LETTER 4.
LONDON, Sept. 21, 1710.
Here must I begin another letter, on a whole sheet, for fear saucy little MD
should be angry, and think MUCH that the paper is too LITTLE. I had your
letter this night, as told you just and no more in my last; for this must be
taken up in answering yours, saucebox. I believe I told you where I dined to-
day; and to-morrow I go out of town for two days to dine with the same company
on Sunday; Molesworth[1] the Florence Envoy, Stratford, and some others. I
heard to-day that a gentlewoman from Lady Giffard's house had been at the
Coffee-house to inquire for me. It was Stella's mother, I suppose. I shall
send her a penny-post letter[2] to-morrow, and contrive to see her without
hazarding seeing Lady Giffard, which I will not do until she begs my pardon.
22. I dined to-day at Hampstead with Lady Lucy, etc., and when I got home
found a letter from Joe, with one enclosed to Lord Wharton, which I will send
to his Excellency, and second it as well as I can; but to talk of getting the
Queen's order is a jest. Things are in such a combustion here, that I am
advised not to meddle yet in the affair I am upon, which concerns the clergy
of a whole kingdom; and does he think anybody will trouble the Queen about
Joe? We shall, I hope, get a recommendation from the Lord Lieutenant to the
trustees for the linen business, and I hope that will do; and so I will write
to him in a few days, and he must have patience. This is an answer to part of
your letter as well as his. I lied; it is to-morrow I go to the country, and
I won't answer a bit more of your letter yet.
23. Here is such a stir and bustle with this little MD of ours; I must be
writing every night; I can't go to bed without a word to them; I can't put out
my candle till I have bid them good-night: O Lord, O Lord! Well, I dined the
first time to-day, with Will Frankland and his fortune: she is not very
handsome. Did I not say I would go out of town to-day? I hate lying abroad
and clutter; I go tomorrow in Frankland's chariot, and come back at night.
Lady Berkeley has invited me to Berkeley Castle, and Lady Betty Germaine[3] to
Drayton in Northamptonshire; and I'll go to neither. Let me alone, I must
finish my pamphlet. I have sent a long letter to Bickerstaff:[4] let the
Bishop of Clogher smoke[5] it if he can. Well, I'll write to the Bishop of
Killala; but you might have told him how sudden and unexpected my journey was
though. Deuce take Lady S---; and if I know D---y, he is a rawboned-faced
fellow, not handsome, nor visibly so young as you say: she sacrifices two
thousand pounds a year, and keeps only six hundred. Well, you have had all my
land journey in my second letter, and so much for that. So, you have got into
Presto's lodgings; very fine, truly! We have had a fortnight of the most
glorious weather on earth, and still continues: I hope you have made the best
of it. Ballygall[6] will be a pure[7] good place for air, if Mrs. Ashe makes
good her promise. Stella writes like an emperor: I am afraid it hurts your
eyes; take care of that pray, pray, Mrs. Stella. Can't you do what you will
with your own horse? Pray don't let that puppy Parvisol sell him. Patrick is
drunk about three times a week, and I bear it, and he has got the better of
me; but one of these days I will positively turn him off to the wide world,
when none of you are by to intercede for him.--Stuff--how can I get her
husband into the Charter-house? get a ---- into the Charter-house.--Write
constantly! Why, sirrah, don't I write every day, and sometimes twice a day
to MD? Now I have answered all your letter, and the rest must be as it can
be: send me my bill. Tell Mrs. Brent what I say of the Charter-house. I
think this enough for one night; and so farewell till this time to-morrow.
24. To-day I dined six miles out of town at Will Pate's, with Stratford,
Frankland, and the Molesworths,[8] and came home at night, and was weary and
lazy. I can say no more now, but good-night.
25. I was so lazy to-day that I dined at next door,[9] and have sat at home
since six, writing to the Bishop of Clogher, Dean Sterne, and Mr. Manley: the
last, because I am in fear for him about his place, and have sent him my
opinion, what I and his other friends here think he ought to do. I hope he
will take it well. My advice was, to keep as much in favour as possible with
Sir Thomas Frankland, his master here.
26. Smoke how I widen the margin by lying in bed when I write. My bed lies
on the wrong side for me, so that I am forced often to write when I am up.
Manley, you must know, has had people putting in for his place already; and
has been complained of for opening letters. Remember that last Sunday,
September 24, 1710, was as hot as midsummer. This was written in the morning;
it is now night, and Presto in bed. Here's a clutter, I have gotten MD's
second letter, and I must answer it here. I gave the bill to Tooke, and so--
Well, I dined to-day with Sir John Holland the Comptroller, and sat with him
till eight; then came home, and sent my letters, and writ part of a
lampoon,[10] which goes on very slow: and now I am writing to saucy MD; no
wonder, indeed, good boys must write to naughty girls. I have not seen your
mother yet; my penny-post letter, I suppose, miscarried: I will write
another. Mr. S---- came to see me; and said M---- was going to the country
next morning with her husband (who I find is a surly brute); so I could only
desire my service to her.
