THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR
by William Shakespeare
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF
FENTON, a young gentleman
SHALLOW, a country justice
SLENDER, cousin to Shallow
FORD, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor
PAGE, Gentleman dwelling at Windsor
WILLIAM PAGE, a boy, son to Page
SIR HUGH EVANS, a Welsh parson
DOCTOR CAIUS, a French physician
HOST of the Garter Inn
BARDOLPH, PISTOL, NYM, Followers of Falstaff
ROBIN, page to Falstaff
SIMPLE, servant to Slender
RUGBY, servant to Doctor Caius
MISTRESS FORD
MISTRESS PAGE
MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, her daughter, in love with Fenton
MISTRESS QUICKLY, servant to Doctor Caius
SERVANTS to Page, Ford, &c.
SCENE: Windsor; and the neighbourhood
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT I.
SCENE 1. Windsor. Before PAGE'S house.
[Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.]
SHALLOW.
Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star
Chamber matter of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs,
he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
SLENDER.
In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and
'coram.'
SHALLOW.
Ay, cousin Slender, and 'cust-alorum.'
SLENDER.
Ay, and 'rato-lorum 'too; and a gentleman born,
Master Parson, who writes himself 'armigero' in any bill,
warrant, quittance, or obligation--'armigero.'
SHALLOW.
Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three
hundred years.
SLENDER.
All his successors, gone before him, hath done't;
and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may
give the dozen white luces in their coat.
SHALLOW.
It is an old coat.
EVANS.
The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;
it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and
signifies love.
SHALLOW.
The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old
coat.
SLENDER.
I may quarter, coz?
SHALLOW.
You may, by marrying.
EVANS.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW.
Not a whit.
EVANS.
Yes, py'r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there
is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures;
but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed
disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be
glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and
compremises between you.
SHALLOW.
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
EVANS.
It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no
fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire
to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your
vizaments in that.
SHALLOW.
Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword
should end it.
EVANS.
It is petter that friends is the sword and end it;
and there is also another device in my prain, which
peradventure prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne
Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is
pretty virginity.
SLENDER.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and
speaks small like a woman.
EVANS.
It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you
will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and
gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon his death's-bed--Got
deliver to a joyful resurrections!--give, when she is able to
overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we
leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage
between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW.
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS.
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
SHALLOW.
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
EVANS.
Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
SHALLOW.
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS.
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not
true. The knight Sir John is there; and, I beseech you, be
ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master
Page. [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
PAGE.
[Within.] Who's there?
EVANS.
Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures
shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your
likings.
[Enter PAGE.]
PAGE.
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for
my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW.
Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do
it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill
killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I thank you
always with my heart, la! with my heart.
PAGE.
Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW.
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER.
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say
he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE.
It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER.
You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
SHALLOW.
That he will not: 'tis your fault; 'tis your fault.
'Tis a good dog.
PAGE.
A cur, sir.
SHALLOW.
Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be
more said? he is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
PAGE.
Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office
between you.
EVANS.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW.
He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE.
Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW.
If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that
so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath;--at a
word, he hath,--believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith
he is wronged.
PAGE.
Here comes Sir John.
[Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.]
FALSTAFF.
Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the King?
SHALLOW.
Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer,
and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF.
But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?
SHALLOW.
Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
FALSTAFF.
I will answer it straight: I have done all this.
That is now answered.
SHALLOW.
The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF.
'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:
you'll be laughed at.
EVANS.
Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
FALSTAFF.
Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your
head; what matter have you against me?
SLENDER.
Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym,
and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me
drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
BARDOLPH.
You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER.
Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL.
How now, Mephostophilus!
SLENDER.
Ay, it is no matter.
NYM.
Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That's my humour.
SLENDER.
Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
EVANS.
Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is--
Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself,
fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and
finally, mine host of the Garter.
PAGE.
We three to hear it and end it between them.
EVANS.
Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book;
and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great
discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF.
Pistol!
PISTOL.
He hears with ears.
EVANS.
The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears
with ear'? Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF.
Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?
SLENDER.
Ay, by these gloves, did he--or I would I might
never come in mine own great chamber again else!--of
seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece
of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
FALSTAFF.
Is this true, Pistol?
EVANS.
No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
PISTOL.
Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!--Sir John and master mine,
I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
Word of denial in thy labras here!
Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDER.
By these gloves, then, 'twas he.
NYM.
Be avised, sir, and pass good humours; I will say
'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on
me; that is the very note of it.
SLENDER.
By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for
though I cannot remember what I did when you made me
drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
FALSTAFF.
What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH.
Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had
drunk himself out of his five sentences.
EVANS.
It is his 'five senses'; fie, what the ignorance is!
BARDOLPH.
And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd;
and so conclusions passed the careires.
SLENDER.
Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter;
I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest,
civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be
drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with
drunken knaves.
