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Literature Post > Conrad, Joseph > An Outcast of the Islands > Chapter 4

An Outcast of the Islands by Conrad, Joseph - Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR





His meditation which resembled slow drifting into suicide was

interrupted by Lingard, who, with a loud "I've got you at last!"

dropped his hand heavily on Willems' shoulder. This time it was

the old seaman himself going out of his way to pick up the

uninteresting waif--all that there was left of that sudden and

sordid shipwreck. To Willems, the rough, friendly voice was a

quick and fleeting relief followed by a sharper pang of anger and

unavailing regret. That voice carried him back to the beginning

of his promising career, the end of which was very visible now

from the jetty where they both stood. He shook himself free from

the friendly grasp, saying with ready bitterness--



"It's all your fault. Give me a push now, do, and send me over.

I have been standing here waiting for help. You are the man--of

all men. You helped at the beginning; you ought to have a hand

in the end."



"I have better use for you than to throw you to the fishes," said

Lingard, seriously, taking Willems by the arm and forcing him

gently to walk up the jetty. "I have been buzzing over this town

like a bluebottle fly, looking for you high and low. I have

heard a lot. I will tell you what, Willems; you are no saint,

that's a fact. And you have not been over-wise either. I am not

throwing stones," he added, hastily, as Willems made an effort to

get away, "but I am not going to mince matters. Never could!

You keep quiet while I talk. Can't you?"



With a gesture of resignation and a half-stifled groan Willems

submitted to the stronger will, and the two men paced slowly up

and down the resounding planks, while Lingard disclosed to

Willems the exact manner of his undoing. After the first shock

Willems lost the faculty of surprise in the over-powering feeling

of indignation. So it was Vinck and Leonard who had served him

so. They had watched him, tracked his misdeeds, reported them to

Hudig. They had bribed obscure Chinamen, wormed out confidences

from tipsy skippers, got at various boatmen, and had pieced out

in that way the story of his irregularities. The blackness of

this dark intrigue filled him with horror. He could understand

Vinck. There was no love lost between them. But Leonard!

Leonard!



"Why, Captain Lingard," he burst out, "the fellow licked my

boots."



"Yes, yes, yes," said Lingard, testily, "we know that, and you

did your best to cram your boot down his throat. No man likes

that, my boy."



"I was always giving money to all that hungry lot," went on

Willems, passionately. "Always my hand in my pocket. They never

had to ask twice."



"Just so. Your generosity frightened them. They asked

themselves where all that came from, and concluded that it was

safer to throw you overboard. After all, Hudig is a much greater

man than you, my friend, and they have a claim on him also."



"What do you mean, Captain Lingard?"



"What do I mean?" repeated Lingard, slowly. "Why, you are not

going to make me believe you did not know your wife was Hudig's

daughter. Come now!"



Willems stopped suddenly and swayed about.



"Ah! I understand," he gasped. "I never heard . . . Lately I

thought there was . . . But no, I never guessed."



"Oh, you simpleton!" said Lingard, pityingly. "'Pon my word," he

muttered to himself, "I don't believe the fellow knew. Well!

well! Steady now. Pull yourself together. What's wrong there.

She is a good wife to you."



"Excellent wife," said Willems, in a dreary voice, looking far

over the black and scintillating water.



"Very well then," went on Lingard, with increasing friendliness.

"Nothing wrong there. But did you really think that Hudig was

marrying you off and giving you a house and I don't know what,

out of love for you?"



"I had served him well," answered Willems. "How well, you know

yourself--through thick and thin. No matter what work and what

risk, I was always there; always ready."



How well he saw the greatness of his work and the immensity of

that injustice which was his reward. She was that man's daughter!



