CHAPTER 9
The progress of Catherine's unhappiness from the events of the evening
was as follows. It appeared first in a general dissatisfaction
with everybody about her, while she remained in the rooms, which
speedily brought on considerable weariness and a violent desire to
go home. This, on arriving in Pulteney Street, took the direction
of extraordinary hunger, and when that was appeased, changed into
an earnest longing to be in bed; such was the extreme point of her
distress; for when there she immediately fell into a sound sleep
which lasted nine hours, and from which she awoke perfectly revived,
in excellent spirits, with fresh hopes and fresh schemes. The
first wish of her heart was to improve her acquaintance with Miss
Tilney, and almost her first resolution, to seek her for that
purpose, in the pump-room at noon. In the pump-room, one so newly
arrived in Bath must be met with, and that building she had already
found so favourable for the discovery of female excellence, and
the completion of female intimacy, so admirably adapted for secret
discourses and unlimited confidence, that she was most reasonably
encouraged to expect another friend from within its walls. Her
plan for the morning thus settled, she sat quietly down to her
book after breakfast, resolving to remain in the same place and the
same employment till the clock struck one; and from habitude very
little incommoded by the remarks and ejaculations of Mrs. Allen,
whose vacancy of mind and incapacity for thinking were such, that
as she never talked a great deal, so she could never be entirely
silent; and, therefore, while she sat at her work, if she lost her
needle or broke her thread, if she heard a carriage in the street,
or saw a speck upon her gown, she must observe it aloud, whether
there were anyone at leisure to answer her or not. At about half
past twelve, a remarkably loud rap drew her in haste to the window,
and scarcely had she time to inform Catherine of there being two
open carriages at the door, in the first only a servant, her brother
driving Miss Thorpe in the second, before John Thorpe came running
upstairs, calling out, "Well, Miss Morland, here I am. Have you
been waiting long? We could not come before; the old devil of a
coachmaker was such an eternity finding out a thing fit to be got
into, and now it is ten thousand to one but they break down before
we are out of the street. How do you do, Mrs. Allen? A famous
bag last night, was not it? Come, Miss Morland, be quick, for
the others are in a confounded hurry to be off. They want to get
their tumble over."
"What do you mean?" said Catherine. "Where are you all going to?"
"Going to? Why, you have not forgot our engagement! Did not we
agree together to take a drive this morning? What a head you have!
We are going up Claverton Down."
"Something was said about it, I remember," said Catherine, looking
at Mrs. Allen for her opinion; "but really I did not expect you."
"Not expect me! That's a good one! And what a dust you would have
made, if I had not come."
Catherine's silent appeal to her friend, meanwhile, was entirely
thrown away, for Mrs. Allen, not being at all in the habit of
conveying any expression herself by a look, was not aware of its
being ever intended by anybody else; and Catherine, whose desire
of seeing Miss Tilney again could at that moment bear a short delay
in favour of a drive, and who thought there could be no impropriety
in her going with Mr. Thorpe, as Isabella was going at the same
time with James, was therefore obliged to speak plainer. "Well,
ma'am, what do you say to it? Can you spare me for an hour or two?
Shall I go?"
"Do just as you please, my dear," replied Mrs. Allen, with the
most placid indifference. Catherine took the advice, and ran off
to get ready. In a very few minutes she reappeared, having scarcely
allowed the two others time enough to get through a few short
sentences in her praise, after Thorpe had procured Mrs. Allen's
admiration of his gig; and then receiving her friend's parting
good wishes, they both hurried downstairs. "My dearest creature,"
cried Isabella, to whom the duty of friendship immediately called
her before she could get into the carriage, "you have been at
least three hours getting ready. I was afraid you were ill. What
a delightful ball we had last night. I have a thousand things to
say to you; but make haste and get in, for I long to be off."
Catherine followed her orders and turned away, but not too soon
to hear her friend exclaim aloud to James, "What a sweet girl she
is! I quite dote on her."
