LETTER 27.
LONDON, July 19, 1711.
I have just sent my 26th, and have nothing to say, because I have other
letters to write (pshaw, I began too high); but I must lay the beginning like
a nest-egg: to-morrow I will say more, and fetch up this line to be straight.
This is enough at present for two dear saucy naughty girls.
20. Have I told you that Walls has been with me, and leaves the town in three
days? He has brought no gown with him. Dilly carried him to a play. He has
come upon a foolish errand, and goes back as he comes. I was this day with
Lord Peterborow, who is going another ramble: I believe I told you so. I
dined with Lord Treasurer, but cannot get him to do his own business with me;
he has put me off till to-morrow.
21, 22. I dined yesterday with Lord Treasurer, who would needs take me along
with him to Windsor, although I refused him several times, having no linen,
etc. I had just time to desire Lord Forbes[1] to call at my lodging and order
my man to send my things to-day to Windsor by his servant. I lay last night
at the Secretary's lodgings at Windsor, and borrowed one of his shirts to go
to Court in. The Queen is very well. I dined with Mr. Masham; and not
hearing anything of my things, I got Lord Winchelsea to bring me to town.
Here I found that Patrick had broke open the closet to get my linen and
nightgown, and sent them to Windsor, and there they are; and he, not thinking
I would return so soon, is gone upon his rambles: so here I am left
destitute, and forced to borrow a nightgown of my landlady, and have not a rag
to put on to-morrow: faith, it gives me the spleen.
23. Morning. It is a terrible rainy day, and rained prodigiously on Saturday
night. Patrick lay out last night, and is not yet returned: faith, poor
Presto is a desolate creature; neither servant, nor linen, nor anything.--
Night. Lord Forbes's man has brought back my portmantua, and Patrick is come;
so I am in Christian circumstances: I shall hardly commit such a frolic
again. I just crept out to Mrs. Van's, and dined, and stayed there the
afternoon: it has rained all this day. Windsor is a delicious place: I
never saw it before, except for an hour about seventeen years ago. Walls has
been here in my absence, I suppose, to take his leave; for he designed not to
stay above five days in London. He says he and his wife will come here for
some months next year; and, in short, he dares not stay now for fear of her.
24. I dined to-day with a hedge[2] friend in the City; and Walls overtook me
in the street, and told me he was just getting on horseback for Chester. He
has as much curiosity as a cow: he lodged with his horse in Aldersgate
Street: he has bought his wife a silk gown, and himself a hat. And what are
you doing? what is poor MD doing now? how do you pass your time at Wexford?
how do the waters agree with you? Let Presto know soon; for Presto longs to
know, and must know. Is not Madam Proby curious company? I am afraid this
rainy weather will spoil your waters. We have had a great deal of wet these
three days. Tell me all the particulars of Wexford: the place, the company,
the diversions, the victuals, the wants, the vexations. Poor Dingley never
saw such a place in her life; sent all over the town for a little parsley to a
boiled chicken, and it was not to be had; the butter is stark naught, except
an old English woman's; and it is such a favour to get a pound from her now
and then! I am glad you carried down your sheets with you, else you must have
lain in sackcloth. O Lord!
25. I was this forenoon with Mr. Secretary at his office, and helped to
hinder a man of his pardon, who is condemned for a rape. The Under Secretary
was willing to save him, upon an old notion that a woman cannot be ravished;
but I told the Secretary he could not pardon him without a favourable report
from the judge; besides, he was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue, and
deserved hanging for some thing else; and so he shall swing. What, I must
stand up for the honour of the fair sex! 'Tis true the fellow had lain with
her a hundred times before, but what care I for that! What, must a woman be
ravished because she is a whore?--The Secretary and I go on Saturday to
Windsor for a week. I dined with Lord Treasurer, and stayed with him till
past ten. I was to-day at his levee, where I went against my custom, because
I had a mind to do a good office for a gentleman: so I talked with him before
my lord, that he might see me, and then found occasion to recommend him this
afternoon. I was forced to excuse my coming to the levee, that I did it to
see the sight; for he was going to chide me away: I had never been there but
once, and that was long before he was Treasurer. The rooms were all full, and
as many Whigs as Tories. He whispered me a jest or two, and bid me come to
dinner. I left him but just now; and 'tis late.