In the light of this disclosure the facts of the last five years

of his life stood clearly revealed in their full meaning. He had

spoken first to Joanna at the gate of their dwelling as he went

to his work in the brilliant flush of the early morning, when

women and flowers are charming even to the dullest eyes. A most

respectable family--two women and a young man--were his next-door

neighbours. Nobody ever came to their little house but the

priest, a native from the Spanish islands, now and then. The

young man Leonard he had met in town, and was flattered by the

little fellow's immense respect for the great Willems. He let

him bring chairs, call the waiters, chalk his cues when playing

billiards, express his admiration in choice words. He even

condescended to listen patiently to Leonard's allusions to "our

beloved father," a man of official position, a government agent

in Koti, where he died of cholera, alas! a victim to duty, like a

good Catholic, and a good man. It sounded very respectable, and

Willems approved of those feeling references. Moreover, he

prided himself upon having no colour-prejudices and no racial

antipathies. He consented to drink curacoa one afternoon on the

verandah of Mrs. da Souza's house. He remembered Joanna that

day, swinging in a hammock. She was untidy even then, he

remembered, and that was the only impression he carried away from

that visit. He had no time for love in those glorious days, no

time even for a passing fancy, but gradually he fell into the

habit of calling almost every day at that little house where he

was greeted by Mrs. da Souza's shrill voice screaming for Joanna

to come and entertain the gentleman from Hudig & Co. And then

the sudden and unexpected visit of the priest. He remembered the

man's flat, yellow face, his thin legs, his propitiatory smile,

his beaming black eyes, his conciliating manner, his veiled hints

which he did not understand at the time. How he wondered what

the man wanted, and how unceremoniously he got rid of him. And

then came vividly into his recollection the morning when he met

again that fellow coming out of Hudig's office, and how he was

amused at the incongruous visit. And that morning with Hudig!

Would he ever forget it? Would he ever forget his surprise as

the master, instead of plunging at once into business, looked at

him thoughtfully before turning, with a furtive smile, to the

papers on the desk? He could hear him now, his nose in the paper

before him, dropping astonishing words in the intervals of wheezy

breathing.



"Heard said . . . called there often . . . most respectable

ladies . . . knew the father very well . . . estimable . . . best

thing for a young man . . . settle down. . . . Personally, very

glad to hear . . . thing arranged. . . . Suitable recognition of

valuable services. . . . Best thing--best thing to do."



And he believed! What credulity! What an ass! Hudig knew the

father! Rather. And so did everybody else probably; all except

himself. How proud he had been of Hudig's benevolent interest in

his fate! How proud he was when invited by Hudig to stay with

him at his little house in the country--where he could meet men,

men of official position--as a friend. Vinck had been green with

envy. Oh, yes! He had believed in the best thing, and took the

girl like a gift of fortune. How he boasted to Hudig of being

free from prejudices. The old scoundrel must have been laughing

in his sleeve at his fool of a confidential clerk. He took the

girl, guessing nothing. How could he? There had been a father

of some kind to the common knowledge. Men knew him; spoke about

him. A lank man of hopelessly mixed descent, but

otherwise--apparently--unobjectionable. The shady relations came

out afterward, but--with his freedom from prejudices--he did not

mind them, because, with their humble dependence, they completed

his triumphant life. Taken in! taken in! Hudig had found an

easy way to provide for the begging crowd. He had shifted the

burden of his youthful vagaries on to the shoulders of his

confidential clerk; and while he worked for the master, the

master had cheated him; had stolen his very self from him. He

was married. He belonged to that woman, no matter what she might

do! . . . Had sworn . . . for all life! . . . Thrown himself

away. . . . And that man dared this very morning call him a

thief! Damnation!



"Let go, Lingard!" he shouted, trying to get away by a sudden

jerk from the watchful old seaman. "Let me go and kill that . .

."



"No you don't!" panted Lingard, hanging on manfully. "You want

to kill, do you? You lunatic. Ah!--I've got you now! Be quiet,

I say!"



They struggled violently, Lingard forcing Willems slowly towards

the guard-rail. Under their feet the jetty sounded like a drum

in the quiet night. On the shore end the native caretaker of the

wharf watched the combat, squatting behind the safe shelter of

some big cases. The next day he informed his friends, with calm

satisfaction, that two drunken white men had fought on the jetty.



It had been a great fight. They fought without arms, like wild

beasts, after the manner of white men. No! nobody was killed, or

there would have been trouble and a report to make. How could he

know why they fought? White men have no reason when they are

like that.



