LETTER 9.
LONDON, Nov. 11, 1710.
I dined to-day, by invitation, with the Secretary of State, Mr. St. John. Mr.
Harley came in to us before dinner, and made me his excuses for not dining
with us, because he was to receive people who came to propose advancing money
to the Government: there dined with us only Mr. Lewis, and Dr. Freind[1]
(that writ "Lord Peterborow's Actions in Spain"). I stayed with them till
just now between ten and eleven, and was forced again to give my eighth to the
bellman, which I did with my own hands, rather than keep it till next post.
The Secretary used me with all the kindness in the world. Prior came in after
dinner; and, upon an occasion, he (the Secretary) said, "The best thing I ever
read is not yours, but Dr. Swift's on Vanbrugh"; which I do not reckon so very
good neither.[2] But Prior was damped, until I stuffed him with two or three
compliments. I am thinking what a veneration we used to have for Sir William
Temple, because he might have been Secretary of State at fifty; and here is a
young fellow, hardly thirty, in that employment.[3] His father is a man of
pleasure,[4] that walks the Mall, and frequents St. James's Coffee-house, and
the chocolate-houses; and the young son is principal Secretary of State. Is
there not something very odd in that? He told me, among other things, that
Mr. Harley complained he could keep nothing from me, I had the way so much of
getting into him. I knew that was a refinement; and so I told him, and it was
so: indeed, it is hard to see these great men use me like one who was their
betters, and the puppies with you in Ireland hardly regarding me: but there
are some reasons for all this, which I will tell you when we meet. At coming
home, I saw a letter from your mother, in answer to one I sent her two days
ago. It seems she is in town; but cannot come out in a morning, just as you
said; and God knows when I shall be at leisure in an afternoon: for if I
should send her a penny-post letter, and afterwards not be able to meet her,
it would vex me; and, besides, the days are short, and why she cannot come
early in a morning, before she is wanted, I cannot imagine. I will desire her
to let Lady Giffard know that she hears I am in town; and that she would go to
see me, to inquire after you. I wonder she will confine herself so much to
that old beast's humour. You know I cannot in honour see Lady Giffard, and
consequently not go into her house. This I think is enough for the first
time.
12. And how could you write with such thin paper? (I forgot to say this in
my former.) Cannot you get thicker? Why, that's a common caution that
writing-masters give their scholars; you must have heard it a hundred times.
'Tis this:
"If paper be thin,
Ink will slip in;
But, if it be thick,
You may write with a stick."[5]
I had a letter to-day from poor Mrs. Long,[6] giving me an account of her
present life, obscure in a remote country town, and how easy she is under it.
Poor creature! 'tis just such an alteration in life, as if Presto should be
banished from MD, and condemned to converse with Mrs. Raymond. I dined to-day
with Ford, Sir Richard Levinge,[7] etc., at a place where they board, hard by.
I was lazy, and not very well, sitting so long with company yesterday. I have
been very busy writing this evening at home, and had a fire: I am spending my
second half-bushel of coals; and now am in bed, and 'tis late.
13. I dined to-day in the City, and then went to christen Will Frankland's[8]
child; and Lady Falconbridge[9] was one of the godmothers: this is a daughter
of Oliver Cromwell, and extremely like him by his pictures that I have seen.