"You will not be frightened, Miss Morland," said Thorpe, as he
handed her in, "if my horse should dance about a little at first
setting off. He will, most likely, give a plunge or two, and perhaps
take the rest for a minute; but he will soon know his master. He
is full of spirits, playful as can be, but there is no vice in
him."
Catherine did not think the portrait a very inviting one, but
it was too late to retreat, and she was too young to own herself
frightened; so, resigning herself to her fate, and trusting to the
animal's boasted knowledge of its owner, she sat peaceably down,
and saw Thorpe sit down by her. Everything being then arranged,
the servant who stood at the horse's head was bid in an important
voice "to let him go," and off they went in the quietest manner
imaginable, without a plunge or a caper, or anything like one.
Catherine, delighted at so happy an escape, spoke her pleasure
aloud with grateful surprise; and her companion immediately made
the matter perfectly simple by assuring her that it was entirely
owing to the peculiarly judicious manner in which he had then held
the reins, and the singular discernment and dexterity with which
he had directed his whip. Catherine, though she could not help
wondering that with such perfect command of his horse, he should
think it necessary to alarm her with a relation of its tricks,
congratulated herself sincerely on being under the care of
so excellent a coachman; and perceiving that the animal continued
to go on in the same quiet manner, without showing the smallest
propensity towards any unpleasant vivacity, and (considering
its inevitable pace was ten miles an hour) by no means alarmingly
fast, gave herself up to all the enjoyment of air and exercise of
the most invigorating kind, in a fine mild day of February, with
the consciousness of safety. A silence of several minutes succeeded
their first short dialogue; it was broken by Thorpe's saying very
abruptly, "Old Allen is as rich as a Jew -- is not he?" Catherine
did not understand him -- and he repeated his question, adding in
explanation, "Old Allen, the man you are with."
"Oh! Mr. Allen, you mean. Yes, I believe, he is very rich."
"And no children at all?"
"No -- not any."
"A famous thing for his next heirs. He is your godfather, is not
he?"
"My godfather! No."
"But you are always very much with them."
"Yes, very much."
"Aye, that is what I meant. He seems a good kind of old fellow
enough, and has lived very well in his time, I dare say; he is not
gouty for nothing. Does he drink his bottle a day now?"
"His bottle a day! No. Why should you think of such a thing?
He is a very temperate man, and you could not fancy him in liquor
last night?"
"Lord help you! You women are always thinking of men's being in
liquor. Why, you do not suppose a man is overset by a bottle? I
am sure of this -- that if everybody was to drink their bottle a
day, there would not be half the disorders in the world there are
now. It would be a famous good thing for us all."
"I cannot believe it."
"Oh! Lord, it would be the saving of thousands. There is not
the hundredth part of the wine consumed in this kingdom that there
ought to be. Our foggy climate wants help."
"And yet I have heard that there is a great deal of wine drunk in
Oxford."
"Oxford! There is no drinking at Oxford now, I assure you. Nobody
drinks there. You would hardly meet with a man who goes beyond
his four pints at the utmost. Now, for instance, it was reckoned
a remarkable thing, at the last party in my rooms, that upon an
average we cleared about five pints a head. It was looked upon as
something out of the common way. Mine is famous good stuff, to be
sure. You would not often meet with anything like it in Oxford --
and that may account for it. But this will just give you a notion
of the general rate of drinking there."
"Yes, it does give a notion," said Catherine warmly, "and that is,
that you all drink a great deal more wine than I thought you did.
However, I am sure James does not drink so much."
This declaration brought on a loud and overpowering reply, of
which no part was very distinct, except the frequent exclamations,
amounting almost to oaths, which adorned it, and Catherine was left,
when it ended, with rather a strengthened belief of there being a
great deal of wine drunk in Oxford, and the same happy conviction
of her brother's comparative sobriety.
