all human resentments and
rancours seemed petty and contemptible, she thought she had conquered it.
But in the daytime, with the picture of her father looking down at
her from the wall, and the rustle of her unfashionable dresses,
worn because of Andrew Cameron's double dealing, in her ears,
it got the better of her again.
But the Old Lady's love for Sylvia had grown so strong and deep
and tender that no other feeling could endure finally against it.
Love is a great miracle worker; and never had its power been
more strongly made manifest than on the cold, dull autumn
morning when the Old Lady walked to Bright River railway
station and took the train to Charlottetown, bent on an errand
the very thought of which turned her soul sick within her.
The station master who sold her her ticket thought Old Lady Lloyd
looked uncommonly white and peaked--"as if she hadn't slept a wink
or eaten a bite for a week," he told his wife at dinner time.
"Guess there's something wrong in her business affairs.
This is the second time she's gone to town this summer."
When the Old Lady reached the town, she ate her slender little lunch
and then walked out to the suburb where the Cameron factories and
warehouses were. It was a long walk for her, but she could not afford
to drive. She felt very tired when she was shown into the shining,
luxurious office where Andrew Cameron sat at his desk.
After the first startled glance of surprise, he came forward beamingly,
with outstretched hand.
"Why, Cousin Margaret! This is a pleasant surprise. Sit down--allow me,
this is a much more comfortable chair. Did you come in this morning?
And how is everybody out in Spencervale?"
The Old Lady had flushed at his first words. To hear
the name by which her father and mother and lover had called
her on Andrew Cameron's lips seemed like profanation.
But, she told herself, the time was past for squeamishness.
If she could ask a favour of Andrew Cameron, she could bear
lesser pangs. For Sylvia's sake she shook hands with him,
for Sylvia's sake she sat down in the chair he offered.
But for no living human being's sake could this determined
Old Lady infuse any cordiality into her manner or her words.
She went straight to the point with Lloyd simplicity.
"I have come to ask a favour of you," she said, looking him in the eye,
not at all humbly or meekly, as became a suppliant, but challengingly
and defiantly, as if she dared him to refuse.
"DE-lighted to hear it, Cousin Margaret." Never was anything so
bland and gracious as his tone. "Anything I can do for you I shall
be only too pleased to do. I am afraid you have looked upon me as
an enemy, Margaret, and I assure you I have felt your injustice keenly.
I realize that some appearances were against me, but--"
The Old Lady lifted her hand and stemmed his eloquence by
that one gesture.
"I did not come here to discuss that matter," she said.
"We will not refer to the past, if you please. I came to ask a favour,
not for myself, but for a very dear young friend of mine--a Miss Gray,
who has a remarkably fine voice which she wishes to have trained.
She is poor, so I came to ask you if you would give her one
of your musical scholarships. I understand her name has already
been suggested to you, with a recommendation from her teacher.
I do not know what he has said of her voice, but I do know
he could hardly overrate it. If you send her abroad for training,
you will not make any mistake."
The Old Lady stopped talking. She felt sure Andrew Cameron would
grant her request, but she did hope he would grant it rather rudely
or unwillingly. She could accept the favour so much more easily
if it were flung to her like a bone to a dog. But not a bit of it.
Andrew Cameron was suaver than ever. Nothing could give him
greater pleasure than to grant his dear Cousin Margaret's request--
he only wished it involved more trouble on his part.
Her little protege should have her musical education assuredly--
she should go abroad next year--and he was DE-lighted--
"Thank you," said the Old Lady, cutting him short again.
"I am much obliged to you--and I ask you not to let Miss Gray
know anything of my interference. And I shall not take up
any more of your valuable time. Good afternoon."
"Oh, you mustn't go so soon," he said, with some real kindness
or clannishness permeating the hateful cordiality of his voice--
for Andrew Cameron was not entirely without the homely virtues
of the average man. He had been a good husband and father;
he had once been very fond of his Cousin Margaret; and he was
really very sorry that "circumstances" had "compelled" him to act
as he had done in that old affair of her father's investment.
"You must be my guest to-night."
"Thank you. I must return home to-night," said the Old Lady firmly,
and there was that in her tone which told Andrew Cameron
that it would be useless to urge her. But he insisted on
telephoning for his carriage to drive her to the station.
The Old Lady submitted to this, because she was secretly
afraid her own legs would not suffice to carry her there;
she even shook hands with him at parting, and thanked him
a second time for granting her request.
"Not at all," he said. "Please try to think a little more kindly
of me, Cousin Margaret."
When the Old Lady reached the station she found, to her dismay,
that her train had just gone and that she would have to wait two hours
for the evening one. She went into the waiting-room and sat down.
She was very tired. All the excitement that had sustained her was gone,
and she felt weak and old. She had nothing to eat, having expected to get
home in time for tea; the waiting-room was chilly, and she shivered
in her thin, old, silk mantilla. Her head ached and her heart likewise.
She had won Sylvia's desire for her; but Sylvia would go out of her life,
and the Old Lady did not see how she was to go on living after that.
Yet she sat there unflinchingly for two hours, an upright,
indomitable old figure, silently fighting her losing battle with the
forces of physical and mental pain, while happy people came and went,
and laughed and talked before her.
At eight o'clock the Old Lady got off the train at Bright River station,
and slipped off unnoticed into the darkness of the wet night.
She had two miles to walk, and a cold rain was falling.
Soon the Old Lady was wet to the skin and chilled to the marrow.
She felt as if she were walking in a bad dream. Blind instinct alone
guided her over the last mile and up the lane to her own house.
As she fumbled at her door, she realized that a burning heat
had suddenly taken the place of her chilliness. She stumbled
in over her threshold and closed the door.
