LETTER 15.
LONDON, Jan. 31, 1710-11.
I am to send you my fourteenth to-morrow; but my head, having some little
disorders, confounds all my journals. I was early this morning with Mr.
Secretary St. John about some business, so I could not scribble my morning
lines to MD. They are here intending to tax all little printed penny papers a
halfpenny every half-sheet, which will utterly ruin Grub Street, and I am
endeavouring to prevent it.[1] Besides, I was forwarding an impeachment
against a certain great person; that was two of my businesses with the
Secretary, were they not worthy ones? It was Ford's birthday, and I refused
the Secretary, and dined with Ford. We are here in as smart a frost for the
time as I have seen; delicate walking weather, and the Canal and Rosamond's
Pond[2] full of the rabble sliding and with skates, if you know what those
are. Patrick's bird's water freezes in the gallipot, and my hands in bed.
Feb. 1. I was this morning with poor Lady Kerry, who is much worse in her
head than I. She sends me bottles of her bitter; and we are so fond of one
another, because our ailments are the same; don't you know that, Madam Stella?
Han't I seen you conning ailments with Joe's wife,[3] and some others, sirrah?
I walked into the City to dine, because of the walk, for we must take care of
Presto's health, you know, because of poor little MD. But I walked plaguy
carefully, for fear of sliding against my will; but I am very busy.
2. This morning Mr. Ford came to me to walk into the City, where he had
business, and then to buy books at Bateman's; and I laid out one pound five
shillings for a Strabo and Aristophanes, and I have now got books enough to
make me another shelf, and I will have more, or it shall cost me a fall; and
so as we came back, we drank a flask of right French wine at Ben Tooke's
chamber; and when I got home, Mrs. Vanhomrigh sent me word her eldest
daughter[4] was taken suddenly very ill, and desired I would come and see her.
I went, and found it was a silly trick of Mrs. Armstrong,[5] Lady Lucy's
sister, who, with Moll Stanhope, was visiting there: however, I rattled off
the daughter.
3. To-day I went and dined at Lady Lucy's, where you know I have not been
this long time. They are plaguy Whigs, especially the sister Armstrong, the
most insupportable of all women, pretending to wit, without any taste. She
was running down the last Examiner,[6] the prettiest I had read, with a
character of the present Ministry.--I left them at five, and came home. But I
forgot to tell you, that this morning my cousin Dryden Leach, the printer,
came to me with a heavy complaint, that Harrison the new Tatler had turned him
off, and taken the last Tatler's printers again. He vowed revenge; I answered
gravely, and so he left me, and I have ordered Patrick to deny me to him from
henceforth: and at night comes a letter from Harrison, telling me the same
thing, and excused his doing it without my notice, because he would bear all
the blame; and in his Tatler of this day[7] he tells you the story, how he has
taken his old officers, and there is a most humble letter from Morphew and
Lillie to beg his pardon, etc.[8] And lastly, this morning Ford sent me two
letters from the Coffee-house (where I hardly ever go), one from the
Archbishop of Dublin, and t'other from--Who do you think t'other was from?--
I'll tell you, because you are friends; why, then it was, faith, it was from
my own dear little MD, N.10. Oh, but will not answer it now, no, noooooh,
I'll keep it between the two sheets; here it is, just under; oh, I lifted up
the sheet and saw it there: lie still, you shan't be answered yet, little
letter; for I must go to bed, and take care of my head.
4. I avoid going to church yet, for fear of my head, though it has been much
better these last five or six days, since I have taken Lady Kerry's bitter.
Our frost holds like a dragon. I went to Mr. Addison's, and dined with him at
his lodgings; I had not seen him these three weeks, we are grown common
acquaintance; yet what have not I done for his friend Steele? Mr. Harley
reproached me the last time I saw him, that to please me he would be
reconciled to Steele, and had promised and appointed to see him, and that
Steele never came. Harrison, whom Mr. Addison recommended to me, I have
introduced to the Secretary of State, who has promised me to take care of him;
and I have represented Addison himself so to the Ministry, that they think and
talk in his favour, though they hated him before.--Well, he is now in my debt,
and there's an end; and I never had the least obligation to him, and there's
another end. This evening I had a message from Mr. Harley, desiring to know
whether I was alive, and that I would dine with him to-morrow. They dine so
late, that since my head has been wrong I have avoided being with them.--
Patrick has been out of favour these ten days; I talk dry and cross to him,
and have called him "friend" three or four times. But, sirrahs, get you gone.