Thorpe's ideas then all reverted to the merits of his own equipage,
and she was called on to admire the spirit and freedom with which
his horse moved along, and the ease which his paces, as well as the
excellence of the springs, gave the motion of the carriage. She
followed him in all his admiration as well as she could. To go
before or beyond him was impossible. His knowledge and her ignorance
of the subject, his rapidity of expression, and her diffidence of
herself put that out of her power; she could strike out nothing
new in commendation, but she readily echoed whatever he chose to
assert, and it was finally settled between them without any difficulty
that his equipage was altogether the most complete of its kind in
England, his carriage the neatest, his horse the best goer, and
himself the best coachman. "You do not really think, Mr. Thorpe,"
said Catherine, venturing after some time to consider the matter
as entirely decided, and to offer some little variation on the
subject, "that James's gig will break down?"
"Break down! Oh! Lord! Did you ever see such a little tittuppy
thing in your life? There is not a sound piece of iron about it.
The wheels have been fairly worn out these ten years at least --
and as for the body! Upon my soul, you might shake it to pieces
yourself with a touch. It is the most devilish little rickety
business I ever beheld! Thank God! we have got a better. I would
not be bound to go two miles in it for fifty thousand pounds."
"Good heavens!" cried Catherine, quite frightened. "Then pray let
us turn back; they will certainly meet with an accident if we go
on. Do let us turn back, Mr. Thorpe; stop and speak to my brother,
and tell him how very unsafe it is."
"Unsafe! Oh, lord! What is there in that? They will only get a
roll if it does break down; and there is plenty of dirt; it will
be excellent falling. Oh, curse it! The carriage is safe enough,
if a man knows how to drive it; a thing of that sort in good hands
will last above twenty years after it is fairly worn out. Lord
bless you! I would undertake for five pounds to drive it to York
and back again, without losing a nail."
Catherine listened with astonishment; she knew not how to reconcile
two such very different accounts of the same thing; for she had not
been brought up to understand the propensities of a rattle, nor to
know to how many idle assertions and impudent falsehoods the excess
of vanity will lead. Her own family were plain, matter-of-fact
people who seldom aimed at wit of any kind; her father, at the
utmost, being contented with a pun, and her mother with a proverb;
they were not in the habit therefore of telling lies to increase
their importance, or of asserting at one moment what they would
contradict the next. She reflected on the affair for some time in
much perplexity, and was more than once on the point of requesting
from Mr. Thorpe a clearer insight into his real opinion on the
subject; but she checked herself, because it appeared to her that
he did not excel in giving those clearer insights, in making those
things plain which he had before made ambiguous; and, joining to
this, the consideration that he would not really suffer his sister
and his friend to be exposed to a danger from which he might easily
preserve them, she concluded at last that he must know the carriage
to be in fact perfectly safe, and therefore would alarm herself
no longer. By him the whole matter seemed entirely forgotten; and
all the rest of his conversation, or rather talk, began and ended
with himself and his own concerns. He told her of horses which
he had bought for a trifle and sold for incredible sums; of racing
matches, in which his judgment had infallibly foretold the winner;
of shooting parties, in which he had killed more birds (though
without having one good shot) than all his companions together; and
described to her some famous day's sport, with the fox-hounds, in
which his foresight and skill in directing the dogs had repaired
the mistakes of the most experienced huntsman, and in which the
boldness of his riding, though it had never endangered his own life
for a moment, had been constantly leading others into difficulties,
which he calmly concluded had broken the necks of many.
Little as Catherine was in the habit of judging for herself, and
unfixed as were her general notions of what men ought to be, she
could not entirely repress a doubt, while she bore with the effusions
of his endless conceit, of his being altogether completely agreeable.
It was a bold surmise, for he was Isabella's brother; and she had
been assured by James that his manners would recommend him to all
her sex; but in spite of this, the extreme weariness of his company,
which crept over her before they had been out an hour, and which
continued unceasingly to increase till they stopped in Pulteney
Street again, induced her, in some small degree, to resist such high
authority, and to distrust his powers of giving universal pleasure.
