LETTER 17.
LONDON, Feb. 24, 1710-11.
Now, young women, I gave in my sixteenth this evening. I dined with Ford (it
was his Opera-day) as usual; it is very convenient to me to do so, for coming
home early after a walk in the Park, which now the days will allow. I called
on the Secretary at his office, and he had forgot to give the memorial about
Bernage to the Duke of Argyle; but, two days ago, I met the Duke, who desired
I would give it him myself, which should have more power with him than all the
Ministry together, as he protested solemnly, repeated it two or three times,
and bid me count upon it. So that I verily believe Bernage will be in a very
good way to establish himself. I think I can do no more for him at present,
and there's an end of that; and so get you gone to bed, for it is late.
25. The three weeks are out yesterday since I had your last, and so now I
will be expecting every day a pretty dear letter from my own MD, and hope to
hear that Stella has been much better in her head and eyes: my head continues
as it was, no fits, but a little disorder every day, which I can easily bear,
if it will not grow worse. I dined to-day with Mr. Secretary St. John, on
condition I might choose my company, which were Lord Rivers, Lord Carteret,
Sir Thomas Mansel,[1] and Mr. Lewis; I invited Masham, Hill, Sir John Stanley,
and George Granville, but they were engaged; and I did it in revenge of his
having such bad company when I dined with him before; so we laughed, etc. And
I ventured to go to church to-day, which I have not done this month before.
Can you send me such a good account of Stella's health, pray now? Yes, I
hope, and better too. We dined (says you) at the Dean's, and played at cards
till twelve, and there came in Mr. French, and Dr. Travors, and Dr.
Whittingham, and Mr. (I forget his name, that I always tell Mrs. Walls of) the
banker's son, a pox on him. And we were so merry; I vow they are pure good
company. But I lost a crown; for you must know I had always hands tempting me
to go out, but never took in anything, and often two black aces without a
manilio; was not that hard, Presto? Hold your tongue, etc.
26. I was this morning with Mr. Secretary about some business, and he tells
me that Colonel Fielding is now going to make Bernage his captain-lieutenant,
that is, a captain by commission, and the perquisites of the company; but not
captain's pay, only the first step to it. I suppose he will like it; and the
recommendation to the Duke of Argyle goes on. And so trouble me no more about
your Bernage; the jackanapes understands what fair solicitors he has got, I
warrant you. Sir Andrew Fountaine and I dined, by invitation, with Mrs.
Vanhomrigh. You say they are of no consequence: why, they keep as good
female company as I do male; I see all the drabs of quality at this end of the
town with them: I saw two Lady Bettys[2] there this afternoon; the beauty of
one, the good-breeding and nature of t'other, and the wit of neither, would
have made a fine woman. Rare walking in the Park now: why don't you walk in
the Green of St. Stephen? The walks there are finer gravelled than the Mall.
What beasts the Irish women are, never to walk!
27. Darteneuf and I, and little Harrison the new Tatler, and Jervas the
painter, dined to-day with James,[3] I know not his other name, but it is one
of Darteneuf's dining-places, who is a true epicure. James is clerk of the
kitchen to the Queen, and has a little snug house at St. James's; and we had
the Queen's wine, and such very fine victuals that I could not eat it. Three
weeks and three days since my last letter from MD; rare doings! why, truly we
were so busy with poor Mrs. Walls, that indeed, Presto, we could not write, we
were afraid the poor woman would have died; and it pitied us to see the
Archdeacon, how concerned he was. The Dean never came to see her but once;
but now she is up again, and we go and sit with her in the evenings. The
child died the next day after it was born; and I believe, between friends, she
is not very sorry for it.--Indeed, Presto, you are plaguy silly tonight, and
han't guessed one word right; for she and the child are both well, and it is a
fine girl, likely to live; and the Dean was godfather, and Mrs. Catherine and
I were godmothers; I was going to say Stoyte, but I think I have heard they
don't put maids and married women together; though I know not why I think so,
nor I don't care; what care I? but I must prate, etc.
28. I walked to-day into the City for my health, and there dined; which I
always do when the weather is fair, and business permits, that I may be under
a necessity of taking a good walk, which is the best thing I can do at present
for my health. Some bookseller has raked up everything I writ, and published
it t'other day in one volume; but I know nothing of it, 'twas without my
knowledge or consent: it makes a four-shilling book, and is called
Miscellanies in Prose and Verse.[4] Tooke pretends he knows nothing of it;
but I doubt he is at the bottom. One must have patience with these things;
the best of it is, I shall be plagued no more. However, I will bring a couple
of them over with me for MD; perhaps you may desire to see them. I hear they
sell mightily.