5. Morning. I am going this morning to see Prior, who dines with me at Mr.
Harley's; so I can't stay fiddling and talking with dear little brats in a
morning, and 'tis still terribly cold.--I wish my cold hand was in the warmest
place about you, young women, I'd give ten guineas upon that account with all
my heart, faith; oh, it starves my thigh; so I'll rise and bid you good-
morrow, my ladies both, good-morrow. Come, stand away, let me rise: Patrick,
take away the candle. Is there a good fire?--So--up-a-dazy.--At night. Mr.
Harley did not sit down till six, and I stayed till eleven; henceforth I will
choose to visit him in the evenings, and dine with him no more if I can help
it. It breaks all my measures, and hurts my health; my head is disorderly,
but not ill, and I hope it will mend.
6. Here has been such a hurry with the Queen's Birthday, so much fine
clothes, and the Court so crowded that I did not go there. All the frost is
gone. It thawed on Sunday, and so continues, yet ice is still on the Canal (I
did not mean that of Laracor, but St. James's Park) and boys sliding on it.
Mr. Ford pressed me to dine with him in his chamber.--Did not I tell you
Patrick has got a bird, a linnet, to carry over to Dingley? It was very tame
at first, and 'tis now the wildest I ever saw. He keeps it in a closet, where
it makes a terrible litter; but I say nothing: I am as tame as a clout. When
must we answer our MD's letter? One of these odd-come-shortlies. This is a
week old, you see, and no farther yet. Mr. Harley desired I would dine with
him again to-day; but I refused him, for I fell out with him yesterday,[9] and
will not see him again till he makes me amends: and so I go to bed.
7. I was this morning early with Mr. Lewis of the Secretary's office, and saw
a letter Mr. Harley had sent to him, desiring to be reconciled; but I was deaf
to all entreaties, and have desired Lewis to go to him, and let him know I
expect further satisfaction. If we let these great Ministers pretend too
much, there will be no governing them. He promises to make me easy, if I will
but come and see him; but I won't, and he shall do it by message, or I will
cast him off. I'll tell you the cause of our quarrel when I see you, and
refer it to yourselves. In that he did something, which he intended for a
favour; and I have taken it quite otherwise, disliking both the thing and the
manner, and it has heartily vexed me, and all I have said is truth, though it
looks like jest; and I absolutely refused to submit to his intended favour,
and expect further satisfaction. Mr. Ford and I dined with Mr. Lewis. We
have a monstrous deal of snow, and it has cost me two shillings to-day in
chair and coach, and walked till I was dirty besides. I know not what it is
now to read or write after I am in bed. The last thing I do up is to write
something to our MD, and then get into bed, and put out my candle, and so go
sleep as fast as ever I can. But in the mornings I do write sometimes in bed,
as you know.
8. Morning. I HAVE DESIRED APRONIA TO BE ALWAYS CAREFUL, ESPECIALLY ABOUT
THE LEGS. Pray, do you see any such great wit in that sentence? I must
freely own that I do not. But party carries everything nowadays, and what a
splutter have I heard about the wit of that saying, repeated with admiration
above a hundred times in half an hour! Pray read it over again this moment,
and consider it. I think the word is ADVISED, and not DESIRED. I should not
have remembered it if I had not heard it so often. Why--ay--You must know I
dreamed it just now, and waked with it in my mouth. Are you bit, or are you
not, sirrahs? I met Mr. Harley in the Court of Requests, and he asked me how
long I had learnt the trick of writing to myself? He had seen your letter
through the glass case at the Coffee-house, and would swear it was my hand;
and Mr. Ford, who took and sent it me, was of the same mind. I remember
others have formerly said so too. I think I was little MD's writing-
master.[10]--But come, what is here to do, writing to young women in a
morning? I have other fish to fry; so good-morrow, my ladies all, good-
morrow. Perhaps I'll answer your letter to-night, perhaps I won't; that's as
saucy little Presto takes the humour.--At night. I walked in the Park to-day
in spite of the weather, as I do always when it does not actually rain. Do
you know what it has gone and done? We had a thaw for three days, then a
monstrous dirt and snow, and now it freezes, like a pot-lid, upon our snow. I
dined with Lady Betty Germaine, the first time since I came for England; and
there did I sit, like a booby, till eight, looking over her and another lady
at piquet, when I had other business enough to do. It was the coldest day I
felt this year.
