XXV. WOLODA'S FRIENDS
Although, when in the society of Woloda's friends, I had to play
a part that hurt my pride, I liked sitting in his room when he
had visitors, and silently watching all they did. The two who
came most frequently to see him were a military adjutant called
Dubkoff and a student named Prince Nechludoff. Dubkoff was a
little dark-haired, highly-strung man who, though short of
stature and no longer in his first youth, had a pleasing and
invariably cheerful air. His was one of those limited natures
which are agreeable through their very limitations; natures
which cannot regard matters from every point of view, but which
are nevertheless attracted by everything. Usually the reasoning
of such persons is false and one-sided, yet always genuine and
taking; wherefore their narrow egotism seems both amiable and
excusable. There were two other reasons why Dubkoff had charms
for Woloda and myself--namely, the fact that he was of military
appearance, and, secondly (and principally), the fact that he was
of a certain age--an age with which young people are apt to
associate that quality of "gentlemanliness" which is so highly
esteemed at their time of life. However, he was in very truth un
homme comme il faut. The only thing which I did not like about it
all was that, in his presence, Woloda always seemed ashamed of my
innocent behaviour, and still more so of my youthfulness. As for
Prince Nechludoff, he was in no way handsome, since neither his
small grey eyes, his low, projecting forehead, nor his
disproportionately long hands and feet could be called good
features. The only good points about him were his unusually tall
stature, his delicate colouring, and his splendid teeth.
Nevertheless, his face was of such an original, energetic
character (owing to his narrow, sparkling eyes and ever-changing
expression--now stern, now childlike, now smiling
indeterminately) that it was impossible to help noticing it. As a
rule he was very shy, and would blush to the ears at the smallest
trifle, but it was a shyness altogether different from mine,
seeing that, the more he blushed, the more determined-looking he
grew, as though he were vexed at his own weakness.
Although he was on very good terms with Woloda and Dubkoff, it
was clearly chance which had united them thus, since their tastes
were entirely dissimilar. Woloda and Dubkoff seemed to be afraid
of anything like serious consideration or emotion, whereas
Nechludoff was beyond all things an enthusiast, and would often,
despite their sarcastic remarks, plunge into dissertations on
philosophical matters or matters of feeling. Again, the two
former liked talking about the fair objects of their adoration
(these were always numerous, and always shared by the friends in
common), whereas Nechludoff invariably grew annoyed when taxed
with his love for a certain red-haired lady.
Again, Woloda and Dubkoff often permitted themselves to criticise
their relatives, and to find amusement in so doing, but
Nechludoff flew into a tremendous rage when on one occasion they
referred to some weak points in the character of an aunt of his
whom he adored. Finally, after supper Woloda and Dubkoff would
usually go off to some place whither Nechludoff would not
accompany them; wherefore they called him "a dainty girl."
The very first time that I ever saw Prince Nechludoff I was
struck with his exterior and conversation. Yet, though I could
discern a great similarity between his disposition and my own (or
perhaps it was because I COULD so discern it), the impression
which he produced upon me at first was anything but agreeable. I
liked neither his quick glance, his hard voice, his proud
bearing, nor (least of all) the utter indifference with which he
treated me. Often, when conversing, I burned to contradict him,
to punish his pride by confuting him, to show him that I was
clever in spite of his disdainful neglect of my presence. But I
was invariably prevented from doing so by my shyness.