When they arrived at Mrs. Allen's door, the astonishment of Isabella
was hardly to be expressed, on finding that it was too late in
the day for them to attend her friend into the house: "Past three
o'clock!" It was inconceivable, incredible, impossible! And she
would neither believe her own watch, nor her brother's, nor the
servant's; she would believe no assurance of it founded on reason
or reality, till Morland produced his watch, and ascertained the
fact; to have doubted a moment longer then would have been equally
inconceivable, incredible, and impossible; and she could only
protest, over and over again, that no two hours and a half had ever
gone off so swiftly before, as Catherine was called on to confirm;
Catherine could not tell a falsehood even to please Isabella; but
the latter was spared the misery of her friend's dissenting voice,
by not waiting for her answer. Her own feelings entirely engrossed
her; her wretchedness was most acute on finding herself obliged
to go directly home. It was ages since she had had a moment's
conversation with her dearest Catherine; and, though she had such
thousands of things to say to her, it appeared as if they were never
to be together again; so, with sniffles of most exquisite misery,
and the laughing eye of utter despondency, she bade her friend
adieu and went on.
Catherine found Mrs. Allen just returned from all the busy idleness
of the morning, and was immediately greeted with, "Well, my dear,
here you are," a truth which she had no greater inclination than
power to dispute; "and I hope you have had a pleasant airing?"
"Yes, ma'am, I thank you; we could not have had a nicer day."
"So Mrs. Thorpe said; she was vastly pleased at your all going."
"You have seen Mrs. Thorpe, then?"
"Yes, I went to the pump-room as soon as you were gone, and there
I met her, and we had a great deal of talk together. She says
there was hardly any veal to be got at market this morning, it is
so uncommonly scarce."
"Did you see anybody else of our acquaintance?"
"Yes; we agreed to take a turn in the Crescent, and there we met
Mrs. Hughes, and Mr. and Miss Tilney walking with her."
"Did you indeed? And did they speak to you?"
"Yes, we walked along the Crescent together for half an hour.
They seem very agreeable people. Miss Tilney was in a very pretty
spotted muslin, and I fancy, by what I can learn, that she always
dresses very handsomely. Mrs. Hughes talked to me a great deal
about the family."
"And what did she tell you of them?"
"Oh! A vast deal indeed; she hardly talked of anything else."
"Did she tell you what part of Gloucestershire they come from?"
"Yes, she did; but I cannot recollect now. But they are very good
kind of people, and very rich. Mrs. Tilney was a Miss Drummond,
and she and Mrs. Hughes were schoolfellows; and Miss Drummond had
a very large fortune; and, when she married, her father gave her
twenty thousand pounds, and five hundred to buy wedding-clothes.
Mrs. Hughes saw all the clothes after they came from the warehouse."
"And are Mr. and Mrs. Tilney in Bath?"
"Yes, I fancy they are, but I am not quite certain. Upon recollection,
however, I have a notion they are both dead; at least the mother
is; yes, I am sure Mrs. Tilney is dead, because Mrs. Hughes told
me there was a very beautiful set of pearls that Mr. Drummond gave
his daughter on her wedding-day and that Miss Tilney has got now,
for they were put by for her when her mother died."
"And is Mr. Tilney, my partner, the only son?"
"I cannot be quite positive about that, my dear; I have some idea
he is; but, however, he is a very fine young man, Mrs. Hughes says,
and likely to do very well."
Catherine inquired no further; she had heard enough to feel that
Mrs. Allen had no real intelligence to give, and that she was most
particularly unfortunate herself in having missed such a meeting
with both brother and sister. Could she have foreseen such
a circumstance, nothing should have persuaded her to go out with
the others; and, as it was, she could only lament her ill luck,
and think over what she had lost, till it was clear to her that
the drive had by no means been very pleasant and that John Thorpe
himself was quite disagreeable.