9. Morning. After I had been abed an hour last night, I was forced to rise
and call to the landlady and maid to have the fire removed in a chimney below
stairs, which made my bed-chamber smoke, though I had no fire in it. I have
been twice served so. I never lay so miserable an hour in my life. Is it not
plaguy vexatious?--It has snowed all night, and rains this morning.--Come,
where's MD's letter? Come, Mrs. Letter, make your appearance. Here am I,
says she, answer me to my face.--O, faith, I am sorry you had my twelfth so
soon; I doubt you will stay longer for the rest. I'm so 'fraid you have got
my fourteenth while I am writing this; and I would always have one letter from
Presto reading, one travelling, and one writing. As for the box, I now
believe it lost. It is directed for Mr. Curry, at his house in Capel Street,
etc. I had a letter yesterday from Dr. Raymond in Chester, who says he sent
his man everywhere, and cannot find it; and God knows whether Mr. Smyth will
have better success. Sterne spoke to him, and I writ to him with the bottle
of palsy-water; that bottle, I hope, will not miscarry: I long to hear you
have it. O, faith, you have too good an opinion of Presto's care. I am
negligent enough of everything but MD, and I should not have trusted Sterne.--
But it shall not go so: I will have one more tug for it.--As to what you say
of Goodman Peasly and Isaac,[11] I answer as I did before. Fie, child, you
must not give yourself the way to believe any such thing: and afterwards,
only for curiosity, you may tell me how these things are approved, and how you
like them; and whether they instruct you in the present course of affairs, and
whether they are printed in your town, or only sent from hence.--Sir Andrew
Fountaine is recovered; so take your sorrow again, but don't keep it, fling it
to the dogs. And does little MD walk indeed?--I'm glad of it at heart.--Yes,
we have done with the plague here: it was very saucy in you to pretend to
have it before your betters. Your intelligence that the story is false about
the officers forced to sell,[12] is admirable. You may see them all three
here every day, no more in the army than you. Twelve shillings for mending
the strong box; that is, for putting a farthing's worth of iron on a hinge,
and gilding it; give him six shillings, and I'll pay it, and never employ him
or his again.--No indeed, I put off preaching as much as I can. I am upon
another foot: nobody doubts here whether I can preach, and you are fools.--
The account you give of that weekly paper[13] agrees with us here. Mr. Prior
was like to be insulted in the street for being supposed the author of it; but
one of the last papers cleared him. Nobody knows who it is, but those few in
the secret, I suppose the Ministry and the printer.--Poor Stella's eyes! God
bless them, and send them better. Pray spare them, and write not above two
lines a day in broad daylight. How does Stella look, Madam Dingley? Pretty
well, a handsome young woman still. Will she pass in a crowd? Will she make
a figure in a country church?--Stay a little, fair ladies. I this minute sent
Patrick to Sterne: he brings back word that your box is very safe with one
Mr. Earl's sister in Chester, and that Colonel Edgworth's widow[14] goes for
Ireland on Monday next, and will receive the box at Chester, and deliver it
you safe: so there are some hopes now.--Well, let us go on to your letter.--
The warrant is passed for the First-Fruits. The Queen does not send a letter;
but a patent will be drawn here, and that will take up time. Mr. Harley of
late has said nothing of presenting me to the Queen: I was overseen[15] when
I mentioned it to you. He has such a weight of affairs on him, that he cannot
mind all; but he talked of it three or four times to me, long before I dropped
it to you. What, is not Mrs. Walls' business over yet? I had hopes she was
up and well, and the child dead before this time.--You did right, at last, to
send me your accompts; but I did not stay for them, I thank you. I hope you
have your bill sent in my last, and there will be eight pounds' interest soon
due from Hawkshaw: pray look at his bond. I hope you are good managers; and
that, when I say so, Stella won't think I intend she should grudge herself