I stayed till almost eleven, and am now come home and gone to bed. My
business in the City was, to thank Stratford for a kindness he has done me,
which now I will tell you. I found Bank Stock was fallen thirty-four in the
hundred, and was mighty desirous to buy it; but I was a little too late for
the cheapest time, being hindered by business here; for I was so wise to guess
to a day when it would fall. My project was this: I had three hundred pounds
in Ireland; and so I writ to Mr. Stratford in the City, to desire he would buy
me three hundred pounds in Bank Stock, and that he should keep the papers, and
that I would be bound to pay him for them; and, if it should rise or fall, I
would take my chance, and pay him interest in the meantime. I showed my
letter to one or two people who understand those things; and they said money
was so hard to be got here, that no man would do it for me. However,
Stratford, who is the most generous man alive, has done it: but it costs one
hundred pounds and a half, that is, ten shillings; so that three hundred
pounds cost me three hundred pounds and thirty shillings. This was done about
a week ago, and I can have five pounds for my bargain already. Before it
fell, it was one hundred and thirty pounds; and we are sure it will be the
same again. I told you I writ to your mother, to desire that Lady Giffard
would do the same with what she owes you; but she tells your mother she has no
money. I would to God all you had in the world was there. Whenever you lend
money, take this rule, to have two people bound, who have both visible
fortunes; for they will hardly die together; and, when one dies, you fall upon
the other, and make him add another security: and if Rathburn (now I have his
name) pays you in your money, let me know, and I will direct Parvisol
accordingly: however, he shall wait on you and know. So, ladies, enough of
business for one night. Paaaaast twelvvve o'clock. I must only add, that,
after a long fit of rainy weather, it has been fair two or three days, and is
this day grown cold and frosty; so that you must give poor little Presto leave
to have a fire in his chamber morning and evening too; and he will do as much
for you.
14. What, has your Chancellor[10] lost his senses, like Will Crowe?[11] I
forgot to tell Dingley that I was yesterday at Ludgate, bespeaking the
spectacles at the great shop there, and shall have them in a day or two. This
has been an insipid day. I dined with Mrs. Vanhomrigh, and came gravely home,
after just visiting the Coffee-house. Sir Richard Cox,[12] they say, is sure
of going over Lord Chancellor, who is as arrant a puppy as ever ate bread:
but the Duke of Ormond has a natural affection to puppies; which is a thousand
pities, being none himself. I have been amusing myself at home till now, and
in bed bid you good-night.
15. I have been visiting this morning, but nobody was at home, Secretary St.
John, Sir Thomas Hanmer,[13] Sir Chancellor Cox-comb, etc. I attended the
Duke of Ormond with about fifty other Irish gentlemen at Skinners' Hall, where
the Londonderry Society laid out three hundred pounds to treat us and his
Grace with a dinner. Three great tables with the dessert laid in mighty
figure. Sir Richard Levinge and I got discreetly to the head of the second
table, to avoid the crowd at the first: but it was so cold, and so confounded
a noise with the trumpets and hautboys, that I grew weary, and stole away
before the second course came on; so I can give you no account of it, which is
a thousand pities. I called at Ludgate for Dingley's glasses, and shall have
them in a day or two; and I doubt it will cost me thirty shillings for a
microscope, but not without Stella's permission; for I remember she is a
virtuoso. Shall I buy it or no? 'Tis not the great bulky ones, nor the
common little ones, to impale a louse (saving your presence) upon a needle's
point; but of a more exact sort, and clearer to the sight, with all its
equipage in a little trunk that you may carry in your pocket. Tell me,
sirrah, shall I buy it or not for you? I came home straight, etc.
16. I dined to-day in the city with Mr. Manley,[14] who invited Mr. Addison
and me, and some other friends, to his lodging, and entertained us very
handsomely. I returned with Mr. Addison, and loitered till nine in the
Coffee-house, where I am hardly known, by going so seldom. I am here
soliciting for Trounce; you know him: he was gunner in the former yacht, and
would fain be so in the present one if you remember him, a good, lusty, fresh-
coloured fellow. Shall I stay till I get another letter from MD before I
close up this? Mr. Addison and I meet a little seldomer than formerly,
although we are still at bottom as good friends as ever, but differ a little
about party.
17. To-day I went to Lewis at the Secretary's office; where I saw and spoke
to Mr. Harley, who promised, in a few days, to finish the rest of my business.
I reproached him for putting me on the necessity of minding him of it, and
rallied him, etc., which he took very well. I dined to-day with one Mr. Gore,
elder brother to a young merchant of my acquaintance; and Stratford and my
other friend merchants dined with us, where I stayed late, drinking claret and
burgundy; and am just got to bed, and will say no more, but that it now begins
to be time to have a letter from my own little MD; for the last I had above a
fortnight ago, and the date was old too.