March 1. Morning. I have been calling to Patrick to look in his almanac for
the day of the month; I did not know but it might be leap-year. The almanac
says 'tis the third after leap-year; and I always thought till now, that every
third year was leap-year. I am glad they come so seldom; but I'm sure 'twas
otherwise when I was a young man; I see times are mightily changed since
then.--Write to me, sirrahs; be sure do by the time this side is done, and
I'll keep t'other side for the answer: so I'll go write to the Bishop of
Clogher; good-morrow, sirrahs.--Night. I dined to-day at Mrs. Vanhomrigh's,
being a rainy day; and Lady Betty Butler, knowing it, sent to let me know she
expected my company in the evening, where the Vans (so we call them) were to
be. The Duchess[5] and they do not go over this summer with the Duke; so I go
to bed.
2. This rainy weather undoes me in coaches and chairs. I was traipsing to-
day with your Mr. Sterne, to go along with them to Moore,[6] and recommend his
business to the Treasury. Sterne tells me his dependence is wholly on me; but
I have absolutely refused to recommend it to Mr. Harley, because I have
troubled him lately so much with other folks' affairs; and besides, to tell
the truth, Mr. Harley told me he did not like Sterne's business: however, I
will serve him, because I suppose MD would have me. But, in saying his
dependence lies wholly on me, he lies, and is a fool. I dined with Lord
Abercorn, whose son Peasley[7] will be married at Easter to ten thousand
pounds.
3. I forgot to tell you that yesterday morning I was at Mr. Harley's levee:
he swore I came in spite, to see him among a parcel of fools. My business was
to desire I might let the Duke of Ormond know how the affair stood of the
First-Fruits. He promised to let him know it, and engaged me to dine with him
to-day. Every Saturday, Lord Keeper, Secretary St. John, and I dine with him,
and sometimes Lord Rivers; and they let in none else. Patrick brought me some
letters into the Park; among which one was from Walls; and t'other, yes,
faith, t'other was from our little MD, N.11. I read the rest in the Park, and
MD's in a chair as I went from St. James's to Mr. Harley; and glad enough I
was, faith, to read it, and see all right. Oh, but I won't answer it these
three or four days at least, or may be sooner. An't I silly? faith, your
letters would make a dog silly, if I had a dog to be silly, but it must be a
little dog.--I stayed with Mr. Harley till past nine, where we had much
discourse together after the rest were gone; and I gave him very truly my
opinion where he desired it. He complained he was not very well, and has
engaged me to dine with him again on Monday. So I came home afoot, like a
fine gentleman, to tell you all this.
4. I dined to-day with Mr. Secretary St. John; and after dinner he had a note
from Mr. Harley, that he was much out of order.[8] Pray God preserve his
health! everything depends upon it. The Parliament at present cannot go a
step without him, nor the Queen neither. I long to be in Ireland; but the
Ministry beg me to stay: however, when this Parliament lurry[9] is over, I
will endeavour to steal away; by which time I hope the First-Fruit business
will be done. This kingdom is certainly ruined as much as was ever any
bankrupt merchant. We must have peace, let it be a bad or a good one, though
nobody dares talk of it. The nearer I look upon things, the worse I like
them. I believe the confederacy will soon break to pieces, and our factions
at home increase. The Ministry is upon a very narrow bottom, and stand like
an isthmus, between the Whigs on one side, and violent Tories on the other.
They are able seamen; but the tempest is too great, the ship too rotten, and
the crew all against them. Lord Somers has been twice in the Queen's closet,
once very lately; and your Duchess of Somerset,[10] who now has the key, is a
most insinuating woman; and I believe they will endeavour to play the same
game that has been played against them.--I have told them of all this, which
they know already, but they cannot help it. They have cautioned the Queen so
much against being governed, that she observes it too much. I could talk till
to-morrow upon these things, but they make me melancholy. I could not but
observe that lately, after much conversation with Mr. Harley, though he is the
most fearless man alive, and the least apt to despond, he confessed to me that
uttering his mind to me gave him ease.
5. Mr. Harley continues out of order, yet his affairs force him abroad: he
is subject to a sore throat, and was cupped last night: I sent and called two
or three times. I hear he is better this evening. I dined to-day in the City
with Dr. Freind at a third body's house, where I was to pass for somebody
else; and there was a plaguy silly jest carried on, that made me sick of it.
Our weather grows fine, and I will walk like camomile. And pray walk you to
your Dean's, or your Stoyte's, or your Manley's, or your Walls'. But your new
lodgings make you so proud, you will walk less than ever. Come, let me go to
bed, sirrahs.
