LETTER 6.
LONDON, Oct. 10, 1710.
So, as I told you just now in the letter I sent half an hour ago, I dined with
Mr. Harley to-day, who presented me to the Attorney-General, Sir Simon
Harcourt, with much compliment on all sides, etc. Harley told me he had shown
my memorial to the Queen, and seconded it very heartily; and he desires me to
dine with him again on Sunday, when he promises to settle it with Her Majesty,
before she names a Governor:[1] and I protest I am in hopes it will be done,
all but the forms, by that time; for he loves the Church. This is a popular
thing, and he would not have a Governor share in it; and, besides, I am told
by all hands, he has a mind to gain me over. But in the letter I writ last
post (yesterday) to the Archbishop, I did not tell him a syllable of what Mr.
Harley said to me last night, because he charged me to keep it secret; so I
would not tell it to you, but that, before this goes, I hope the secret will
be over. I am now writing my poetical "Description of a Shower in London,"
and will send it to the Tatler.[2] This is the last sheet of a whole quire I
have written since I came to town. Pray, now it comes into my head, will you,
when you go to Mrs. Walls, contrive to know whether Mrs. Wesley[3] be in town,
and still at her brother's, and how she is in health, and whether she stays in
town. I writ to her from Chester, to know what I should do with her note; and
I believe the poor woman is afraid to write to me: so I must go to my
business, etc.
11. To-day at last I dined with Lord Mountrath,[4] and carried Lord Mountjoy,
and Sir Andrew Fountaine with me; and was looking over them at ombre till
eleven this evening like a fool: they played running ombre half-crowns; and
Sir Andrew Fountaine won eight guineas of Mr. Coote;[5] so I am come home
late, and will say but little to MD this night. I have gotten half a bushel
of coals, and Patrick, the extravagant whelp, had a fire ready for me; but I
picked off the coals before I went to bed. It is a sign London is now an
empty place, when it will not furnish me with matter for above five or six
lines in a day. Did you smoke in my last how I told you the very day and the
place you were playing at ombre? But I interlined and altered a little, after
I had received a letter from Mr. Manley, that said you were at it in his
house, while he was writing to me; but without his help I guessed within one
day. Your town is certainly much more sociable than ours. I have not seen
your mother yet, etc.
12. I dined to-day with Dr. Garth and Mr. Addison, at the Devil Tavern[6] by
Temple Bar, and Garth treated; and 'tis well I dine every day, else I should
be longer making out my letters: for we are yet in a very dull state, only
inquiring every day after new elections, where the Tories carry it among the
new members six to one. Mr. Addison's election[7] has passed easy and
undisputed; and I believe if he had a mind to be chosen king, he would hardly
be refused. An odd accident has happened at Colchester: one Captain
Lavallin,[8] coming from Flanders or Spain, found his wife with child by a
clerk of Doctors' Commons, whose trade, you know, it is to prevent
fornications: and this clerk was the very same fellow that made the discovery
of Dyot's[9] counterfeiting the stamp-paper. Lavallin has been this fortnight
hunting after the clerk, to kill him; but the fellow was constantly employed
at the Treasury, about the discovery he made: the wife had made a shift to
patch up the business, alleging that the clerk had told her her husband was
dead and other excuses; but t'other day somebody told Lavallin his wife had
intrigues before he married her: upon which he goes down in a rage, shoots
his wife through the head, then falls on his sword; and, to make the matter
sure, at the same time discharges a pistol through his own head, and died on
the spot, his wife surviving him about two hours, but in what circumstances of
mind and body is terrible to imagine. I have finished my poem on the
"Shower," all but the beginning; and am going on with my Tatler. They have
fixed about fifty things on me since I came: I have printed but three.[10]
One advantage I get by writing to you daily, or rather you get, is, that I
shall remember not to write the same things twice; and yet, I fear, I have
done it often already: but I will mind and confine myself to the accidents of
the day; and so get you gone to ombre, and be good girls, and save your money,
and be rich against Presto comes, and write to me now and then: I am thinking
it would be a pretty thing to hear sometimes from saucy MD; but do not hurt
your eyes, Stella, I charge you.
