Section 85
Peter went out from this conference a sober man, realizing for the
first time his responsibilities as a voter, and a shepherd to other
voters. Peter agreed with Gladys that his views had been too narrow;
his conception of the duties of a secret agent had been of the
pre-war order. Now he must realize that the world was changed; now,
in this new world made safe for democracy, the secret agent was the
real ruler of society, the real master of affairs, the trustee, as
it were, for civilization. Peter and his wife must take up this new
role and make themselves fit for it. They ought of course not be
moved by personal considerations, but at the same time they must
recognize the fact that this higher role would be of great advantage
to them; it would enable them to move up in the world, to meet the
best people. Thru five or six years of her young life Gladys had sat
polishing the fingernails and fondling the soft white hands of the
genteel; and always a fire of determination had burnt in her breast,
that some day she would belong to this world of gentility, she would
meet these people, not as an employee, but as an equal, she would
not merely hold their hands, but would have them hold hers.
Now the chance had come. She had a little talk with Guffey, and
Guffey said it would be a good idea, and he would speak to Billy
Nash, the secretary of the "Improve America League"; and he did so,
and next week the American City "Times" announced that on the
following Sunday evening the Men's Bible Class of the Bethlehem
Church would have an interesting meeting. It would be addressed by
an "under cover" operative of the government, a former Red who had
been for many years a most dangerous agitator, but had seen the
error of his ways, and had made amends by giving his services to the
government in the recent I. W. W. trials.
The Bethlehem Church didn't amount to very much, it was an obscure
sect like the Holy Rollers; but Gladys had been shrewd, and had
insisted that you mustn't try to climb to the top of the mountain in
one step. Peter must first "try it on the dog," and if he failed,
there would be no great harm done.
But Gladys worked just as hard to make a success of this lecture as
if they had been going into real society. She spent several days
getting up her costume and Peter's, and she spent a whole day
getting her toilet ready, and before they set out she spent at least
an hour putting the finishing touches upon herself in front of a
mirror, and seeing that Peter was proper in every detail. When Mr.
Nash introduced her personally to the Rev. Zebediah Muggins, and
when this apostle of the second advent came out upon the platform
and introduced her husband to the crowded working-class audience,
Gladys was so a-quiver with delight that it was more a pain than a
pleasure.
Peter did not do perfectly, of course. He lost himself a few times,
and stammered and floundered about; but he remembered Glady's
advice--if he got stuck, to smile and explain that he had never
spoken in public before. So everything went along nicely, and
everybody in the Men's Bible Class was aghast at the incredible
revelations of this ex-Red and secret agent of law and order. So
next week Peter was invited again--this time by the Young Saints'
League; and when he had made good there, he was drafted by the Ad.
Men's Association, and then by the Crackers and Cheese Club. By this
time he had acquired what Gladys called "savwaa fair"; his fame
spread rapidly, and at last came the supreme hour--he was summoned
to Park Avenue to address the members of the Friendly Society, a
parish organization of the Church of the Divine Compassion!
This was the goal upon which the eyes of Gladys had been fixed. This
was the time that really counted, and Peter was groomed and
rehearsed all over again. Their home was only a few blocks from the
church, but Gladys insisted that they must positively arrive in a
taxi-cab, and when they entered the Parish Hall and the Rev. de
Willoughby Stotterbridge, that exquisite almost-English gentleman,
came up and shook hands with them, Gladys knew that she had at last
arrived. The clergyman himself escorted her to the platform, and
after he had introduced Peter, he seated himself beside her, thus
definitely putting a seal upon her social position.
Peter, having learned his lecture by heart, having found out just
what brought laughter and what brought tears and what brought
patriotic applause, was now an assured success. After the lecture he
answered questions, and two clerks in the employ of Billy Nash
passed around membership cards of the "Improve America League,"
membership dues five dollars a year, sustaining membership
twenty-five dollars a year, life membership two hundred dollars
cash. Peter was shaken hands with by members of the most exclusive
social set in American City, and told by them all to keep it up--his
country needed him. Next morning there was an account of his lecture
in the "Times," and the morning after there was an editorial about
his revelations, with the moral: "Join the Improve America League."