18. To-day I dined with Lewis and Prior at an eating-house, but with Lewis's
wine. Lewis went away, and Prior and I sat on, where we complimented one
another for an hour or two upon our mutual wit and poetry. Coming home at
seven, a gentleman unknown stopped me in the Pall Mall, and asked my advice;
said he had been to see the Queen (who was just come to town, and the people
in waiting would not let him see her; that he had two hundred thousand men
ready to serve her in the war; that he knew the Queen perfectly well, and had
an apartment at Court, and if she heard he was there, she would send for him
immediately; that she owed him two hundred thousand pounds, etc., and he
desired my opinion, whether he should go try again whether he could see her;
or because, perhaps, she was weary after her journey, whether he had not
better stay till to-morrow. I had a mind to get rid of my companion, and
begged him of all love to go and wait on her immediately; for that, to my
knowledge, the Queen would admit him; that this was an affair of great
importance, and required despatch: and I instructed him to let me know the
success of his business, and come to the Smyrna Coffee-house, where I would
wait for him till midnight; and so ended this adventure. I would have fain
given the man half a crown; but was afraid to offer it him, lest he should be
offended; for, beside his money, he said he had a thousand pounds a year. I
came home not early; and so, madams both, goodnight, etc.
19. I dined to-day with poor Lord Mountjoy, who is ill of the gout; and this
evening I christened our coffee-man Elliot's[15] child, where the rogue had a
most noble supper, and Steele and I sat among some scurvy company over a bowl
of punch; so that I am come home late, young women, and can't stay to write to
little rogues.
2O. I loitered at home, and dined with Sir Andrew Fountaine at his lodging,
and then came home: a silly day.
21. I was visiting all this morning, and then went to the Secretary's office,
and found Mr. Harley, with whom I dined; and Secretary St. John, etc., and
Harley promised in a very few days to finish what remains of my business.
Prior was of the company, and we all dine at the Secretary's to-morrow. I saw
Stella's mother this morning: she came early, and we talked an hour. I wish
you would propose to Lady Giffard to take the three hundred pounds out of her
hands, and give her common interest for life, and security that you will pay
her: the Bishop of Clogher, or any friend, would be security for you, if you
gave them counter-security; and it may be argued that it will pass better to
be in your hands than hers, in case of mortality, etc. Your mother says, if
you write, she will second it; and you may write to your mother, and then it
will come from her. She tells me Lady Giffard has a mind to see me, by her
discourse; but I told her what to say, with a vengeance. She told Lady
Giffard she was going to see me: she looks extremely well. I am writing[16]
in my bed like a tiger; and so good-night, etc.
22. I dined with Secretary St. John; and Lord Dartmouth, who is t'other
Secretary, dined with us, and Lord Orrery[17] and Prior, etc. Harley called,
but could not dine with us, and would have had me away while I was at dinner;
but I did not like the company he was to have. We stayed till eight, and I
called at the Coffee-house, and looked where the letters lie; but no letter
directed for Mr. Presto: at last I saw a letter to Mr. Addison, and it looked
like a rogue's hand; so I made the fellow give it me, and opened it before
him, and saw three letters all for myself: so, truly, I put them in my
pocket, and came home to my lodging. Well, and so you shall hear: well, and
so I found one of them in Dingley's hand, and t'other in Stella's, and the
third in Domville's.[18] Well, so you shall hear; so, said I to myself, What
now, two letters from MD together? But I thought there was something in the
wind; so I opened one, and I opened t'other; and so you shall hear, one was
from Walls. Well, but t'other was from our own dear MD; yes it was. O faith,
have you received my seventh, young women, already? Then I must send this
to-morrow, else there will be old[19] doings at our house, faith.--Well, I
won't answer your letter in this: no, faith, catch me at that, and I never
saw the like. Well; but as to Walls, tell him (with service to him and wife,
etc.) that I have no imagination of Mr. Pratt's[20] losing his place: and
while Pratt continues, Clements is in no danger; and I have already engaged
Lord Hyde[21] he speaks of, for Pratt and twenty others; but, if such a thing
should happen, I will do what I can. I have above ten businesses of other
people's now on my hands, and, I believe, shall miscarry in half. It is your
sixth I now have received. I writ last post to the Bishop of Clogher again.