13. O Lord, here is but a trifle of my letter written yet; what shall Presto
do for prattle-prattle, to entertain MD? The talk now grows fresher of the
Duke of Ormond for Ireland; though Mr. Addison says he hears it will be in
commission, and Lord Galway[11] one. These letters of mine are a sort of
journal, where matters open by degrees; and, as I tell true or false, you will
find by the event whether my intelligence be good; but I do not care twopence
whether it be or no.--At night. To-day I was all about St. Paul's, and up at
the top like a fool, with Sir Andrew Fountaine and two more; and spent seven
shillings for my dinner like a puppy: this is the second time he has served
me so; but I will never do it again, though all mankind should persuade me,
unconsidering puppies! There is a young fellow here in town we are all fond
of, and about a year or two come from the University, one Harrison,[12] a
little pretty fellow, with a great deal of wit, good sense, and good nature;
has written some mighty pretty things; that in your 6th Miscellanea,[13] about
the Sprig of an Orange, is his: he has nothing to live on but being governor
to one of the Duke of Queensberry's[14] sons for forty pounds a year. The
fine fellows are always inviting him to the tavern, and make him pay his club.
Henley[15] is a great crony of his: they are often at the tavern at six or
seven shillings reckoning, and he always makes the poor lad pay his full
share. A colonel and a lord were at him and me the same way to-night: I
absolutely refused, and made Harrison lag behind, and persuaded him not to go
to them. I tell you this, because I find all rich fellows have that humour of
using all people without any consideration of their fortunes; but I will see
them rot before they shall serve me so. Lord Halifax is always teasing me to
go down to his country house, which will cost me a guinea to his servants, and
twelve shillings coach-hire; and he shall be hanged first. Is not this a
plaguy silly story? But I am vexed at the heart; for I love the young fellow,
and am resolved to stir up people to do something for him: he is a Whig, and
I will put him upon some of my cast Whigs; for I have done with them; and they
have, I hope, done with this kingdom for our time. They were sure of the four
members for London above all places, and they have lost three in the four.[16]
Sir Richard Onslow,[17] we hear, has lost for Surrey; and they are overthrown
in most places. Lookee, gentlewomen, if I write long letters, I must write
you news and stuff, unless I send you my verses; and some I dare not; and
those on the "Shower in London" I have sent to the Tatler, and you may see
them in Ireland. I fancy you will smoke me in the Tatler I am going to write;
for I believe I have told you the hint. I had a letter sent me tonight from
Sir Matthew Dudley, and found it on my table when I came in. Because it is
extraordinary, I will transcribe it from beginning to end. It is as follows:
"Is the Devil in you? Oct. 13, 1710." I would have answered every particular
passage in it, only I wanted time. Here is enough for to-night, such as it
is, etc.
14. Is that tobacco at the top of the paper,[18] or what? I do not remember
I slobbered. Lord, I dreamt of Stella, etc., so confusedly last night, and
that we saw Dean Bolton[19] and Sterne[20] go into a shop: and she bid me
call them to her, and they proved to be two parsons I know not; and I walked
without till she was shifting, and such stuff, mixed with much melancholy and
uneasiness, and things not as they should be, and I know not how: and it is
now an ugly gloomy morning.--At night. Mr. Addison and I dined with Ned
Southwell, and walked in the Park; and at the Coffee-house I found a letter
from the Bishop of Clogher, and a packet from MD. I opened the Bishop's
letter; but put up MD's, and visited a lady just come to town; and am now got
into bed, and going to open your little letter: and God send I may find MD
well, and happy, and merry, and that they love Presto as they do fires. Oh, I
will not open it yet! yes I will! no I will not! I am going; I cannot stay
till I turn over.[21] What shall I do? My fingers itch; and now I have it in
my left hand; and now I will open it this very moment.--I have just got it,
and am cracking the seal, and cannot imagine what is in it; I fear only some
letter from a bishop, and it comes too late; I shall employ nobody's credit
but my own. Well, I see though-- Pshaw, 'tis from Sir Andrew Fountaine.