wine. But going to those expensive lodgings requires some fund. I wish you
had stayed till I came over, for some reasons. That Frenchwoman[16] will be
grumbling again in a little time: and if you are invited anywhere to the
country, it will vex you to pay in absence; and the country may be necessary
for poor Stella's health: but do as you like, and do not blame Presto.--Oh,
but you are telling your reasons.--Well, I have read them; do as you please.--
Yes, Raymond says he must stay longer than he thought, because he cannot
settle his affairs. M---- is in the country at some friend's, comes to town
in spring, and then goes to settle in Herefordshire. Her husband is a surly,
ill-natured brute, and cares not she should see anybody. O Lord, see how I
blundered, and left two lines short; it was that ugly score in the paper[17]
that made me mistake.--I believe you lie about the story of the fire, only to
make it more odd. Bernage must go to Spain; and I will see to recommend him
to the Duke of Argyle, his General, when I see the Duke next: but the
officers tell me it would be dishonourable in the last degree for him to sell
now, and he would never be preferred in the army; so that, unless he designs
to leave it for good and all, he must go. Tell him so, and that I would write
if I knew where to direct to him; which I have said fourscore times already.
I had rather anything almost than that you should strain yourselves to send a
letter when it is inconvenient; we have settled that matter already. I'll
write when I can, and so shall MD; and upon occasions extraordinary I will
write, though it be a line; and when we have not letters soon, we agree that
all things are well; and so that's settled for ever, and so hold your tongue.-
-Well, you shall have your pins; but for candles' ends, I cannot promise,
because I burn them to the stumps; besides, I remember what Stella told
Dingley about them many years ago, and she may think the same thing of me.--
And Dingley shall have her hinged spectacles.--Poor dear Stella, how durst you
write those two lines by candlelight? bang your bones! Faith, this letter
shall go to-morrow, I think, and that will be in ten days from the last, young
women; that's too soon of all conscience: but answering yours has filled it
up so quick, and I do not design to use you to three pages in folio, no,
nooooh. All this is one morning's work in bed;--and so good-morrow, little
sirrahs; that's for the rhyme.[18] You want politics: faith, I can't think
of any; but may be at night I may tell you a passage. Come, sit off the bed,
and let me rise, will you?--At night. I dined to-day with my neighbour
Vanhomrigh; it was such dismal weather I could not stir further. I have had
some threatenings with my head, but no fits. I still drink Dr.
Radcliffe's[19] bitter, and will continue it.
10. I was this morning to see the Secretary of State, and have engaged him to
give a memorial from me to the Duke of Argyle in behalf of Bernage. The Duke
is a man that distinguishes people of merit, and I will speak to him myself;
but the Secretary backing it will be very effectual, and I will take care to
have it done to purpose. Pray tell Bernage so, and that I think nothing can
be luckier for him, and that I would have him go by all means. I will order
it that the Duke shall send for him when they are in Spain; or, if he fails,
that he shall receive him kindly when he goes to wait on him. Can I do more?
Is not this a great deal?--I now send away this letter, that you may not
stay.--I dined with Ford upon his Opera-day, and am now come home, and am
going to study; do not you presume to guess, sirrahs, impudent saucy dear
boxes. Towards the end of a letter I could not say saucy boxes without
putting dear between. An't that right now? Farewell. THIS should BE longer,
BUT that _I_ send IT to-night.[20]
O silly, silly loggerhead!
I send a letter this post to one Mr. Staunton, and I direct it to Mr. Acton's
in St. Michael's Lane. He formerly lodged there, but he has not told me where
to direct. Pray send to that Acton, whether[21] the letter is come there, and
whether he has sent it to Staunton.
If Bernage designs to sell his commission and stay at home, pray let him tell
me so, that my recommendation to the Duke of Argyle may not be in vain.