26. Mr. Addison and I have at last met again. I dined with him and Steele
to-day at young Jacob Tonson's. The two Jacobs[3] think it is I who have made
the Secretary take from them the printing of the Gazette, which they are going
to lose, and Ben Tooke and another[4] are to have it. Jacob came to me the
other day, to make his court; but I told him it was too late, and that it was
not my doing. I reckon they will lose it in a week or two. Mr. Addison and I
talked as usual, and as if we had seen one another yesterday; and Steele and I
were very easy, though I writ him lately a biting letter, in answer to one of
his, where he desired me to recommend a friend of his to Lord Treasurer. Go,
get you gone to your waters, sirrah. Do they give you a stomach? Do you eat
heartily?--We have had much rain to-day and yesterday.
27. I dined to-day in the City, and saw poor Patty Rolt, and gave her a
pistole to help her a little forward against she goes to board in the country.
She has but eighteen pounds a year to live on, and is forced to seek out for
cheap places. Sometimes they raise their price, and sometimes they starve
her, and then she is forced to shift. Patrick the puppy put too much ink in
my standish,[5] and, carrying too many things together, I spilled it on my
paper and floor. The town is dull, wet, and empty; Wexford is worth two of
it; I hope so at least, and that poor little MD finds it so. I reckon upon
going to Windsor to-morrow with Mr. Secretary, unless he changes his mind, or
some other business prevents him. I shall stay there a week, I hope.
28. Morning. Mr. Secretary sent me word he will call at my lodgings by two
this afternoon, to take me to Windsor; so I must dine nowhere; and I promised
Lord Treasurer to dine with him to-day; but I suppose we shall dine at Windsor
at five, for we make but three hours there.[6] I am going abroad, but have
left Patrick to put up my things, and to be sure to be at home half an hour
before two.--Windsor, at night. We did not leave London till three, and dined
here between six and seven; at nine I left the company, and went to see Lord
Treasurer, who is just come. I chid him for coming so late; he chid me for
not dining with him; said he stayed an hour for me. Then I went and sat with
Mr. Lewis till just now, and it is past eleven. I lie in the same house with
the Secretary, one of the Prebendary's houses. The Secretary is not come from
his apartment in the Castle. Do you think that abominable dog Patrick was out
after two to-day, and I in a fright every moment, for fear the chariot should
come; and when he came in, he had not put up one rag of my things! I never
was in a greater passion, and would certainly have cropped one of his ears, if
I had not looked every moment for the Secretary, who sent his equipage to my
lodging before, and came in a chair from Whitehall to me, and happened to stay
half an hour later than he intended. One of Lord Treasurer's servants gave me
a letter to-night: I found it was from ----, with an offer of fifty pounds,
to be paid me in what manner I pleased; because, he said, he desired to be
well with me. I was in a rage;[7] but my friend Lewis cooled me, and said it
is what the best men sometimes meet with; and I have been not seldom served in
the like manner, although not so grossly. In these cases I never demur a
moment, nor ever found the least inclination to take anything. Well, I will
go try to sleep in my new bed, and to dream of poor Wexford MD, and Stella
that drinks water, and Dingley that drinks ale.
29. I was at Court and church to-day, as I was this day se'ennight: I
generally am acquainted with about thirty in the drawing-room, and I am so
proud I make all the lords come up to me: one passes half an hour pleasant
enough. We had a dunce to preach before the Queen to-day, which often
happens. Windsor is a delicious situation, but the town is scoundrel. I have
this morning got the Gazette for Ben Tooke and one Barber a printer; it will
be about three hundred pounds a year between them. The other fellow was
printer of the Examiner, which is now laid down.[8] I dined with the
Secretary: we were a dozen in all, three Scotch lords, and Lord Peterborow.
The Duke of Hamilton[9] would needs be witty, and hold up my train as I walked
upstairs. It is an ill circumstance that on Sundays much company always meet
at the great tables. Lord Treasurer told at Court what I said to Mr.
Secretary on this occasion. The Secretary showed me his bill of fare, to
encourage me to dine with him. "Poh," said I, "show me a bill of company, for
I value not your dinner." See how this is all blotted,[10] I can write no
more here, but to tell you I love MD dearly, and God bless them.
30. In my conscience, I fear I shall have the gout. I sometimes feel pains
about my feet and toes: I never drank till within these two years, and I did
it to cure my head. I often sit evenings with some of these people, and drink
in my turn; but I am now resolved to drink ten times less than before; but
they advise me to let what I drink be all wine, and not to put water to it.