27. To-day all our company dined at Will Frankland's, with Steele and Addison
too. This is the first rainy day since I came to town; I cannot afford to
answer your letter yet. Morgan,[11] the puppy, writ me a long letter, to
desire I would recommend him for purse-bearer or secretary to the next Lord
Chancellor that would come with the next Governor. I will not answer him; but
beg you will say these words to his father Raymond,[12] or anybody that will
tell him: That Dr. Swift has received his letter; and would be very ready to
serve him, but cannot do it in what he desires, because he has no sort of
interest in the persons to be applied to. These words you may write, and let
Joe, or Mr. Warburton,[13] give them to him: a pox on him! However, it is by
these sort of ways that fools get preferment. I must not end yet, because I
cannot say good-night without losing a line, and then MD would scold; but now,
good-night.
28. I have the finest piece of Brazil tobacco for Dingley that ever was
born.[14] You talk of Leigh; why, he won't be in Dublin these two months: he
goes to the country, then returns to London, to see how the world goes here in
Parliament. Good-night, sirrahs; no, no, not night; I writ this in the
morning, and looking carelessly I thought it had been of last night. I dined
to-day with Mrs. Barton[15] alone at her lodgings; where she told me for
certain, that Lady S---- was with child when she was last in England, and
pretended a tympany, and saw everybody; then disappeared for three weeks, her
tympany was gone, and she looked like a ghost, etc. No wonder she married
when she was so ill at containing. Connolly[16] is out; and Mr. Roberts in
his place, who loses a better here, but was formerly a Commissioner in
Ireland. That employment cost Connolly three thousand pounds to Lord Wharton;
so he has made one ill bargain in his life.
29. I wish MD a merry Michaelmas. I dined with Mr. Addison, and Jervas the
painter, at Addison's country place; and then came home, and writ more to my
lampoon. I made a Tatler since I came: guess which it is, and whether the
Bishop of Clogher smokes it. I saw Mr. Sterne[17] to-day: he will do as you
order, and I will give him chocolate for Stella's health. He goes not these
three weeks. I wish I could send it some other way. So now to your letter,
brave boys. I don't like your way of saving shillings: nothing vexes me but
that it does not make Stella a coward in a coach.[18] I don't think any lady's
advice about my ear signifies twopence: however I will, in compliance to you,
ask Dr. Cockburn. Radcliffe[19] I know not, and Barnard[20] I never see.
Walls will certainly be stingier for seven years, upon pretence of his
robbery. So Stella puns again; why, 'tis well enough; but I'll not second it,
though I could make a dozen: I never thought of a pun since I left Ireland.--
Bishop of Clogher's bill? Why, he paid it to me; do you think I was such a
fool to go without it? As for the four shillings, I will give you a bill on
Parvisol for it on t'other side of this paper; and pray tear off the two
letters I shall write to him and Joe, or let Dingley transcribe and send them;
though that to Parvisol, I believe, he must have my hand for. No, no, I'll
eat no grapes; I ate about six the other day at Sir John Holland's; but would
not give sixpence for a thousand, they are so bad this year. Yes, faith, I
hope in God Presto and MD will be together this time twelvemonth. What then?
Last year I suppose I was at Laracor; but next I hope to eat my Michaelmas
goose at my two little gooses' lodgings. I drink no aile (I suppose you mean
ale); but yet good wine every day, of five and six shillings a bottle. O
Lord, how much Stella writes! pray don't carry that too far, young women, but
be temperate, to hold out. To-morrow I go to Mr. Harley.[21] Why, small hopes
from the Duke of Ormond: he loves me very well, I believe, and would, in my
turn, give me something to make me easy; and I have good interest among his
best friends. But I don't think of anything further than the business I am
upon. You see I writ to Manley before I had your letter, and I fear he will
be out. Yes, Mrs. Owl, Bligh's corpse[22] came to Chester when I was there;
and I told you so in my letter, or forgot it. I lodge in Bury Street, where I
removed a week ago. I have the first floor, a dining-room, and bed-chamber,
at eight shillings a week; plaguy deep, but I spend nothing for eating, never
go to a tavern, and very seldom in a coach; yet after all it will be
expensive. Why do you trouble yourself, Mistress Stella, about my instrument?
I have the same the Archbishop gave me; and it is as good now the bishops are
away. The Dean friendly! the Dean be poxed: a great piece of friendship
indeed, what you heard him tell the Bishop of Clogher; I wonder he had the
face to talk so: but he lent me money, and that's enough. Faith, I would not
send this these four days, only for writing to Joe and Parvisol. Tell the
Dean that when the bishops send me any packets, they must not write to me at
Mr. Steele's; but direct for Mr. Steele, at his office at the Cockpit, and let
the enclosed be directed for me: that mistake cost me eighteenpence the other
day.
30. I dined with Stratford to-day, but am not to see Mr. Harley till
Wednesday: it is late, and I send this before there is occasion for the bell;
because I would have Joe have his letter, and Parvisol too; which you must so
contrive as not to cost them double postage. I can say no more, but that I
am, etc.