Just as Lingard was beginning to fear that he would be unable to

restrain much longer the violence of the younger man, he felt

Willems' muscles relaxing, and took advantage of this opportunity

to pin him, by a last effort, to the rail. They both panted

heavily, speechless, their faces very close.



"All right," muttered Willems at last. "Don't break my back over

this infernal rail. I will be quiet."



"Now you are reasonable," said Lingard, much relieved. "What

made you fly into that passion?" he asked, leading him back to

the end of the jetty, and, still holding him prudently with one

hand, he fumbled with the other for his whistle and blew a shrill

and prolonged blast. Over the smooth water of the roadstead came

in answer a faint cry from one of the ships at anchor.



"My boat will be here directly," said Lingard. "Think of what

you are going to do. I sail to-night."



"What is there for me to do, except one thing?" said Willems,

gloomily.



"Look here," said Lingard; "I picked you up as a boy, and

consider myself responsible for you in a way. You took your life

into your own hands many years ago--but still . . ."



He paused, listening, till he heard the regular grind of the oars

in the rowlocks of the approaching boat then went on again.



"I have made it all right with Hudig. You owe him nothing now.

Go back to your wife. She is a good woman. Go back to her."



"Why, Captain Lingard," exclaimed Willems, "she . . ."



"It was most affecting," went on Lingard, without heeding him.

"I went to your house to look for you and there I saw her

despair. It was heart-breaking. She called for you; she

entreated me to find you. She spoke wildly, poor woman, as if

all this was her fault."



Willems listened amazed. The blind old idiot! How queerly he

misunderstood! But if it was true, if it was even true, the very

idea of seeing her filled his soul with intense loathing. He did

not break his oath, but he would not go back to her. Let hers be

the sin of that separation; of the sacred bond broken. He

revelled in the extreme purity of his heart, and he would not go

back to her. Let her come back to him. He had the comfortable

conviction that he would never see her again, and that through

her own fault only. In this conviction he told himself solemnly

that if she would come to him he would receive her with generous

forgiveness, because such was the praiseworthy solidity of his

principles. But he hesitated whether he would or would not

disclose to Lingard the revolting completeness of his

humiliation. Turned out of his house--and by his wife; that

woman who hardly dared to breathe in his presence, yesterday. He

remained perplexed and silent. No. He lacked the courage to

tell the ignoble story.



As the boat of the brig appeared suddenly on the black water

close to the jetty, Lingard broke the painful silence.



"I always thought," he said, sadly, "I always thought you were

somewhat heartless, Willems, and apt to cast adrift those that

thought most of you. I appeal to what is best in you; do not

abandon that woman."



"I have not abandoned her," answered Willems, quickly, with

conscious truthfulness. "Why should I? As you so justly

observed, she has been a good wife to me. A very good, quiet,

obedient, loving wife, and I love her as much as she loves me.

Every bit. But as to going back now, to that place where I . . .

To walk again amongst those men who yesterday were ready to crawl

before me, and then feel on my back the sting of their pitying or

satisfied smiles--no! I can't. I would rather hide from them at

the bottom of the sea," he went on, with resolute energy. "I

don't think, Captain Lingard," he added, more quietly, "I don't

think that you realize what my position was there."



In a wide sweep of his hand he took in the sleeping shore from

north to south, as if wishing it a proud and threatening

good-bye. For a short moment he forgot his downfall in the

recollection of his brilliant triumphs. Amongst the men of his

class and occupation who slept in those dark houses he had been

indeed the first.



"It is hard," muttered Lingard, pensively. "But whose the fault?



Whose the fault?"



"Captain Lingard!" cried Willems, under the sudden impulse of a

felicitous inspiration, "if you leave me here on this jetty--it's

murder. I shall never return to that place alive, wife or no

wife. You may just as well cut my throat at once."



The old seaman started.



"Don't try to frighten me, Willems," he said, with great

severity, and paused.



Above the accents of Willems' brazen despair he heard, with

considerable uneasiness, the whisper of his own absurd

conscience. He meditated for awhile with an irresolute air.