Tooke and the printer stayed to-day to finish their affair, and treated me and
two of the Under Secretaries upon their getting the Gazette. Then I went to
see Lord Treasurer, and chid him for not taking notice of me at Windsor. He
said he kept a place for me yesterday at dinner, and expected me there; but I
was glad I did not go, because the Duke of Buckingham was there, and that
would have made us acquainted; which I have no mind to. However, we appointed
to sup at Mr. Masham's, and there stayed till past one o'clock; and that is
late, sirrahs: and I have much business.
31. I have sent a noble haunch of venison this afternoon to Mrs. Vanhomrigh:
I wish you had it, sirrahs. I dined gravely with my landlord the Secretary.
The Queen was abroad to-day in order to hunt; but, finding it disposed to
rain, she kept in her coach; she hunts in a chaise with one horse, which she
drives herself, and drives furiously, like Jehu, and is a mighty hunter, like
Nimrod. Dingley has heard of Nimrod, but not Stella, for it is in the Bible.
I was to-day at Eton, which is but just cross the bridge, to see my Lord
Kerry's son,[11] who is at school there. Mr. Secretary has given me a warrant
for a buck; I can't send it to MD. It is a sad thing, faith, considering how
Presto loves MD, and how MD would love Presto's venison for Presto's sake.
God bless the two dear Wexford girls!
Aug. 1. We had for dinner the fellow of that haunch of venison I sent to
London; 'twas mighty fat and good, and eight people at dinner; that was bad.
The Queen and I were going to take the air this afternoon, but not together;
and were both hindered by a sudden rain. Her coaches and chaises all went
back, and the guards too; and I scoured into the market-place for shelter. I
intended to have walked up the finest avenue I ever saw, two miles long, with
two rows of elms on each side. I walked in the evening a little upon the
terrace, and came home at eight: Mr. Secretary came soon after, and we were
engaging in deep discourse, and I was endeavouring to settle some points of
the greatest consequence, and had wormed myself pretty well into him, when his
Under Secretary came in (who lodges in the same house with us) and interrupted
all my scheme. I have just left him: it is late, etc.
2. I have been now five days at Windsor, and Patrick has been drunk three
times that I have seen, and oftener I believe. He has lately had clothes that
have cost me five pounds, and the dog thinks he has the whip-hand of me: he
begins to master me; so now I am resolved to part with him, and will use him
without the least pity. The Secretary and I have been walking three or four
hours to-day. The Duchess of Shrewsbury[12] asked him, was not that Dr.--Dr.-
-and she could not say my name in English, but said Dr. Presto, which is
Italian for Swift. Whimsical enough, as Billy Swift[13] says. I go to-morrow
with the Secretary to his house at Bucklebury, twenty-five miles from hence,
and return early on Sunday morning. I will leave this letter behind me locked
up, and give you an account of my journey when I return. I had a letter
yesterday from the Bishop of Clogher, who is coming up to his Parliament.
Have you any correspondence with him to Wexford? Methinks, I now long for a
letter from you, dated Wexford, July 24, etc. O Lord, that would be so
pretending;[14] and then, says you, Stella can't write much, because it is bad
to write when one drinks the waters; and I think, says you, I find myself
better already, but I cannot tell yet whether it be the journey or the waters.
Presto is so silly to-night; yes he be; but Presto loves MD dearly, as hope
saved.
3. Morning. I am to go this day at noon, as I told you, to Bucklebury: we
dine at twelve, and expect to be there in four hours. I cannot bid you good-
night now, because I shall be twenty-five miles from this paper to-night, and
so my journal must have a break; so good-morrow, etc.
4, 5. I dined yesterday at Bucklebury, where we lay two nights, and set out
this morning at eight, and were here at twelve; in four hours we went twenty-
six miles. Mr. Secretary was a perfect country gentleman at Bucklebury: he
smoked tobacco with one or two neighbours; he inquired after the wheat in such
a field; he went to visit his hounds, and knew all their names; he and his
lady saw me to my chamber just in the country fashion. His house is in the
midst of near three thousand pounds a year he had by his lady,[15] who is
descended from Jack Newbury, of whom books and ballads are written; and there
is an old picture of him in the house. She is a great favourite of mine. I
lost church to-day; but I dressed and shaved, and went to Court, and would not
dine with the Secretary, but engaged myself to a private dinner with Mr.