EVANS.
So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF.
You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you
hear it.
[Enter ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE.]
PAGE.
Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE.]
SLENDER.
O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
PAGE.
How now, Mistress Ford!
FALSTAFF.
Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well
met; by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her.]
PAGE.
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we
shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS.]
SLENDER.
I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
Songs and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE.]
How, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on
myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you,
have you?
SIMPLE.
Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice
Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore
Michaelmas?
SHALLOW.
Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word
with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here: do
you understand me?
SLENDER.
Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I
shall do that that is reason.
SHALLOW.
Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER.
So I do, sir.
EVANS.
Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will
description the matter to you, if you pe capacity of it.
SLENDER.
Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says; I pray
you pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country,
simple though I stand here.
EVANS.
But that is not the question; the question is
concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW.
Ay, there's the point, sir.
EVANS.
Marry is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne
Page.
SLENDER.
Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
reasonable demands.
EVANS.
But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to
know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers
hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore,
precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?
SHALLOW.
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
SLENDER.
I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that
would do reason.
EVANS.
Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable,
if you can carry her your desires towards her.
SHALLOW.
That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
SLENDER.
I will do a greater thing than that upon your request,
cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what
I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
SLENDER.
I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there
be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease
it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and
have more occasion to know one another; I hope upon
familiarity will grow more contempt. But if you say
'Marry her,' I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved,
and dissolutely.
EVANS.
It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fall is in the
ort 'dissolutely': the ort is, according to our meaning,
'resolutely'. His meaning is good.
SHALLOW
Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER.
Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
SHALLOW.
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE.]
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
ANNE.
The dinner is on the table; my father desires your
worships' company.
SHALLOW.
I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne!
EVANS.
Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.]
ANNE.
Will't please your worship to come in, sir?
SLENDER.
No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
ANNE.
The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER.
I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin
Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his
friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet,
till my mother be dead. But what though?
Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE.
I may not go in without your worship: they will not
sit till you come.
SLENDER.
I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
though I did.
ANNE.
I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER.
I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my
shin th' other day with playing at sword and dagger with
a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed
prunes--and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot
meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i' the
town?
ANNE.
I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
SLENDER.
I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the
bear loose, are you not?
ANNE.
Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER.
That's meat and drink to me now. I have seen
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the
chain; but I warrant you, the women have so cried and
shrieked at it that it passed; but women, indeed, cannot
abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
[Re-enter PAGE.]
PAGE.
Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
SLENDER.
I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE.
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
SLENDER.
Nay, pray you lead the way.
PAGE.
Come on, sir.
SLENDER.
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE.
Not I, sir; pray you keep on.
SLENDER.
Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do
you that wrong.
ANNE.
I pray you, sir.
SLENDER.
I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You
do yourself wrong indeed, la!
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 2. The same.
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.]
EVANS.
Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which
is the way; and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which
is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook,
or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
SIMPLE.
Well, sir.
EVANS.
Nay, it is better yet. Give her this letter; for it is a
'oman that altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne
Page; and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit
your master's desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray you
be gone: I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins
and cheese to come.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 3. A room in the Garter Inn.
[Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN.]
FALSTAFF.
Mine host of the Garter!
HOST.
What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.
FALSTAFF.
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST.
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF.
I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST.
Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I
will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I
well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF.
Do so, good mine host.
HOST.
I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me
see thee froth and lime. I am at a word; follow.
[Exit.]
FALSTAFF.
Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade;
an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man a
fresh tapster. Go; adieu.
BARDOLPH.
It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
PISTOL.
O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot wield?
[Exit BARDOLPH.]
NYM.
He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF.
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his
thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful
singer--he kept not time.
NYM.
The good humour is to steal at a minim's rest.
PISTOL.
'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! A fico for the
phrase!
FALSTAFF.
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL.
Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF.
There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
PISTOL.
Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF.
Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL.
I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF.
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL.
Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF.
No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist
two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about
thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I
spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she
gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her
familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be
Englished rightly, is 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'
PISTOL.
He hath studied her well, and translated her will out
of honesty into English.
NYM.
The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?
FALSTAFF.
Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her
husband's purse; he hath a legion of angels.
PISTOL.
As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.
NYM.
The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.
FALSTAFF.
I have writ me here a letter to her; and here
another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes
too, examined my parts with most judicious oeillades;
sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my
portly belly.
PISTOL.
Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
NYM.
I thank thee for that humour.
FALSTAFF.
O! she did so course o'er my exteriors with such
a greedy intention that the appetite of her eye did seem to
scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another letter to
her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all
gold and bounty. I will be 'cheator to them both, and they
shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this
letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford. We
will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL.
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then Lucifer take all!
NYM.
I will run no base humour. Here, take the
humour-letter; I will keep the haviour of reputation.
FALSTAFF.