Shall I send this to-morrow? Well, I will, to oblige MD. Which would you
rather, a short letter every week, or a long one every fortnight? A long
one; well, it shall be done, and so good-night. Well, but is this a long one?
No, I warrant you: too long for naughty girls.
23. I only ask, have you got both the ten pounds, or only the first; I hope
you mean both. Pray be good housewives; and I beg you to walk when you can,
for health. Have you the horse in town? and do you ever ride him? how often?
Confess. Ahhh, sirrah, have I caught you? Can you contrive to let Mrs.
Fenton[22] know, that the request she has made me in her letter I will use
what credit I have to bring about, although I hear it is very difficult, and I
doubt I shall not succeed? Cox is not to be your Chancellor: all joined
against him. I have been supping with Lord Peterborow at his house, with
Prior, Lewis, and Dr. Freind. 'Tis the ramblingest lying rogue on earth. Dr.
Raymond is come to town: 'tis late, and so I bid you good-night.
24. I tell you, pretty management! Ned Southwell told me the other day he
had a letter from the bishops of Ireland, with an address to the Duke of
Ormond, to intercede with the Queen to take off the First-Fruits. I dined
with him to-day, and saw it, with another letter to him from the Bishop of
Kildare,[23] to call upon me for the papers, etc.; and I had last post one
from the Archbishop of Dublin, telling me the reason of this proceeding; that,
upon hearing the Duke of Ormond was declared Lord Lieutenant, they met; and
the bishops were for this project, and talked coldly of my being solicitor, as
one that was favoured by t'other party, etc., but desired that I would still
solicit.[24] Now the wisdom of this is admirable; for I had given the
Archbishop an account of my reception from Mr. Harley, and how he had spoken
to the Queen, and promised it should be done; but Mr. Harley ordered me to
tell no person alive. Some time after, he gave me leave to let the Primate
and Archbishop know that the Queen had remitted the First-Fruits; and that in
a short time they should have an account of it in form from Lord Dartmouth,
Secretary of State. So while their letter was on the road to the Duke of
Ormond and Southwell, mine was going to them with an account of the thing
being done. I writ a very warm answer[25] to the Archbishop immediately; and
showed my resentments, as I ought, against the bishops; only, in good manners,
excepting himself. I wonder what they will say when they hear the thing is
done. I was yesterday forced to tell Southwell so, that the Queen had done
it, etc.; for he said, my Lord Duke would think of it some months hence, when
he was going for Ireland; and he had it three years in doing formerly, without
any success. I give you free leave to say, on occasion, that it is done; and
that Mr. Harley prevailed on the Queen to do it, etc., as you please. As I
hope to live, I despise the credit of it, out of an excess of pride; and
desire you will not give me the least merit when you talk of it; but I would
vex the bishops, and have it spread that Mr. Harley had done it: pray do so.
Your mother sent me last night a parcel of wax candles, and a bandbox full of
small plumcakes. I thought it had been something for you; and, without
opening them, sent answer by the maid that brought them, that I would take
care to send the things, etc.; but I will write her thanks. Is this a long
letter, sirrahs? Now, are you satisfied? I have had no fit since the
first: I drink brandy every morning, and take pills every night. Never fear,
I an't vexed at this puppy business of the bishops, although I was a little at
first. I will tell you my reward: Mr. Harley will think he has done me a
favour; the Duke of Ormond, perhaps, that I have put a neglect on him; and the
bishops in Ireland, that I have done nothing at all. So goes the world. But
I have got above all this, and, perhaps, I have better reason for it than they
know: and so you shall hear no more of First-Fruits, dukes, Harleys,
archbishops, and Southwells.
I have slipped off Raymond upon some of his countrymen, to show him the town,
etc., and I lend him Patrick. He desires to sit with me in the evenings; upon
which I have given Patrick positive orders that I am not within at evenings.