What, another! I fancy that's from Mrs. Barton;[22] she told me she would
write to me; but she writes a better hand than this: I wish you would
inquire; it must be at Dawson's[23] office at the Castle. I fear this is from
Patty Rolt, by the scrawl. Well, I will read MD's letter. Ah, no; it is from
poor Lady Berkeley, to invite me to Berkeley Castle this winter; and now it
grieves my heart: she says, she hopes my lord is in a fair way of
recovery;[24] poor lady! Well, now I go to MD's letter: faith, it is all
right; I hoped it was wrong. Your letter, N.3, that I have now received, is
dated Sept. 26; and Manley's letter, that I had five days ago, was dated Oct.
3, that's a fortnight difference: I doubt it has lain in Steele's office, and
he forgot. Well, there's an end of that: he is turned out of his place;[25]
and you must desire those who send me packets, to enclose them in a paper
directed to Mr. Addison, at St. James's Coffee-house: not common letters, but
packets: the Bishop of Clogher may mention it to the Archbishop when he sees
him. As for your letter, it makes me mad: slidikins, I have been the best
boy in Christendom, and you come with your two eggs a penny.--Well; but stay,
I will look over my book: adad, I think there was a chasm between my N.2 and
N.3. Faith, I will not promise to write to you every week; but I will write
every night, and when it is full I will send it; that will be once in ten
days, and that will be often enough: and if you begin to take up the way of
writing to Presto, only because it is Tuesday, a Monday bedad it will grow a
task; but write when you have a mind.--No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no--Agad,
agad, agad, agad, agad, agad; no, poor Stellakins.[26] Slids, I would the
horse were in your--chamber! Have not I ordered Parvisol to obey your
directions about him? And han't I said in my former letters that you may
pickle him, and boil him, if you will? What do you trouble me about your
horses for? Have I anything to do with them?--Revolutions a hindrance to me
in my business? Revolutions to me in my business? If it were not for the
revolutions, I could do nothing at all; and now I have all hopes possible,
though one is certain of nothing; but to-morrow I am to have an answer, and am
promised an effectual one. I suppose I have said enough in this and a former
letter how I stand with new people; ten times better than ever I did with the
old; forty times more caressed. I am to dine to-morrow at Mr. Harley's; and
if he continues as he has begun, no man has been ever better treated by
another. What you say about Stella's mother, I have spoken enough to it
already. I believe she is not in town; for I have not yet seen her. My
lampoon is cried up to the skies; but nobody suspects me for it, except Sir
Andrew Fountaine: at least they say nothing of it to me. Did not I tell you
of a great man who received me very coldly?[27] That's he; but say nothing;
'twas only a little revenge. I will remember to bring it over. The Bishop of
Clogher has smoked my Tatler,[28] about shortening of words, etc. But, God
So![29] etc.
15. I will write plainer if I can remember it; for Stella must not spoil her
eyes, and Dingley can't read my hand very well; and I am afraid my letters are
too long: then you must suppose one to be two, and read them at twice. I
dined to-day with Mr. Harley: Mr. Prior[30] dined with us. He has left my
memorial with the Queen, who has consented to give the First-Fruits and
Twentieth Parts,[31] and will, we hope, declare it to-morrow in the Cabinet.
But I beg you to tell it to no person alive; for so I am ordered, till in
public: and I hope to get something of greater value. After dinner came in
Lord Peterborow:[32] we renewed our acquaintance, and he grew mightily fond
of me. They began to talk of a paper of verses called "Sid Hamet." Mr.