6. Mr. Harley's going out yesterday has put him a little backwards. I called
twice, and sent, for I am in pain for him. Ford caught me, and made me dine
with him on his Opera-day; so I brought Mr. Lewis with me, and sat with him
till six. I have not seen Mr. Addison these three weeks; all our friendship
is over. I go to no Coffee-house. I presented a parson of the Bishop of
Clogher's, one Richardson,[11] to the Duke of Ormond to-day: he is
translating prayers and sermons into Irish, and has a project about
instructing the Irish in the Protestant religion.
7. Morning. Faith, a little would make me, I could find in my heart, if it
were not for one thing, I have a good mind, if I had not something else to do,
I would answer your dear saucy letter. O, Lord, I am going awry with writing
in bed. O, faith, but I must answer it, or I shan't have room, for it must go
on Saturday; and don't think I will fill the third side, I an't come to that
yet, young women. Well then, as for your Bernage, I have said enough: I writ
to him last week.--Turn over that leaf. Now, what says MD to the world to
come? I tell you, Madam Stella, my head is a great deal better, and I hope
will keep so. How came yours to be fifteen days coming, and you had my
fifteenth in seven? Answer me that, rogues. Your being with Goody Walls is
excuse enough: I find I was mistaken in the sex, 'tis a boy.[12] Yes, I
understand your cypher, and Stella guesses right, as she always does. He[13]
gave me al bsadnuk lboinlpl dfaonr ufainf btoy dpionufnad,[14] which I sent
him again by Mr. Lewis, to whom I writ a very complaining letter that was
showed him; and so the matter ended. He told me he had a quarrel with me; I
said I had another with him, and we returned to our friendship, and I should
think he loves me as well as a great Minister can love a man in so short a
time. Did not I do right? I am glad at heart you have got your palsy-
water;[15] pray God Almighty it may do my dearest little Stella good! I
suppose Mrs. Edgworth set out last Monday se'ennight. Yes, I do read the
Examiners, and they are written very finely, as you judge. I do not think
they are too severe on the Duke;[16] they only tax him of avarice, and his
avarice has ruined us. You may count upon all things in them to be true. The
author has said it is not Prior, but perhaps it may be Atterbury.--Now, Madam
Dingley, says she, 'tis fine weather, says she; yes, says she, and we have got
to our new lodgings. I compute you ought to save eight pounds by being in the
others five months; and you have no more done it than eight thousand. I am
glad you are rid of that squinting, blinking Frenchman. I will give you a
bill on Parvisol for five pounds for the half-year. And must I go on at four
shillings a week, and neither eat nor drink for it? Who the Devil said
Atterbury and your Dean were alike? I never saw your Chancellor, nor his
chaplain. The latter has a good deal of learning, and is a well-wisher to be
an author: your Chancellor is an excellent man. As for Patrick's bird, he
bought him for his tameness, and is grown the wildest I ever saw. His wings
have been quilled thrice, and are now up again: he will be able to fly after
us to Ireland, if he be willing.--Yes, Mrs. Stella, Dingley writes more like
Presto than you; for all you superscribed the letter, as who should say, Why
should not I write like our Presto as well as Dingley? You with your awkward
SS;[17] cannot you write them thus, SS? No, but always SSS. Spiteful sluts,
to affront Presto's writing; as that when you shut your eyes you write most
like Presto. I know the time when I did not write to you half so plain as I
do now; but I take pity on you both. I am very much concerned for Mrs.
Walls's eyes. Walls says nothing of it to me in his letter dated after yours.
You say, "If she recovers, she may lose her sight." I hope she is in no
danger of her life. Yes, Ford is as sober as I please: I use him to walk
with me as an easy companion, always ready for what I please, when I am weary
of business and Ministers. I don't go to a Coffee-house twice a month. I am
very regular in going to sleep before eleven.--And so you say that Stella is a
pretty girl; and so she be, and methinks I see her just now as handsome as the
day is long. Do you know what? when I am writing in our language, I make up
my mouth just as if I was speaking it. I caught myself at it just now. And I
suppose Dingley is so fair and so fresh as a lass in May, and has her health,
and no spleen.--In your account you sent do you reckon as usual from the 1st
of November[18] was twelvemonth? Poor Stella, will not Dingley leave her a
little daylight to write to Presto? Well, well, we'll have daylight shortly,
spite of her teeth; and zoo[19] must cly Lele and Hele, and Hele aden. Must
loo mimitate Pdfr, pay? Iss, and so la shall. And so lele's fol ee rettle.