Lewis, and one friend more. We go to London to-morrow; for Lord Dartmouth,
the other Secretary, is come, and they are here their weeks by turns.
6. Lord Treasurer comes every Saturday to Windsor, and goes away on Monday or
Tuesday. I was with him this morning at his levee, for one cannot see him
otherwise here, he is so hurried: we had some talk; and I told him I would
stay this week at Windsor by myself, where I can have more leisure to do some
business that concerns them. Lord Treasurer and the Secretary thought to
mortify me; for they told me they had been talking a great deal of me to-day
to the Queen, and she said she had never heard of me. I told them that was
their fault, and not hers, etc., and so we laughed. I dined with the
Secretary, and let him go to London at five without me; and here am I alone in
the Prebendary's house, which Mr. Secretary has taken; only Mr. Lewis is in my
neighbourhood, and we shall be good company. The Vice-Chamberlain,[16] and
Mr. Masham, and the Green Cloth,[17] have promised me dinners. I shall want
but four till Mr. Secretary returns. We have a music-meeting in our town to-
night. I went to the rehearsal of it, and there was Margarita,[18] and her
sister, and another drab, and a parcel of fiddlers: I was weary, and would
not go to the meeting, which I am sorry for, because I heard it was a great
assembly. Mr. Lewis came from it, and sat with me till just now; and 'tis
late.
7. I can do no business, I fear, because Mr. Lewis, who has nothing or little
to do here, sticks close to me. I dined today with the gentlemen ushers,
among scurvy company; but the Queen was hunting the stag till four this
afternoon, and she drove in her chaise above forty miles, and it was five
before we went to dinner. Here are fine walks about this town. I sometimes
walk up the avenue.
8. There was a Drawing-room to-day at Court; but so few company, that the
Queen sent for us into her bed-chamber, where we made our bows, and stood
about twenty of us round the room, while she looked at us round with her fan
in her mouth, and once a minute said about three words to some that were
nearest her, and then she was told dinner was ready, and went out. I dined at
the Green Cloth, by Mr. Scarborow's[19] invitation, who is in waiting. It is
much the best table in England, and costs the Queen a thousand pounds a month
while she is at Windsor or Hampton Court, and is the only mark of magnificence
or hospitality I can see in the Queen's family: it is designed to entertain
foreign Ministers, and people of quality, who come to see the Queen, and have
no place to dine at.
9. Mr. Coke, the Vice-Chamberlain, made me a long visit this morning, and
invited me to dinner; but the toast, his lady,[20] was unfortunately engaged
to Lady Sunderland.[21] Lord Treasurer stole here last night, but did not lie
at his lodgings in the Castle; and, after seeing the Queen, went back again.
I just drank a dish of chocolate with him. I fancy I shall have reason to be
angry with him very soon; but what care I? I believe I shall die with
Ministries in my debt.--This night I received a certain letter from a place
called Wexford, from two dear naughty girls of my acquaintance; but, faith, I
will not answer it here, no in troth. I will send this to Mr. Reading,
supposing it will find you returned; and I hope better for the waters.
10. Mr. Vice-Chamberlain lent me his horses to ride about and see the country
this morning. Dr. Arbuthnot, the Queen's physician and favourite, went out
with me to show me the places: we went a little after the Queen, and overtook
Miss Forester,[22] a maid of honour, on her palfrey, taking the air; we made
her go along with us. We saw a place they have made for a famous horse-race
to-morrow, where the Queen will come. We met the Queen coming back, and Miss
Forester stood, like us, with her hat off while the Queen went by. The Doctor
and I left the lady where we found her, but under other conductors; and we
dined at a little place he has taken, about a mile off.--When I came back I
found Mr. Scarborow had sent all about to invite me to the Green Cloth, and
lessened his company on purpose to make me easy. It is very obliging, and
will cost me thanks. Much company is come to town this evening, to see to-
morrow's race. I was tired with riding a trotting mettlesome horse a dozen
miles, having not been on horseback this twelvemonth. And Miss Forester did
not make it easier; she is a silly true maid of honour, and I did not like
her, although she be a toast, and was dressed like a man.[23]
11. I will send this letter to-day. I expect the Secretary by noon. I will
not go to the race unless I can get room in some coach. It is now morning. I
must rise, and fold up and seal my letter. Farewell, and God preserve dearest
MD.
I believe I shall leave this town on Monday.