Harley repeated part, and then pulled them out, and gave them to a gentleman
at the table to read, though they had all read them often. Lord Peterborow
would let nobody read them but himself: so he did; and Mr. Harley bobbed[33]
me at every line, to take notice of the beauties. Prior rallied Lord
Peterborow for author of them; and Lord Peterborow said he knew them to be
his; and Prior then turned it upon me, and I on him. I am not guessed at all
in town to be the author; yet so it is: but that is a secret only to you.[34]
Ten to one whether you see them in Ireland; yet here they run prodigiously.
Harley presented me to Lord President of Scotland,[35] and Mr. Benson,[36]
Lord of the Treasury. Prior and I came away at nine, and sat at the
Smyrna[37] till eleven, receiving acquaintance.
16. This morning early I went in a chair, and Patrick before it, to Mr.
Harley, to give him another copy of my memorial, as he desired; but he was
full of business, going to the Queen, and I could not see him; but he desired
I would send up the paper, and excused himself upon his hurry. I was a little
baulked; but they tell me it is nothing. I shall judge by next visit. I
tipped his porter with half a crown; and so I am well there for a time at
least. I dined at Stratford's in the City, and had Burgundy and Tokay: came
back afoot like a scoundrel: then went with Mr. Addison and supped with Lord
Mountjoy, which made me sick all night. I forgot that I bought six pounds of
chocolate for Stella, and a little wooden box; and I have a great piece of
Brazil tobacco for Dingley,[38] and a bottle of palsy-water[39] for Stella:
all which, with the two handkerchiefs that Mr. Sterne has bought, and you must
pay him for, will be put in the box, directed to Mrs. Curry's, and sent by Dr.
Hawkshaw,[40] whom I have not seen; but Sterne has undertaken it. The
chocolate is a present, madam, for Stella. Don't read this, you little rogue,
with your little eyes; but give it to Dingley, pray now; and I will write as
plain as the skies: and let Dingley write Stella's part, and Stella dictate
to her, when she apprehends her eyes, etc.
17. This letter should have gone this post, if I had not been taken up with
business, and two nights being late out; so it must stay till Thursday. I
dined to-day with your Mr. Sterne,[41] by invitation, and drank Irish
wine;[42] but, before we parted, there came in the prince of puppies, Colonel
Edgworth;[43] so I went away. This day came out the Tatler, made up wholly of
my "Shower," and a preface to it. They say it is the best thing I ever writ,
and I think so too. I suppose the Bishop of Clogher will show it you. Pray
tell me how you like it. Tooke is going on with my Miscellany.[44] I'd give a
penny the letter to the Bishop of Killaloe[45] was in it: 'twould do him
honour. Could not you contrive to say, you hear they are printing my things
together; and that you with the bookseller had that letter among the rest:
but don't say anything of it as from me. I forget whether it was good or no;
but only having heard it much commended, perhaps it may deserve it. Well, I
have to-morrow to finish this letter in, and then I will send it next day. I
am so vexed that you should write your third to me, when you had but my
second, and I had written five, which now I hope you have all: and so I tell
you, you are saucy, little, pretty, dear rogues, etc.
18. To-day I dined, by invitation, with Stratford and others, at a young
merchant's in the City, with Hermitage and Tokay, and stayed till nine, and am
now come home. And that dog Patrick is abroad, and drinking, and I cannot I
get my night-gown. I have a mind to turn that puppy away: he has been drunk
ten times in three weeks. But I han't time to say more; so good-night, etc.
19. I am come home from dining in the city with Mr. Addison, at a merchant's;
and just now, at the Coffee-house, we have notice that the Duke of Ormond was
this day declared Lord Lieutenant at Hampton Court, in Council. I have not
seen Mr. Harley since; but hope the affair is done about First-Fruits. I will
see him, if possible, to-morrow morning; but this goes to-night. I have sent
a box to Mr. Sterne, to send to you by some friend: I have directed it for
Mr. Curry, at his house; so you have warning when it comes, as I hope it will
soon. The handkerchiefs will be put in some friend's pocket, not to pay
custom. And so here ends my sixth, sent when I had but three of MD's: now I
am beforehand, and will keep so; and God Almighty bless dearest MD, etc.