[To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah; bear you these letters tightly;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
Trudge, plod away o' hoof; seek shelter, pack!
Falstaff will learn the humour of this age;
French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN.]
PISTOL.
Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,
And high and low beguile the rich and poor;
Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM.
I have operations in my head which be humours of revenge.
PISTOL.
Wilt thou revenge?
NYM.
By welkin and her star!
PISTOL.
With wit or steel?
NYM.
With both the humours, I:
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
PISTOL.
And I to Ford shall eke unfold
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.
NYM.
My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal
with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the
revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour.
PISTOL.
Thou art the Mars of malcontents; I second thee;
troop on.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 4. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS'S house.
[Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, and SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY.
What, John Rugby!
[Enter RUGBY.]
I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my
master, Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith,
and find anybody in the house, here will be an old abusing
of God's patience and the King's English.
RUGBY.
I'll go watch.
QUICKLY.
Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
[Exit RUGBY.]
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall
come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale
nor no breed-bate; his worst fault is that he is given
to prayer; he is something peevish that way; but nobody
but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple you
say your name is?
SIMPLE.
Ay, for fault of a better.
QUICKLY.
And Master Slender's your master?
SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth.
QUICKLY.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
glover's paring-knife?
SIMPLE.
No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a
little yellow beard--a cane-coloured beard.
QUICKLY.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as
any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a
warrener.
QUICKLY.
How say you?--O! I should remember him. Does
he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE.
Yes, indeed, does he.
QUICKLY.
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune!
Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your
master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish--
[Re-enter RUGBY.]
RUGBY.
Out, alas! here comes my master.
QUICKLY.
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young
man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He
will not stay long. What, John Rugby! John! what, John,
I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be
not well that he comes not home.
[Exit Rugby.]
[Sings.] And down, down, adown-a,' &c.
[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.]
CAIUS.
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go
and vetch me in my closet une boitine verde--a box, a green-a
box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
QUICKLY.
Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad
he went not in himself: if he had found the young man,
he would have been horn-mad.
CAIUS.
Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais a
la cour--la grande affaire.
QUICKLY.
Is it this, sir?
CAIUS.
Oui; mettez le au mon pocket: depechez, quickly.--Vere
is dat knave, Rugby?
QUICKLY.
What, John Rugby? John!
[Re-enter Rugby.]
RUGBY. Here, sir.
CAIUS.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come,
take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
RUGBY. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
CAIUS.
By my trot, I tarry too long.--Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublie?
Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the
varld I shall leave behind.
QUICKLY.
[Aside.[ Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be
mad!
CAIUS.
O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?--Villainy! larron!
[Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier!
QUICKLY.
Good master, be content.
CAIUS.
Verefore shall I be content-a?
QUICKLY.
The young man is an honest man.
CAIUS.
What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is
no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
QUICKLY.
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the
truth of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
CAIUS.
Vell.
SIMPLE.
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to--
QUICKLY.
Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS.
Peace-a your tongue!--Speak-a your tale.
SIMPLE.
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to
speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master,
in the way of marriage.
QUICKLY.
This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger
in the fire, and need not.
CAIUS.
Sir Hugh send-a you?--Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry
you a little-a while. [Writes.]
QUICKLY.
I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved,
you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good
I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor,
my master--I may call him my master, look you, for I keep
his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
drink, make the beds, and do all myself--
SIMPLE.
'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.
QUICKLY.
Are you avis'd o' that? You shall find it a great charge;
and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,--to
tell you in your ear,--I would have no words of it--my
master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but
notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither
here nor there.
CAIUS.
You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar,
it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I
will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You
may be gone; it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I will
cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone
to throw at his dog.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
CAIUS.
It is no matter-a ver dat:--do not you tell-a me dat I
shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack
priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jartiere to
measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
QUICKLY.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We
must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
CAIUS.
Rugby, come to the court vit me. By gar, if I have
not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.
Follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY.]
QUICKLY.
You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No,
I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor
knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more
than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON.
[Within.] Who's within there? ho!
QUICKLY.
Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
[Enter FENTON.]
FENTON.
How now, good woman! how dost thou?
QUICKLY.
The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
FENTON.
What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
QUICKLY.
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by
the way; I praise heaven for it.
FENTON.
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose
my suit?
QUICKLY.
Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but
notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book
she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?
FENTON.
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
QUICKLY.
Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such
another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke
bread. We had an hour's talk of that wart; I shall never
laugh but in that maid's company;--but, indeed, she is
given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you--well,
go to.
FENTON.
Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money
for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest
her before me, commend me.
QUICKLY.
Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell your
worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence;
and of other wooers.
FENTON.
Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
QUICKLY.
Farewell to your worship.--[Exit FENTON.] Truly,
an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know
Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon 't, what
have I forgot?
[Exit.]