Dood-mollow.--At night. Mrs. Barton sent this morning to invite me to dinner;
and there I dined, just in that genteel manner that MD used when they would
treat some better sort of body than usual.
8. O dear MD, my heart is almost broken. You will hear the thing before this
comes to you. I writ a full account of it this night to the Archbishop of
Dublin; and the Dean may tell you the particulars from the Archbishop. I was
in a sorry way to write, but thought it might be proper to send a true account
of the fact; for you will hear a thousand lying circumstances. It is of Mr.
Harley's being stabbed this afternoon, at three o'clock, at a Committee of the
Council. I was playing Lady Catharine Morris's[20] cards, where I dined, when
young Arundel[21] came in with the story. I ran away immediately to the
Secretary, which was in my way: no one was at home. I met Mrs. St. John in
her chair; she had heard it imperfectly. I took a chair to Mr. Harley, who
was asleep, and they hope in no danger; but he has been out of order, and was
so when he came abroad to-day, and it may put him in a fever: I am in mortal
pain for him. That desperate French villain, Marquis de Guiscard,[22] stabbed
Mr. Harley. Guiscard was taken up by Mr. Secretary St. John's warrant for
high treason, and brought before the Lords to be examined; there he stabbed
Mr. Harley. I have told all the particulars already to the Archbishop. I
have now, at nine, sent again, and they tell me he is in a fair way. Pray
pardon my distraction; I now think of all his kindness to me.--The poor
creature now lies stabbed in his bed by a desperate French Popish villain.
Good-night, and God preserve you both, and pity me; I want it.
9. Morning; seven, in bed. Patrick is just come from Mr. Harley's. He slept
well till four; the surgeon sat[23] up with him: he is asleep again: he felt
a pain in his wound when he waked: they apprehend him in no danger. This
account the surgeon left with the porter, to tell people that send. Pray God
preserve him. I am rising, and going to Mr. Secretary St. John. They say
Guiscard will die with the wounds Mr. St. John and the rest gave him. I shall
tell you more at night.--Night. Mr. Harley still continues on the mending
hand; but he rested ill last night, and felt pain. I was early with the
Secretary this morning, and I dined with him, and he told me several
particularities of this accident, too long to relate now. Mr. Harley is still
mending this evening, but not at all out of danger; and till then I can have
no peace. Good-night, etc., and pity Presto.
10. Mr. Harley was restless last night; but he has no fever, and the hopes of
his mending increase. I had a letter from Mr. Walls, and one from Mr.
Bernage. I will answer them here, not having time to write. Mr. Walls
writes about three things. First, about a hundred pounds from Dr. Raymond, of
which I hear nothing, and it is now too late. Secondly, about Mr.
Clements:[24] I can do nothing in it, because I am not to mention Mr. Pratt;
and I cannot recommend without knowing Mr. Pratt's objections, whose relation
Clements is, and who brought him into the place. The third is about my being
godfather to the child:[25] that is in my power, and (since there is no
remedy) will submit. I wish you could hinder it; but if it can't be helped,
pay what you think proper, and get the Provost to stand for me, and let his
Christian name be Harley, in honour of my friend, now lying stabbed and
doubtful of his life. As for Bernage, he writes me word that his colonel has
offered to make him captain-lieutenant for a hundred pounds. He was such a
fool to offer him money without writing to me till it was done, though I have
had a dozen letters from him; and then he desires I would say nothing of this,
for fear his colonel should be angry. People are mad. What can I do? I
engaged Colonel Disney, who was one of his solicitors to the Secretary, and
then told him the story. He assured me that Fielding (Bernage's colonel) said
he might have got that sum; but, on account of those great recommendations he
had, would give it him for nothing: and I would have Bernage write him a
letter of thanks, as of a thing given him for nothing, upon recommendations,
etc. Disney tells me he will again speak to Fielding, and clear up this
matter; then I will write to Bernage. A pox on him for promising money till I
had it promised to me; and then making it such a ticklish point, that one
cannot expostulate with the colonel upon it: but let him do as I say, and
there is an end. I engaged the Secretary of State in it; and am sure it was
meant a kindness to me, and that no money should be given, and a hundred
pounds is too much in a Smithfield bargain,[26] as a major-general told me,
whose opinion I asked. I am now hurried, and can say no more. Farewell, etc.
etc.
How shall I superscribe to your new lodgings, pray, madams? Tell me but that,
impudence and saucy-face.
Are not you sauceboxes to write "lele"[27] like Presto? O poor Presto!
Mr. Harley is better to-night, that makes me so pert, you saucy Gog and Magog.