"I could tell you to go and drown yourself, and be damned to

you," he said, with an unsuccessful assumption of brutality in

his manner, "but I won't. We are responsible for one

another--worse luck. I am almost ashamed of myself, but I can

understand your dirty pride. I can! By . . ."



He broke off with a loud sigh and walked briskly to the steps, at

the bottom of which lay his boat, rising and falling gently on

the slight and invisible swell.



"Below there! Got a lamp in the boat? Well, light it and bring

it up, one of you. Hurry now!"



He tore out a page of his pocketbook, moistened his pencil with

great energy and waited, stamping his feet impatiently.



"I will see this thing through," he muttered to himself. "And I

will have it all square and ship-shape; see if I don't! Are you

going to bring that lamp, you son of a crippled mud-turtle? I am

waiting."



The gleam of the light on the paper placated his professional

anger, and he wrote rapidly, the final dash of his signature

curling the paper up in a triangular tear.



"Take that to this white Tuan's house. I will send the boat back

for you in half an hour."



The coxswain raised his lamp deliberately to Willem's face.



"This Tuan? Tau! I know."



"Quick then!" said Lingard, taking the lamp from him--and the man

went off at a run.



"Kassi mem! To the lady herself," called Lingard after him.



Then, when the man disappeared, he turned to Willems.



"I have written to your wife," he said. "If you do not return

for good, you do not go back to that house only for another

parting. You must come as you stand. I won't have that poor

woman tormented. I will see to it that you are not separated for

long. Trust me!"



Willems shivered, then smiled in the darkness.



"No fear of that," he muttered, enigmatically. "I trust you

implicitly, Captain Lingard," he added, in a louder tone.



Lingard led the way down the steps, swinging the lamp and

speaking over his shoulder.



"It is the second time, Willems, I take you in hand. Mind it is

the last. The second time; and the only difference between then

and now is that you were bare-footed then and have boots now. In

fourteen years. With all your smartness! A poor result that. A

very poor result."



He stood for awhile on the lowest platform of the steps, the

light of the lamp falling on the upturned face of the stroke oar,

who held the gunwale of the boat close alongside, ready for the

captain to step in.



"You see," he went on, argumentatively, fumbling about the top of

the lamp, "you got yourself so crooked amongst those 'longshore

quill-drivers that you could not run clear in any way. That's

what comes of such talk as yours, and of such a life. A man sees

so much falsehood that he begins to lie to himself. Pah!" he

said, in disgust, "there's only one place for an honest man. The

sea, my boy, the sea! But you never would; didn't think there

was enough money in it; and now--look!"



He blew the light out, and, stepping into the boat, stretched

quickly his hand towards Willems, with friendly care. Willems

sat by him in silence, and the boat shoved off, sweeping in a

wide circle towards the brig.



"Your compassion is all for my wife, Captain Lingard," said

Willems, moodily. "Do you think I am so very happy?"



"No! no!" said Lingard, heartily. "Not a word more shall pass my

lips. I had to speak my mind once, seeing that I knew you from a

child, so to speak. And now I shall forget; but you are young

yet. Life is very long," he went on, with unconscious sadness;

"let this be a lesson to you."



He laid his hand affectionately on Willems' shoulder, and they

both sat silent till the boat came alongside the ship's ladder.



When on board Lingard gave orders to his mate, and leading

Willems on the poop, sat on the breech of one of the brass

six-pounders with which his vessel was armed. The boat went off

again to bring back the messenger. As soon as it was seen

returning dark forms appeared on the brig's spars; then the sails

fell in festoons with a swish of their heavy folds, and hung

motionless under the yards in the dead calm of the clear and dewy

night. From the forward end came the clink of the windlass, and

soon afterwards the hail of the chief mate informing Lingard that

the cable was hove short.



"Hold on everything," hailed back Lingard; "we must wait for the

land-breeze before we let go our hold of the ground."



He approached Willems, who sat on the skylight, his body bent

down, his head low, and his hands hanging listlessly between his

knees.



"I am going to take you to Sambir," he said. "You've never heard

of the place, have you? Well, it's up that river of mine about

which people talk so much and know so little. I've found out the

entrance for a ship of Flash's size. It isn't easy. You'll see.



I will show you. You have been at sea long enough to take an

interest. . . . Pity you didn't stick to it. Well, I am going

there. I have my own trading post in the place. Almayer is my

partner. You knew him when he was at Hudig's. Oh, he lives

there as happy as a king. D'ye see, I have them all in my

pocket. The rajah is an old friend of mine. My word is law--and

I am the only trader. No other white man but Almayer had ever

been in that settlement. You will live quietly there till I come

back from my next cruise to the westward. We shall see then what

can be done for you. Never fear. I have no doubt my secret will

be safe with you. Keep mum about my river when you get amongst

the traders again. There's many would give their ears for the

knowledge of it. I'll tell you something: that's where I get all

my guttah and rattans. Simply inexhaustible, my boy."



While Lingard spoke Willems looked up quickly, but soon his head

fell on his breast in the discouraging certitude that the

knowledge he and Hudig had wished for so much had come to him too

late. He sat in a listless attitude.



"You will help Almayer in his trading if you have a heart for

it," continued Lingard, "just to kill time till I come back for

you. Only six weeks or so."



Over their heads the damp sails fluttered noisily in the first

faint puff of the breeze; then, as the airs freshened, the brig

tended to the wind, and the silenced canvas lay quietly aback.

The mate spoke with low distinctness from the shadows of the

quarter-deck.



"There's the breeze. Which way do you want to cast her, Captain

Lingard?"



Lingard's eyes, that had been fixed aloft, glanced down at the

dejected figure of the man sitting on the skylight. He seemed to

hesitate for a minute.



"To the northward, to the northward," he answered, testily, as if

annoyed at his own fleeting thought, "and bear a hand there.

Every puff of wind is worth money in these seas."



He remained motionless, listening to the rattle of blocks and the

creaking of trusses as the head-yards were hauled round. Sail

was made on the ship and the windlass manned again while he stood

still, lost in thought. He only roused himself when a barefooted

seacannie glided past him silently on his way to the wheel.



"Put the helm aport! Hard over!" he said, in his harsh

sea-voice, to the man whose face appeared suddenly out of the

darkness in the circle of light thrown upwards from the binnacle

lamps.



The anchor was secured, the yards trimmed, and the brig began to

move out of the roadstead. The sea woke up under the push of the

sharp cutwater, and whispered softly to the gliding craft in that

tender and rippling murmur in which it speaks sometimes to those

it nurses and loves. Lingard stood by the taff-rail listening,

with a pleased smile till the Flash began to draw close to the

only other vessel in the anchorage.



"Here, Willems," he said, calling him to his side, "d'ye see that

barque here? That's an Arab vessel. White men have mostly given

up the game, but this fellow drops in my wake often, and lives in

hopes of cutting me out in that settlement. Not while I live, I

trust. You see, Willems, I brought prosperity to that place. I

composed their quarrels, and saw them grow under my eyes.

There's peace and happiness there. I am more master there than

his Dutch Excellency down in Batavia ever will be when some day a

lazy man-of-war blunders at last against the river. I mean to

keep the Arabs out of it, with their lies and their intrigues. I

shall keep the venomous breed out, if it costs me my fortune."



The Flash drew quietly abreast of the barque, and was beginning

to drop it astern when a white figure started up on the poop of

the Arab vessel, and a voice called out--



"Greeting to the Rajah Laut!"



"To you greeting!" answered Lingard, after a moment of hesitating

surprise. Then he turned to Willems with a grim smile. "That's

Abdulla's voice," he said. "Mighty civil all of a sudden, isn't

he? I wonder what it means. Just like his impudence! No

matter! His civility or his impudence are all one to me. I know

that this fellow will be under way and after me like a shot. I

don't care! I have the heels of anything that floats in these

seas," he added, while his proud and loving glance ran over and

rested fondly amongst the brig's lofty and graceful spars.